"Reversals of Fortune"

When we last left the Upper East Siders, everyone was all wrapped up in nice little season-ending packages and ready for their summer vacays.  I'm sure everything went just as we expected, right?

Of course not! This is Gossip Girl, where the only thing that changes faster than the clothing trends is the plot!

Our first tease that's likely to be resolved before the music plugs at the end of the episode is how Serena spent her European vacation.  Little J and Little E managed to keep it under wraps while the rest of their family was off on maternity leave, erm, I mean summering in the Hamptons, but it appears that the drama has followed her back across the ocean.  Anyone else a bit squicked out that her "true love" boyfriend has so easily turned into the "rational concerned  brother" role so easily?

Chuck Bass' lecherousness is one of the best things about this show, so saddling him with a girlfriend makes things complicated.  Fortunately, Blair's up for a little role play to keep things interesting for the viewers at home.  Neither Nate nor Serena thinks this is a good idea, and I'm rolling my eyes because even real grown ups don't talk that way.  Also, I'm already bored with Blair's whining about becoming boring.

Back in Queens (Ron, please tell me if I got the location right) Lonely Boy Dan's embracing the sweet life a bit too much for Vanessa's taste.  This never sits right with me because Vanessa's made up as chic-ly as any other character and yet is perpetually "calling them" on how ridiculous they are.  Bitching about his expensive wallet while wearing several hundred dollars in clothes and jewelry (and makeup!) just doesn't work.  

Here is what makes Gossip Girl so easy to watch:  I couldn't remember what excuse they'd fabricated for Lily's absence, or why Rufus thought he was the boss of all creation, and then Jenny (who needs to wear PANTS!) and Eric summed it up nicely for me. They even threw in a mini-refresher on Carter, whom I just realized has always been Prince Jack.  If the show needed another claw to secure it's hold on me, they just found it.

After the refreshers and the vague setups (including a bit with the new dark horse, Scott), it's time to start the ball rolling.  Our attention spans are only so long.  What better way to throw everyone together than a polo match and a freshly manicured lawn. Nobody's hat is more awesome than Blair's. Jenny sticks around long enough to squeal over the engraved name plate and then she and Eric are pretty much done for the episode. Scott still seems to be up to something more than just getting to know his birth father, but I can't tell if he's being mysterious and ominous, or just a very bad actor.  Nate tries to cause a scene with his grandfather and his new girl (Vanderbilt and Buckley are the new Montague and Capulet), but both Gramps and Bree are too classy to do much more than raise an eyebrow and somehow, she's still game for a relationship.  Must be those dreamy eyes.  Speaking of eyes, the wandering pair of Chuck's get him into a bit of trouble.  Oh, and in case you weren't sure this was Gossip Girl, there's a bit with a restraining order that lasts all of 10 seconds.  

The best bit of the episode definitely goes to Serena and Carter.  After dressing her in long empire-waist gowns all episode, she brings the Jane Austen metaphor home by taking off into the woods on horseback with Carter hot on her tail.  When he catches her, we learn that she's been acting out because her father doesn't appreciate her.  Carter does, though.   That moment when the bad boy turns vulnerable will get me. Every. Time. Even as it was happening, my brain was screaming that I was better than this and I was being manipulated, my heart swelled and melted into a pile of goo.  

And that was pretty much the, ahem, climax.  There were a few loose ends to wrap up, but we weren't treated to an entire mini-episode in the last act, which occasionally happens with this show.  Nate takes back the car and gets to keep the girl, but we don't even get to wonder for 10 seconds if Grandpa's being sincere this time (he's not, natch).  Vanessa and Scott share a moment that might have been sweet if I cared about either of them and he didn't leave me with the feeling that she's part of his plan to destroy the Lily/Rufus clan.  Chuck expects us to believe that a 19-year-old actually lounges in a smoking jacket, silk pajama pants and slippers and somehow pulls it off.  Serena lets us know that she's resetting to pre-series "bad girl" but this time, she's doing it for a noble reason. That'll be fun, right?

Like Vanessa, I'm looking forward to seeing what happens when they get to college.

xoxo,
Recap Girl

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