"The Freshman"

After putting it off for a week with the Hamptons episode, Gossip Girl has to face up to the greatest of high school show challenges: College.  With half the cast attending NYU and half of them not, how will the writers prevent the show from fracturing? How will we get Serena to ditch Brown and stay in the city? If I know my Gossip, we won't have to wait long to find out.

As expected, Gossip Girl's taking the easy way out.  It's orientation week at NYU and before they even arrive, we get the sense that Dan and Blair are up for a role reversal.  That's fine.  Leighton's at her best when she's pouting and then seeking revenge and Dan's so-un-cool-i'm-cool-again shtick is getting tiresome.

Less than ten minutes in and Serena at Brown is no longer an issue. Even I'm surprised at the speed.  Her reasoning?  She's just not into college. Instead she's going to shack up at Chuck's until this plot point blows over.  No College? No big deal, sayeth the Chuck.  "College is just an accessory for people like us," he purrs.  I'm amused that Serena and Chuck are both wearing lavender, sending subconscious signals to my brain that they "match".  Well...they would be subconscious if everything Chuck wore didn't jump off the screen and into my full attention.  Without college for either of them, Chuck introduces Something To Do. Completely out of character, he confides in Serena about his latest business venture: turning an old bank into a speakeasy. All he asks is that she not be around later that evening.  Naturally, he neglects to mention any number of Important Facts that would have been handy for his new confidant to know.

Back at NYU, the contrived plots merge into a nice plait of Georgina's hair.  By rooming with Blair, she's poised to destroy any chance B has of being crowned Queen.  She shows up at a bookstore just in time to drive a wedge between Vanessa and Dan.  Poor Dan, why can't he give Georgina another chance?  I'm not wondering if Georgie's truly turning over a new leaf. I'm simply wondering how long it will be before the audience and the rest of the cast catch wind of her master plan.

In all this back to school setup, I completely forgot about Nate and Bree!  It looks like they're saving on sets and costumes this week by having the two of them romp around in her bedroom for the entire episode under some silly "let's get sick of each other" dare.  No school for these two!  If you're reading along while watching, just go ahead and skip their scenes.  Bree learns Nate's a romantic and Nate learns that Bree's parents still don't approve. They're going to make it work anyway. It may be a handy way to fast-forward their relationship so that the stakes seem higher in a future episode where this becomes interesting, but for now, it's boring.

Hey look! Is that a cockroach under that leaf of Georgina's?  Just as well, the sooner Blair gets through her embarrassingly stereotypical fall from grace and adjust to college, the better.

I don't remember college being a place where freshmen threw keggers on the roof of their dorms during orientation week, but I'm going to go with it, since the fading New York City sunset makes everyone look prettier.  Plus, Blair is forced to ditch the headbands and one of my husband's shirts makes a cameo.  Bonus points to the costumers for those highlights.  

After the party gets going, Blair drops a Jesus bomb on the place to knock Georgina off her pedestal.  Before the party's over, it becomes crystal clear how Gossip Girl is planning on keeping the series fresh.  Dan is in position to become King of the Dorm with the help of his freshly-formed harem (Vanessa, Georgie, and introducing Katie as the girl who loves him for his writing before anything else).  Blair makes a pitiful exit to her own music.  I shouldn't have caught that, but the 1% of my time that's devoted to popular music happened to include watching that video.  Call it fate.

Oh Serena, what are the men in this show that don't have a decent plot line going to do with you?  First you ruin Chuck's speakeasy plan accidentally, thanks to that information he should have mentioned earlier.  Then you string Carter along so you can ruin Chuck's plan again, leaving Carter with no other choice but to take his broken heart and leave you on your own.  Rufus comes along for the ride, first dishing out his own version of tough love and "forcing" you to head back to Brown, but since he's got a 3-scene minimum written into his contract, he gets to come back before the episode is over and be the real dad she's been searching for.  Thank goodness.

The episode ends like all good Gossip Girl 'sodes: a quick wrap up to this week's problems and a lovely teasers for next week.  Serena and Blair are still BFFs, and Serena is magically in love with Carter, who is magically cool with that. Although barely on screen together, Chuck and Blair get downright domestic.  Vanessa and Wooden Boy have patched things up after he apparently "got weird" at the party. I would have said more about him, but Scott hasn't really done anything other than be slightly odd.  The camera lingers on him like he's in a bad soap opera, but he doesn't do anything with that extra screen time, so I'm not sure what's going on there.

For the big shocker we turn to Dan, who had such a great time at Georgie's party that he's still there the next morning.  Dan's perspective on Georgie has spun around so many times I was almost surprised that she spent the night on his lap. Almost.  If he had turned his head the other way, and planted one on Katie, then I'd have been impressed.  Sadly, Dan's turning into Blair, not Chuck, so we'll probably have to wait another episode or two for something like that.  

Isn't Hillary Duff supposed to show up soon?

xoxo,
Recap Girl

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