Murmur - comicBOOKchris's Content

Love is Blind: The Room at midnight

Mon, 31 Aug 2009 22:46:25 GMT

by: comicBOOKchris
What can be better than watching the worst movie ever? Watching it at a midnight screening

I used to consider myself a bad movie connoisseur. I was on a quest to find the truly worst movie ever made, which led me down a path of purchasing and watching cinematic abortions that any normal person wouldn't think twice about watching. From the Ed Wood box set to Troll 2 to the the VH1 edit of Showgirls, I was all on top of the crappy flick scene. Why did I put myself through so much torture? I guess I just loved the camp appeal of these horrible masterpieces. After a few months, however, I had the sad realization that it has been a long time since I had seen a actual well made and written movie. Naturally, I had to put the brakes on my personal quest, for fear that I would enter some dark void that I would never escape. Fast forward to the present, where it has been years since I have been proactively searching for a movie in which the mere viewing of it would be the equivalent of smacking a shovel on a person's exposed brain. Thanks to a friend's recommendation, however, I may have finally found my coveted Golden Idol of Fertility. In a crowded movie theater in NYC at midnight, I have experienced The Room...and I am amazed.

Made back in 2003, The Room is a auteur film gone wrong. It seems that for every talented director who gets to fully realize his amazing dream project, some incompetent boob with too much money on his hands gets to drop his cinematic turd on all of our faces. The boob in this case is Tommy Wiseau, a creepy looking man with an Eastern European accent and a head full of horrible stories to tell. Not only was this flick written by him, but also staring him AND directed by him AND produced by him AND distributed by him. So how does his smelly opus fare?

Well before I get into all the good parts of the movie (and believe me, there are plenty of those), let me tell you about the atmosphere of the theater, because that was a big factor of the full Room experience. The theater, an East Village art house cinema, was packed to the brim with rowdy hardcore fans, some who were drunk as hell and some who reeked of strong weed. After sitting with these madfellows for a few minutes and hearing them scream out their favorite quotes, the movie finally started with a thunderous applause!

And what a magical piece of cinema it was. We get the privilege of following Johnny and Lisa, two star crossed lovers who live in a flat that resembles a badly designed porn movie set, complete with a canopy bed set and a TV BEHIND the couch (genius interior design!). Johnny, who is played by Wiseau (in a star-turning role) is the dreamy yet hideous perfect boyfriend, who gets roses for his girlfriend so many times that he's on a first name basis with the flower store clerk. His girlfriend, Lisa (or as Johnny pronounces it in his accent, LEEEESA!) is equally as hideous. Not only does it look like she does her eyeliner with a thick Sharpie, but she looks like Laura Dern if she had a sex change operation and became Lawrence Dern. So on the surface, it looks like this fugly couple are in heaven, as evidenced by the MANY scenes of them banging like two people in a Skinemax flick. However, not all is right in paradise, because Leeesa is bored, and cheating on Johnny's oft-referred best friend and soap-opera reject, Mark! That is the basic plot of the movie, a simple love triangle turmoil. Many things have been done with this formula, but The Room seems to fumble the short-distance thrown football on many occasions.

For one thing, Wiseau's script is absolutely terrible. It's obvious that he wrote it after a bad breakup in which he viewed himself as an angel and his ex as a snarling beast. So he painted himself to be a flawless Romeo who treats his girl like a princess, while Leeeeesa is an evil bitch who acts as such just because she's "bored". Additionally, scenes that are supposed to be big character moments are cluttered with useless information. For instance, when a friend asked Johnny how he and Leeeeesa met, he goes into a long diatribe about a $2000 check that wouldn't clear because it was from an out of state bank, while his friends are listening like it's the most interesting story in the world. Also, while Leeeesa is conversing with her mother, the mother nonchalantly brings up the fact that she just found out that she has breast cancer, which normally would get a huge emotional response out of a loved one. Instead, the two gloss over this revelation and it is never brought up again in the movie. None of the characters speak naturally, and all the rest of the script is written like a porno but without the emphasis around the sex.

The actors of The Room make the movie seem even worse. For every badly written and useless line that's written in the script, there is an equally bad actor or actress who spouts out the line. Wiseau is the biggest offender here, as he writes himself into several faux-Oscar scenes, including a scene where he angrily shakes his fists in the air and yells at the top of his lungs "YOU'RE TEARING ME APART LEEEESA!", as well as a scene where he Hulks out and hysterically destroys everything in his apartment. I made a comparison between Leeesa and Laura Dern earlier in the article, but where Dern is probably the best crier in Hollywood, this girl is quite possibly the worst. In fact, there's barely anything this girl can do that doesn't evoke laughter from the audience. Let's not forget, however, another show stealing performance: the immortal Denny. Filling in the role of the innocent young whelp, Denny gave a truly confusing performance. He's supposed to be Johnny's surrogate son who lives by himself in a nearby apartment and is finishing up college. However, not only is he referred to as being 16 years old, but he acts like a mentally challenged simpleton throughout the movie. He does things like barging in giggling while Johnny and Leeeesa are trying to get it on and jumps innocently in the bed with them, proclaiming that he "likes to watch". It's such a confusing character and performance. I don't think he's retarded or anything, I think that Wiseau just didn't know how to write a young character, so he correlated youth with acting like a toddler. Oh yeah, Denny gets a gun pulled on him by a shrieking drug dealer, because apparently Denny owes him money for drugs (the type of drugs or the "type of money" is never revealed, despite Leeeesa asking a billion fucking times.). Like the breast cancer plot point, though, this is quickly glossed over and never mentioned again.

There are many other random parts of The Room that make it the extremely fun schlock fest that it has been hyped as. For some reason, Johnny and Leeeeesa really like spoons, because around their apartment, they have several framed pictures of the aforementioned silverware. Whenever any of these pictures come into frame, the theater audience loudly yells out "SPOON!" and then proceeds to throw many plastic spoons towards the screen. I must have seen literally hundreds of plastic spoons fly over my head. There's also the many sex scenes, in which the sight of Leeeesa's surprisingly nice rack is immediately negated by the sight of Tommy Wiseau's naked dimpled ass. It's obvious that these scenes are the ones that Wiseau prepared himself the most for, as he puts so much effort into humping this poor girl's leg. According to interviews, he didn't even wear any special underwear or anything, for fear that it would ruin the artistic integrity. So that means that there's 100% Wiseau slamming up in there, and no struggling actress should put herself through that torture. The music during these scenes are your typical porn scores, which is hysterical in its own right, but these scenes are made funnier due to the fact and a band in the theater plays the music during these scenes! Finally, there are all the throwaway characters that clutter The Room, who all exist for no reason but for the main characters to bounce dialog off of while tossing a football at extremely close distances. This is made even more clear when one of Johnny's friends (but not BEST friend, like Mark!), who was established throughout the movie, mysteriously disappears halfway through the story. In the last 10 minutes, however, we are re-introduced to this character, but he's being played by a completely different actor! It doesn't make much of a difference, though, as both of these guys were never referred to by their names through the movie, and both had the same generic friend script lines. It just goes to show how little though was put into these roles. The worst throwaway characters, however, are the young couple who like to walk into Johnny and Leeeeesa's always unlocked apartment and randomly screw on their couch. There's no other point to these guys. They make no other meaningful interactions with the other characters about anything else. The only point to their story is that they boned once in a two minute scene while the guy made the worst sex faces I've ever seen. Enthralling.

There are some many more hysterically abysmal points, but the best thing to do is to is to experience Tommy Wiseau's magnum opus first hand, with a room full of rowdy fans who love crappy movies as much as you hopefully do. Being as knowledgeable as I am about these horrible masterpieces, I would have to say that if anyone is looking for the worst movie ever made to goof on, look no further than The Room. It is a very fun watch on its own, but going to see it at one of these midnight screenings in NYC and around the country enhances the experience tenfold. As you're watching the movie and making fun of Tommy Wiseau and his greasy&clumpy hair, however, keep this in mind: That money that you gave up for the tickets and any other memorbilia that you bought in the lobby is going right into his pockets. Being more or less the sole credit of the movie, it's likely that while we're all laughing at his cinematic abortion, Tommy is laughing as well...all the way to the bank. I, for one, feel great about this. I love the fact that he's gaining more money for future projects that can and probably will be of the same calibre as The Room. So many creators of our favorite bad cult films go into obscurity after making their masterpieces, so it's good to see that this goldmine of camp is still going to be producing for us. It's a bright day for bad movies, indeed.

Minutemen - "3-Way Tie (For Last)": Why The Hell Aren't You Listening To This?

Sat, 05 Sep 2009 21:48:39 GMT

by: comicBOOKchris
In the first of what will hopefully be a series, we look at a great album by one of punk's most unique bands.

One of the things I really hate are these indie rock snobs/douches who immediatly rag on all mainstream music just because it is popular. It's a real sickening attitude that makes some people miss the point of listening to music: to have fun! However, these snobby bastards are half right...to get to some of the really good prizes, you have to dig to the bottom of the cereal box. It's sometimes hard to find, so allow me, ladies and gentlemen, to guide your hand to the bottom of the box. I'll be reviewing some amazing yet almost-unrecognized albums that, in my opinion, are so good that they can be enjoyed by anyone despite their personal musical tastes. Be aware, though, that my musical tastes lean pretty far towards punk rock, so there's a good chance that a lot of the albums I review will most likely lean towards that genre. I'll try and be fair, however, and pick the best albums that truly transcend any genre constrictions and shine brightly.

And what a better place to start than with an album by the Minutemen. One of punk's most eclectic artists, it's unlikely that you will find a band more enigmatic than the Minutemen. They were apart of the SST Records family, who's band list read like a who's who of important hardcore underground punk, including Black Flag, Husker Du and the Meat Puppets. Although embodying the punk ethos and mostly touring with their hardcore punk labelmates, The Minutemen's sound is probably as far away from the traditional punk sound that most are used to. Sure, they shoot through their songs at a breakneck pace (an average Minutemen song clocks in at a minute and a half), though the screeching vocals and super distorted guitars are missing. Instead, most of the songs are bass driven, with the masterful performances of Mike Watt, arguably one of rock's all time best bass players. The guitars have more of a funky sound to them and don't sound too heavy or groggy. Singer/guitarist D. Boon, however, played this style in a fast blitzkreg punk style, which gave the band a very unique sound. Typical punk chords and "verse chorus verse" structures were rarely used in any of their songs, which resulted in most of their songs not only being short, but uniqually structured and composed.

3-Way Tie (For Last), the band's final album, is a great place to start for anyone to start thier Minutemen journey. It's definitly the most accesable and contemporary of their albums, but that doesn't diminish the quality in any way. By the time that this album came out, the Minutemen had perfected their distinctive sound, thus everything that makes that makes them great pops up at least once here. There are several bass tour-de-forces in which Watt carries the majority of the song, including the hard and heavy "No One", "What Is It", "Political Nightmare", and the slow-tempo "Just Another Soldier". Boon also brightly shines throughout the album, who shows his guitar playing range from the get-go on the opening track "Price of Paradise" and "Lost". Most of the songs on this album have politically charged and anti-war lyrics, but instead of making these lyrics snakry and tounge-in-cheek along the lines of bands like NOFX and Green Day, Boon crafts his lyrics like classic protest songs, which suprisingly makes the songs sound more factual than ham-fisted. Staying true to form, some very out-of-left-field songs are included here, like the sung over the phone version of "Bermuda", the blazing 30 second hardcore tune "Ack Ack Ack", the clasical guitar piece "Hittin' The Bong", and "Spoken Word Piece" in which Watt rattles off a odd tale about Liberal Man and Conservative Man. One more thing worth noting is that almost half the songs on the album are covers. One of them is the classic CCR song "Have You Ever Seen The Rain?" which, besides Boon's distinctive voice and Watt's very short bass intro, the band plays pretty straight forward and sounding much like the original version. Another the other cover of note, a version of Blue Oyster Cult's "The Red And The Black", is easily the best song on the album. The Minutemen make this song their own, as they leave their stamp all over this song, including an amazing guitar solo and a bass solo that undoubtly inspired the likes of Flea and Les Claypool.

As great of an example of the Minutemen's music this is, "3-Way Tie (For Last)" isn't even their best album. That honor goes to the sprawling epic "Double Nickels On The Dime". It can be a little intimidating to those not used to their music style, however, as that album is almost 40 songs long, which can be a bit daunting even if the songs are all about a minute and a half long. So for those uninitiated, be sure to pick up "3-Way Tie (For Last)". It's a great gateway into the unique and insanely fun music stylings of the Minutemen. So why the hell aren't you listening to this?

Listen or DIE!: Husker Du-New Day Rising

Tue, 22 Sep 2009 19:44:22 GMT

by: comicBOOKchris
With a new column title, we see that pop-punk isn't as bad as one would assume with Husker Du's brilliant album New Day Rising.

A friend and I were talking about Kings of Leon the other day, and how most fans believe that they have sold out in their recent albums. I mean yeah, they sound drastically different now then on their first album, but I'm sure it was less of a decision to do it to make more money than it was to musically strech their legs. Evolving musically is a really risky move for any band, since it's sure to polarize their fans and have them labeled as sell-outs. Please know that there is a HUGE difference between selling out and evolving. Normally when a band restructures their entire output and music style over one big hit that they had to sell more records, its most likely that they've sold out (SEE: Sugar Ray and Gwen Stefani). When a band evolves, it's more of a slow process in which they start to intergrate other ingredients into their original genre, and eventually the band will have a sound that is entirely their own. Sometimes this doesn't work too well, but for most cases, like with Husker Du, it makes for a very fun experiance.

Husker Du were apart of the immortal SST records lineup, which included many of punk's greatest bands on their label (SEE: Black Flag, Meat Puppets, Minutemen). Starting out as a strictly a hardcore band, Husker Du changed slowly through the years of their adopt more of a pop-punk sound...who WHOA WAIT! WHERE ARE YOU GOING? I hope I didn't scare you off with that last statement, but don't worry. When I say pop-punk, I don't mean these hacks who go out on stage dressed like a cross between a runway model and Sid Vicious and sing poppy dance tunes (SEE: Good Charlotte, Avril Lavigne, Something Corporate). Before this sub-genre was sullied, pop-punk was when bands would take some of the punk fundalmentals (such as the blazing vocals, the pounding distorted guitars and the typical punk chords) and paste them into the typical verse-chorus-verse structure that most pop songs use. That's not so bad, right? Husker Du started to take this approach with their music about midway throughout their career, with New Day Rising pretty much marking the crux of this evolution.

With Everything Falls Apart (their first album) being a strict hardcore punk affair and Warehouse: Songs and Stories (their final album), this album catches the band when they were using both of these elements in their songs. For instance, the opening track "New Day Rising" shoots out of the gate at 88 MPH with blazing instrumentals that will make your head spin. Singer/guitarist Bob Mould and singer/drummer Grant Hart, however, harmonize with each other in a way that their rough punk voices sound very melodic. The last 2 songs on the album, "Watcha Drinkin'" and "Plans I Make", are also fun hardcore punk barn-burners. A majority of this album, however, isn't as high octane, as the band utilizes its pounding distorted guitars and rough vocals into a more slow-tempoed and melodic song. "The Girl On Heaven Hill" is a good example of this, as it contains many of these punk trademarks, but slowed down and put into a pop song structure with hooks and a chorus, which makes it very catchy to sing along to. "Celebrated Summer" is another choice cut, as its undoubtedly a punk song, yet it sounds more melodic and plesant-sounding than one would expect. Additionally, the song breaks down near the end into a touching and quiet acoustic ballad, which is something else you don't normally expect to hear. As a matter of fact, the following song, "Perfect Example", is a completely quiet affair with turned down guitars and Mould almost singing under his breath.

The poppiest and most catchy song on the album is definitely "Books About UFOs", a love song sung by Hart and accompanied by cheerful keyboards. This is one that you will be undoubtibly bobbing your head to and singing with the chorus, as its a very fun song written during a time when the bands peers were all about negativity. "Terms Of Psychic Warefare", "I Don't Know What You're Talking About", and "I Apologize" are similar songs, as it's easy to trace their punk roots, yet when listened to, they sound like something more light and cheerful.

Husker Du is a very special band, in that not only do they write songs that are both hard-hitting and melodic, but they are also able to combine punk and pop elements in a way that feels very natural. Normally when a band abandons its former style for something sounding more mainstream, this would cause the bands fans to cry for their heads for apparantly selling out. Husker Du shows, however, that incorporating a pop element to something heavy like punk can not only work well, but it can also make the songs have a better sound to them. New Day Rising is without a doubt the pinnacle of their career, as all of the songs manage to be heavy and melodic at the same time, and is a must have for all rock fans.

NOTE: I provided Youtube links below for a couple of songs off the album.

http://tinyurl.com/n7wkjq - "The Girl Who Lives On Heaven Hill"
http://tinyurl.com/n8f449 - "Books About UFOs"

Zombieland: aka Attack of the Giant C**k Blocking Robots

Fri, 02 Oct 2009 14:42:17 GMT

by: comicBOOKchris
One of the year's funniest and most blood drenched movies, Zombieland combines great comedic acting and gory mayhem

I'm gonna come right out and say this: if you don't like Zombieland, then you don't have a soul.

When watching the trailer this new zom-com, the film makers made the goofy and zany elements of this movie clear as can be. While I was partially excited for a new zombie flick, I was pretty skeptical as well, seeing as that for the past few years, comedies that relied on goofy elements have burned our collective brains to a crisp (SEE: Date Movie, Epic Movie, The Comebacks, Meet The Spartans). After watching this, however, it's apparent that Zombieland has absolutely NOTHING in common with these cinematic abortions, and despite having an overly silly tone, delivers top notch acting and action scenes.

A horror-comedy like this can either fall into two categories: It can either be an Evil Dead 2-type, which is a horror movie with comedic elements sprinkled in, or it can be the Army Of Darkness-type, which is a comedy with horror elements sprinked in. Zombieland is most definitely an Army Of Darkenss-type, as even though there are horrifying zombies that have taken over the world and horrifically brutal scenes in which said zombies get mutilated, the intent of the film is never to scare, but to make you laugh. Writers Rhett Reese and Paul Wernick seem to know what elements make up a good dark comedy, as it is obvious that they possess a certain sadistic glee since this movie is filled with very funny and creative zombie kill scenes. However, if you can't find humor in zombies getting hilariously assaulted in various ways with various implements (which include a few gardening tools and a ukulele), don't be alarmed. These zombie kills are just the sprinkles on the absurdly gory cupcake that is Zombieland. The extremely fun acting is what makes up the bulk of the cake and frosting.

After watching Adventureland, it was a little fair to assume that Jesse Eisenberg was just a Michael Cera clone, as his characters apear to be the same awkward and dorky types that he plays. Eisenberg does play an awkward and dorky character in Zombieland named Columbus, but luckily we see that he has great comedic acting chops to back up that shtick. His dry and deadpan delivery stays fresh through the entire movie, and additionally makes for a great straight-man for Woody Harrelson's character. Harrelson...man...he must have been really hungry while filming this, since he really chewed up every scene of this flick! Anyone who is a horror aficionado knows that one of the key parts to any fun horror movie is that one over the top lead actor. Be it Bruce Campbell, Vincent Price, Jeffrey Combs, or Christopher Lee, horror movies are always better when there's a hammy actor who hilariously chews up the scenery. Woody Harrelson fills this role as Tallahassee, who shares the writers' sadistic glee and marches through the movie spouting one-liners and finding joy in mowing down hords of the undead. Everything about Tallahassee is over the top, and that's not even including his PWNAGE style of killing. From going on long diatribes on how the one thing that he wants in life is Twinkies to his fanboy-meltdown when he meets his idol, Harrelson once again proves that he can be a truly hilarious presence. It also doesn't hurt that Eisenberg and Harrelson, two incredible comedic actors in their solo scenes, prove to have great chemistry together, as they steal the show in every scene that they are together and bounce great dialog off of each other. Emma Stone and Abigale Breslin both co-star in the movie as con artist sisters who also have great chemistry together. They are both fun to watch and get good laughs, especially when paired with the comedic juggernauts of Eisenberg and Harrelson.

One of the standout devices of this movie is the use of the many text displays of Columbus' Zombie-Survival Rules. Throughout the movie, Columbus frequently consults his self written rules, which are common sense practices for those who want to survive in a zombie infested world, many of which are already common sense to most zombie flick fans. One of these rules include a strict cardio regiment to keep in shape and not run out of breath while running, since these zombies aren't the slow plodding kind from the George Romero "Night of the Living Dead" movies, but the super fast and strong types from the "Dawn of the Dead" remake. Other rules include the Double-Tap (two shots to the head so you know they're dead), be wary in bathrooms, and always wear your seat-belt since with zombies roaming the Earth, there are sure to be many fatal roadblocks. Whenever someone obeys or disobeys any of Columbus' many rules, a text display of that rule appears on screen to remind the viewer. For instance, when Columbus is driving a car with a malicious zombie in the back seat and slams on the breaks to send to zombie flying through the windshield, a text display appears on screen reading "Rule No. 4: Seatbelts". Another instance is when Tallahassee mows down a bunch of zombies with his car and then proceeds to back up over them to further flatten them into pancakes we get on screen "Rule No. 2: Double Tap". This proves to be an effective running gag, as with everything else in this movie, continues to stay fresh through the duration.

Zombieland is sure to be an instant classic to not only horror fans, but to ones of all types of comedy. To those who are typically squeamish, all I can say is that hopefully you can look past all the bloodiness (it needs to be there, it is a zombie movie after all) and see this movie for the great comedic story that it is. All of the characters are not only hysterical to watch, but are also great actors who add the required amount of depth to their characters so they don't seem one dimensional. Zombieland is going on my list of my favorite movies for this year, since at no point does this movie fail to deliver the blood drenched dark horror-comedy that was promised. I can see myself seeing this movie several more times in the near future, because by the end I was still craving more zombie massacre madness, and there's a great chance that you will too.

P.S. - This movie contains possibly the greatest cameo scene of all time. Saying who the cameo is by will ruin the surprise, but all I can say is that it is one of the film's highlights and that it easily dethrones Chuck Norris' scene in Dodgeball.

Listen Or DIE!: Ween-Live In Chicago

Wed, 07 Oct 2009 00:19:47 GMT

by: comicBOOKchris
Rock's most eclectic band, Ween, performs this live album and proves they are live rock legends.

A band's live performance can really ignite my interest in any band, or it can likewise severely dampen my love of them. I'm sure this mindset is the same with most music lovers. Let's say, for instance, that you are the biggest Jonas Brothers fan in the world, and own all their studio albums and listen to them around the clock. Cut to a few months or years later, and you finally get tickets to one of their overpriced and gaudy shows, and have the biggest expectations in the world since you hope that seeing them live will spark the same excitement in you from when you listen to their songs at home. The way I see it, The Jonas Brothers can either play like their instruments are are on holy fire and excite you so much that you'll walk out of the concert hall with increased adrenaline and a new sense of love for the band (and probably a Purity Ring, as well). However, if they are slouches while playing live and fail to excite you, they will always carry that stench like a dog who was sprayed by a skunk. Even if you continue to like their music, they will always carry the stigma that "Yeah, their music is great, but they really suck live!". I have seen many bands play live that fit into both these categories, but if you asked me who is the band that only not makes great studio music, but also completely blows me away musically as a live band, I would answer with Ween in a split second. Not only that, but I would give you a copy of their live CD/DVD Live In Chicago as a small sample of their greatness.

Everytime I think of all the fun live concerts I've been to through my life, I always come back to that night at the McCarren Pool Park in Williamsburg, Brooklyn when I had the privilege to see Ween for the first time. Never before have I been so amazed by a live show, and ever since then I have never had the same experience. Before hearing any of their live material, I was very skeptical of how they would sound. If anyone else knows Ween well enough, you would know that a good chunk of their studio albums are highly unconventional rock pieces, which can be quite polarizing to music fans. I'm a huge fan of all their work, but was very unsure of how most of their songs would translate into live performances, as most of them utilize creative yet a little bizarre recording techniques and effects. The dynamic duo of Gene and Dean Ween have put together some truly eclectic songs over the years, featuring warped voice effects, interesting musical arrangements, and genre spanning songs (from all types of rock to sea shanties to even country!). When it comes to their recent live shows, however, instead of trimming the odd songs from their setlist, they do a little tweeking and rework them with their touring band to make all their songs into rollicking and fun rock performances. Live From Chicago perfectly encapsulates the band's ability to put on a great performance, and is a great album for anyone who enjoys exciting and interesting shows...even if Ween rubs you the wrong way. I know you people are out there!

Even though Ween recorded this album while touring for their 2003 album Quebec, they were sure to include a wide variety of songs from not only their later years when they composed songs with a full band, but from their earlier years when Dean and Gene were just kids who composed all their songs with a 4-track tape recorder (which is actually a good chunk of their career). The songs off their latter albums, White Pepper and Quebec, sound pretty identical to their studio album counterparts, but given a little more life when performed live. The keyboard-infused pop-rock melody "Even If You Don't" retains that cheerful and peppy tone that makes it similar to a song off an early Beatles album, "Transderbal Celebration" is still a great example of Ween's ability to string together moving compositions, and "The Grobe" actually has more of the methodically paced-yet-hard hitting guitars and drums that originally made the song so heavy. In fact, "Zoloft" actually sounds better here than on Quebec, as the song still has the trippy and airy instrumentals, though Gene Ween projects more emotion and feeling into his voice while singing it here, not to mention adding some very funny and weird nonsense ramblings between verses. It makes for a very relaxing listen with a touch of bizarre thrown into the mix.

What makes this album really shine, however, are the performances of all the older Ween material from albums like Chocolate&Cheese and GodWeenSatan, which can be described as avant-garde rock songs in which Dean and Gene recorded all the instruments (usually consisting of guitars, synthesizers, and drum machines) themselves onto a 4-track tape. These songs are usually fun and interesting on the studio albums, but when performed live with a full band, these songs are given new life, as the human participation and improvisation really liven up songs that sound a little flat. The stand out example of this is "Voodoo Lady", as the live version of this song is much more exciting than the studio version. If you're a guitar enthusiast or if guitar solos are your favorite part of the song, you really owe it to yourself to listen to this one, as Dean Ween completely annihilates the room with his masterful playing and extended solo. His guitar improvisation skills are something of legend, and it's a skill that I thought died when all the old rock bands officially became classic rock. "Roses Are Free" is another standout song, since not only is the original's instrumentals almost completely done with a synth and drum machine, but Gene also warps his voice so much in the studio that he sounds like a female singer. I was most curious and skeptical of how this song would sound, since everything about it is computerized. I was shocked to hear that it actually sounds alot more animated live, as the artificial computer sound goes out the window in favor for a much fuller and bouncy sound. Additionally, Gene is sort of able to sing the song in its trademark voice without any effects, as he is able to throw his voice around and change octaves mid verse during songs. In other words, he can make his voice sound pretty fucking weird and crazy by will and without any effects, and that takes talent. He does this in other songs which require odd sounding vocals, including "Transdermal Celebration", "Spinal Meningitis", and very noticeably on "Mutilated Lips". This is another stand out song, as it's a sample of the band's unplugged performances during the concert, and strikes a very nice balance between a relaxing song and a dark&sort-of creepy one. Finally, "Ocean Man" is an extremely enjoyable listen, as its a light and poppy song from Ween's album of sea shanties, The Mollusk. It's just a very fun and catchy tune that will sure to have you singing along with a huge smile on your face.

Ween's Live In Chicago is a sample of the example of why I am very passionate about this band: their ability to put a real rocking and epic show based solely on their music. I do think that they are quite innovative and impressive musicians and songwriters, as one listen to any of their studio albums proves they really go outside the box for song ideas. But for me, Dean and Gene Ween's ability to take their mishmash of songs and make them into captivating and fun performances really puts them at the top of the huge mountain that is rock music. Not since Frank Zappa has there been such an innovative and entertaining live band. Even if you're not a fan of the different musical stylings of Ween, give Live In Chicago a listen, and you will see why they are such an exciting band.

P.S.- I included some live cuts of some of my favorite Ween songs, most off Live In Chicago and in good quality. I put in "Booze Me Up And Get Me High" even though it is just on the DVD because its a pretty fun song and one the audience really gets behind."Roses Are Free" is just the live song and no video.

"Voodoo Lady (Live)" - http://tinyurl.com/y9vy74r
"Booze Me Up And Get Me High (Live)" - http://tinyurl.com/ye7tg58
"Mutilated Lips (Live)" - http://tinyurl.com/yd62jpe
"Roses Are Free (Live)" - http://tinyurl.com/ydxwr7x

Listen Or DIE!: X-Los Angeles

Mon, 07 Dec 2009 21:36:44 GMT

by: comicBOOKchris
On this edition, we talk about the quintessential SoCal punk rock band X, and their trademark and highly influential album Los Angeles.

X is one of those bands who are unknown to a good majority of the general public, but if you ask anyone who really has their ear to the ground for music(especially for underground music), they will swear that they are living legends and that their music is unparalleled and highly influential. Not only are they one of the first American bands on the punk scene in the late 70's, but they have a sound that causes them to stand out from their hardcore peers. The best way to describe X's music is that they take a big dallop of catchy and infectous SoCal punk, mix in some rockabilly, and top everything off with some wonderful mixed gender vocal harmonies, curtosy of lead singer Exene Cervenka and singer/bassist John Doe. The band has put out some truly memorable music using this formula, and as evidensed by their 1980 debut album, Los Angeles, it didn't take long for them to work on their sound: from their inception, they hit the ground running and make some of the best rock out there.

X blasts out of the gates with the first song of the album "Your Phone's Off The Hook, But You're Not", and right off the bat, you get a good idea of the type of band they are at their core. The tempo is fast paced yet melodic, the guitars are played with more finese than what you are probably used to from SoCal punk bands of that era, and there is the vocal harmonies of Exene and John Doe which will become a recurring factor in all their songs. The powerhouse vocals are one of the things that make X really stand out, as the two lead singers make an interesting duo. Doe, who has a deep and smooth voice which is more harmonious, goes together really well with Exene, who's vocals are more chaotic, frenzied, and biting. Actually, turn on "Johnny Hit And Run Pauline" (featuring John Doe on lead vocals), and then flip over to "Nausea" (this time an Exene lead song), and you'll get a good idea of their different vocal stylings. Maybe this is proof that opposites really do go together, but regardless of rhyme or reason, the vocal pairings of Doe and Exene are one of the things that make X an immensly enjoyable listen.

The other piece of the puzzle that makes X one of the best bands out there is their proficiency on instruments, which Los Angeles showcases without a shadow of doubt. While they are through and through a punk band, nearly all their songs have a bit of a rockabilly taste to them, which is thanks to the contribution of guitarist Billy Zoom and drummer DJ Bonebrake. While Zoom plays loud and at the typical punk speed, he plays technically proficient chords and melodies that are reminiscent of Chuck Berry and The Blasters (another SoCal band that have been closely associated with X through the years). This gives the songs a fun and freewheeling sound to them, though they still possess the attitude and raw energy that their 1st wave punk contemporaries are known, like Black Flag and the Circle Jerks (Quick trivia question, punk fans! Besides the same location, what do these 2 bands and X have in common?). "Johnny Hit And Run Pauline", a song about a tragic girl in a tragic situation, blasts through with Zoom's "punk rock Chuck Berry" guitars and Doe&Exene's snakry vocals, and proves how much of a bite this band has. "Los Angeles", a song about pretty much growing crazy and weary of said city, is another great song bursting with attitude and impressive instrumentals, as is the following track, "Sex&Dying In High Society".

It is also worth giving a nod to the producer of Los Angeles, Ray Manzarek. Many of you fellow music nerds may know this man as the keyboardist and one of the founding members of a little known band called The Doors, and here, he helps X develop their sound for a great sounding album. Everything sounds like a punk album should: not too polished, possess a bit of that garage sound, but not too garbled that you cant differentiate the different tracks on each song. Manzarek also contributes to the songs in both a direct and indirect way. When I say indirect, I speak of the sped up version of The Doors' "Soul Kitchen" that X performs at the beginning of the album, which is a fun punk cover. As for directly contributing, Manzarek steps behind the keyboard once again for a few tracks, lending that trademark electric organ sound that The Doors are well known for. Two of the songs he plays along with, "Nausea" and "The Unheard Music", are more slow burning songs then a majority of the ones on this album, though they still possess that punk rock attitude, and is interesting to hear this sound we all know so well from The Doors mixes with a SoCal punk band's music. The last song on the album, "The World's A Mess; It's In My Kiss", is easily the best song on Los Angeles, as it contains everything which made this album great. This song has John Doe and Exene's great harmonies, Zoom's fast flying rockabilly guitars, Bonebrake's proficient drumming, and Manzarek's trademark keyboards for an additional treat. Everyone really came together well for this final song, as it is a true punk tour de force.

X is one of the best punk rock groups ever, plain and simple. While most of their peers from SoCal were just concerned with playing louder and faster, X fine tuned their musical abilities to make infectious and fun music, while still remaining as bad ass as any 1st Wave punk band. In addition, Los Angeles is a killer debut album and proves that this band had an amazing sound from the moment that they started. Though believe it or not, X actually IMPROVES their sound in later releases, and starting with the extraordinary album Wild Gift, they start to perfect their music into something greater. Los Angeles, however, remains an essential album for any punk rock...hell...ANYONE to own, as X proves why they are living legends from the beginning of their career and how they perfectly capture the punk spirit and attitude with all their amazing songs.

Songs:

Johnny Hit And Run Pauline

The World's A Mess; It's In My Kiss

Los Angeles

Listen or DIE!: Flight of the Conchords-I Told You I Was Freaky

Tue, 03 Nov 2009 22:41:21 GMT

by: comicBOOKchris
On the tails of the sophomore season of their HBO comedy series, New Zealand's 4th most popular folk-rock duo release their sophomore album.

It's unlikely that I have to tell you that Flight of the Conchords are one of the freshest acts in comedy today. Not only do Jemaine Clement and Bret McKenzie write incredibly witty and sharp lyrics, but they are also great songsmiths who incorporate instrumental elements into their songs that add to the hilarity and help each song sound fresh and fun to listen to. However, it's also unlikely that I have to tell you that the second season of their HBO show suffered a pretty bad sophomore slump. The reason behind the slump is quite obvious, though, as the first season uses all the A-grade material that they have been developing and using for years, whereas the second season focused primarily on songs and material that was written in a much shorter amount of time. So when "I Told You I Was Freaky" was announced, I was a little worried that that sophomore slump would translate to the album, since this is pretty much a collection of songs used during the second season (just as FOTC's self-titled debut album was a collection of songs used during the first season.). So imagine my suprise when I finished listening to this album and realized that I had the most fun in a long time listening to music.

After listening to "I Told You I Was Freaky", it's possible that you will look at these songs in a new light then you did after watching them on the TV show, as you won't be judging them by how well they relate to or move along an episode. I feel that the songs are funnier and stronger without the burden of how well they fit into the episode's context. For example, the song "Petrov, Yelyena, and Me" (a Russian seashanty about cannibalism) was pretty much shoehorned into the final episode, as it had nothing to do with the plot and seemed the only reason it was there was so that the Conchords could fill up time with their old material. None of that matters on this album though, as you can enjoy this and the other songs as as separate entities.

And talk about enjoyable music. Even though most of these songs were written in a shorter period of time than the songs on their previous album, they have all the wit and humor that you would expect from the Conchords. "Hurt Feelings" starts the album off, which continues their motif of hysterically lampooning hip-hop. This song is pretty much a spiritual sequel to "Hiphopopotamus vs. Rhymenoceros", as it consists of Brett and Jemaine rapping about stuff that only seems gangsta to them, which include hurt feelings over a unappreciated cooked diner and friends ditching them to watch Maid in Manhattan. Their common shtick of two foreign losers is prevalent through the album, as is their imaginary world where they are the two biggest rock stars who the ladies can never get enough of. The following rap song "Sugalumps" is an example of this, as they proclaim "All these bitches checkin' out my britches/Put 'em in a trance when I wear track pants/My dungarees make them hungry/They're over the moon when I don pantaloons!"

The Conchords delve into other genres with fun (and sometimes sexy) results, including 70's garage rock with "Demon Woman", which the nonsensical lyrics are overshadowed with the great guitar riffs, which proves that they aren't only superb comedians, but they are superb comedians/musicians. Another example of this is the 80's New Wave/"Vogue" send-up entitled "Fashion Is Danger", which seems to take every outrageous cliche about 80's music and mash it into one song. The lyrics in this one are also pretty nonsensical, as Bret and Jemanie singing about the mood this music describes, and randomly exclaiming "President Regan!" and "Jazzersize!". There's also "Too Many Dicks (On The Dance Floor)" which is a very funny dance club song where the duo lament about exactly what the title describes. "You Don't Have To Be A Prostitute" can be described as a parody of The Police, as it has that same pop-reggae sound, though the lyrics are about Bret desperately pleading with Jemaine not to sell his body on the streets for money. One of the best songs on the album, "We're Both In Love With A Sexy Lady", is an example of the best type of lyrics Flight of the Conchords write, in which they amusingly banter back and forth. This can also be seen as an R. Kelly parody, being as this is an R&B song and they similarly sing in the way that he annoyingly sings dialog and normal conversation.

All the above mentioned songs show the Conchords straying from their original acoustic roots. This isn't a complaint, but a testament to how they can spread their musical comedy to a wide range of genres. That being said, it's good to hear Bret and Jemaine throw in some simpler acoustic songs into the mix. "Carol Brown" is a delightful and funny song in which Jemaine laments about the rhyming ways that his girlfriends have left him (Loretta broke it off in a letter, she wrote that she was leaving and that her life would be better. Joan broke it off over the phone, after the tone, she left me alone.) "Rambling Through The Avenues Of Time" is another sweet acoustic song, in which Bret sings about a rosy and gleeful time with a girl, while a nearby Jemaine, not feeling moved by Bret's beautiful descriptions, openly mocks him and tells him to keep it down. In an iTunes exclusive track, we revisit Season 1 of the HBO show with "Pencils In The Wind", a touching acoustic song about love metaphors...with all the metaphors being about rolls of tape.

"I Told You I Was Freaky" is a great outing by the kiwi duo Flight Of The Conchrods. It seems to avoid the sophmore slump that the second season of their TV show suffered, as the songs remain as witty and fun as ever. The only thing that would have made this album better would be if the videos to each of these songs were included, as they sometimes add to the experience. Luckily for all you reading this, I've included the videos to a few of their songs at the bottom to enhance your enjoyment of New Zealand's 4th most famous folk/rock duo. This is a very solidly put toghether album, and is a must have for their fans, and quite frankly, anyone who loves comedy.

Videos

Sugalumps

Rambling Through The Avenues Of Time

You Don't Have To Be A Prostitute

Carol Brown

Fashion Is Danger

Too Many Dicks (On The Dance Floor)

Black Dynamite: aka Donuts Don't Wear Alligator Shoes

Wed, 25 Nov 2009 19:45:10 GMT

by: comicBOOKchris
The movie Black Dynamite is certified to be 100% bad ass, so see it now or your honky butt will be shattered like glass!

Anyone remember the golden age of spoof movies? Hell, I sure don't. I was either not born or an infant during the years when Mel Brooks, the Zucker Brothers (ZAZ), and others constantly cranked out hysterical flicks that successfully goofed on other movie staples. Unfortunately, my generation has had to suffer through poor and horrible excuses of spoof movies, with every succeeding one being worse than the last. These lazy and untalented filmmakers don't even bother to write jokes in their script, but instead just throw in every dated pop culture reference and random movie character into the mix, hoping that just the references alone will cause people to laugh (The immortal Maddox poked fun at this with this video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mVHWJ9jPYw8). So naturally, when I saw the trailer for Black Dynamite, a parody of Blaxplotation movies of the 70's like Shaft and Foxy Brown, I was a bit worried that this would be more unlikeable "humor" and that this would just be another nail in the spoof movie coffin. However, I decided to take a chance on it, since the trailer looked funny enough and had that corny 70s movie camp charm that I love so much. It was a very risky decision to make, though while walking out of the theater after the movie concluded, I felt incredibly happy that I took that risk, as it was a truly rewarding experience.

I'm going to be completely blunt: Black Dynamite is the funniest movie of the year. I know that this is a pretty bold statement, considering the high caliber of comedies that were released this year (SEE: Zombieland, The Hangover, Extract, Adventureland, GI Joe), but I assure you that the hype is to be believed. Every joke works perfectly, and every actor delivers a great performance. The standout performance, of course, is that of star Michael Jai White, who knocks it out of the park as the titular Black Dynamite. White, along with the other cast members, play their roles relatively straight yet ironic, as if they were seriously acting in a real Blaxploitation film. This is a major reason that this film works so well, as if the actors played their roles in a goofy manner seen in most parody movies, the funny scenes would surely lose much of their impact. Because of this, White wasn't a parody caricature of a Blaxploitation hero...he WAS a Blaxploitation hero! He had that swagger & charm to make him the ultimate ladies man, and the mean scowl&physical presence to make him an intimidating foe to his enemies, which in the end means that you believe that he can really kick your ass and then seduce your girlfriend/wife! That was the real genius to Black Dynamite: Not only is he a straight-up likable and ass kicking hero, but all the crazy shenanigans that happen to him seem so much more hysterical since he's playing the role so seriously. I liken the character to Leslie Nielsen in Police Squad!, where he was relatively straight laced while the environments and plots he was apart of were zany. All in all, White give one of my favorite performances of the year, which really surprised me since I think the man has been in hibernation since he starred in Spawn all those years ago.

The other reason that Black Dynamite works so well is that it looks and feels like an authentic 70's Blaxploitation flick. After seeing this movie for the second time, I went straight home and watched Coffy, a famous Blaxploitation film staring Pam Grier, to see how Black Dynamite stood up the the real thing. Amazingly, this parody almost mirrors what it is sending up in a stylistic sense. The filmmakers obviously had a good grasp on the little things that make this genre so unique and rememberable, and thus they do a great job here displaying them in all their ridiculous glory. The script is chock full of hysterical versions of typical Blaxploitation players: the angry black militants, the jive talking playas, the extremely lavishly dressed pimps with ridiculous names (My personal favorite was Captain Kangaroo Pimp), the comically square white supporting characters, and of course, the denizens of women who can't help but fall in love with the main hero. Like I mentioned before, as ridiculous as these characterizations are, they never come across as overly goofy, as they are acting just as silly as the characters they are making fun of. The plot is also based on the typical Blaxploitation plot, where a sole hero fights for justice and against drugs and corruption, usually against "The Man". In this movie, Black Dynamite fights against the mob and other corrupt villains after his brother is killed, and makes it his personal mission to make the streets safe and drug-free. The movie rides out this plot until around the end, where Black Dynamite and his teammates uncover a hysterically twisted conspiracy that will either have you falling out of your chair laughing or desperately trying to avert your eyes away. From there on, the tone of the last act of the movie spikes in absurdity, but the humor still stays fresh because it's such a hilarious shift in tone that comes out of nowhere and leaves the audience truly surprised. I don't want to give much away about the last act, but when you see Black Dynamite and his crew solving a ridiculously crazy riddle akin to the ones Adam West solved in the 60's Batman series, expect some crazy shit to go down soon.

The photography of this film makes it look very authentic, as well. Everything looks like it was shot on old school film and ever has some very visible scratches and cigarette burns. There was even a few intentional production and acting flubs, like Black Dynamite hitting his head on a boom mike and a few actors flubbing their lines and actions (When a spear comes out of nowhere and kills someone, Black Dynamite responds "Who saw that coming?...I MEAN, who saw where that was coming from??). This is a typical parody movie crutch, but luckily it isn't overused in this movie. Finally, what would a Blaxploitation movie be without its funky soundtrack? Thankfully, much attention is given to sending up songs like "Theme From Shaft" and "Freddie's Dead", which play during their respective movies and describe what's happening in the scene while the song is playing. The makers of Black Dynamite have a fun time with this, from the main character's Shaft-like theme song (which is played briefly whenever he makes a big enterance onto a scene) to the annoying loud and overbearing dramatic music that gets played in all the shocking and revealing scenes. The soundtrack is always a crucial part of these types of movies, so it's good to see that they are parodied so well.

Even if you are not really a fan of the Blaxploitation films of old, you really owe it to yourself to see Black Dynamite. It's a great loving ode to those cheesily dramatic movies, but it is also a brilliantly written comedy that hits the nail on the head withh all its jokes. Major kudos go out to Michael Jai White, who not only proves that he has great comedic acting chops, but showcases his amazing grasp on this genre in front of the camera as a completely believable Blaxploitation hero, as well as behind the camera as a great writer who included all the right elements into the script (That's right folks, he even penned the script!). Like I mentioned before, Black Dynamite is without a doubt the funniest movie of the year, and needs to be seen as soon as you can. For all those people that will surely question me and ask me "Is it REALLY THAT good?", all I can say is that you bet your ass and half a titty!

Black Dynamite trailer

Avatar: aka Sigourney Weaver Looks Alot More Handsome In IMAX

Sat, 19 Dec 2009 00:01:11 GMT

by: comicBOOKchris
So this is the movie that is supposed to not only change the way we see movies, but change the way we look at life! Is it a catilyst for radical cinematic change? Or was is simply just a fun movie?

...and on the 12th year, the almighty deity known as James Cameron rose from the dead, emerged from his tomb of underwater submersible vehicles, and hath doth decided to impart his cinematic genius once again to us mere mortals. Since the almighty is a kind and charitable deity, he took pity on the reprehensible and primitive way we look at movies and decided. And alas, just like when Prometheus stole fire from Mount Olympus and gave it to man, the almighty James Cameron decided to revolutionize the way we look at movies and impart upon us how the gods watch movies. So, tucked away in his secret laboratory (you got to pronounce that the British way: la-bore-a-tory), the almighty worked day and night to use his cinematic genius to work on a project that is akin to the splitting of the atom...the technology to be featured in his latest movie, Avatar! Oh, praise be to you, James Cameron, for sharing your almighty vision with us, for it has not only changed the way we will forever watch cinema, but has truly revolutionized all our lives! Amen!

I like to goof on James Cameron. I mean I have absolutely nothing against him, but I find it funny how he pretty much became a larger than life persona in the past 20 years or so. He's praised as a god in Hollywood, with investors pretty much crapping money in an effort to give him funds. Unlike most Hollywood personas, he has the credibility and talent to back these claims up. If you look at his filmography, it almost reads as a list of some of the greatest films of all time. Terminator 1&2, Aliens, and Titanic? These are all films that have not only had a massive impact in Hollywood, but also really resonated with audiences worldwide. The man is a goldmine, plain and simple. What I personally like about him, though, is that he really knows how to put a compelling story together. Not only does he know how to push the audience's emotional buttons, but can really move a story along on all its beats, even though it can be a bit cliched (I'm looking at you, Titanic!). So now we have Avatar, which is not only Cameron's long awaited follow up to the monstrous hit Titanic, but was also made with new CG technology which was developed and trademarked by Cameron himself (!!!). I can kind of understand why he was a bit apprehensive about making this, since how the hell does anyone follow up Titanic, the highest grossing movie in ALL OF CINEMATIC HISTORY?! Cameron needed a hell of a follow-up act, so he spent nearly four years crafting this flick with this supposedly groundbreaking technology. This weekend, though, it's high noon. Audiences will now be flocking to see how Cameron's next epic movie fares, and if it's as groundbreaking and revolutionary as the advertisements hype it up to be. Fortunatly, I bought tickets for the first midnight IMAX screening back in August (horribly geeky, I know), and now having James Cameron rape my face with his epic movie, I can now tell all of you in a professional and mature manner what I thought of Avatar...

...and Holy monkey balls, was it good! I had a really good time watching Avatar, as I feel the gorgeous on-screen visuals and epic battle scenes combined real well for a very enjoyable time at the movies. I would describe the plot to you, but it is likely that you saw the trailers and assumed that it was another "Man comes to new area, man leaves his own kind to infiltrate natives, man identifies with natives, man helps natives rebel against his former kin" type of movie, in which case you're absolutely correct. We've seen this movie formula many times before, as its a great way to throw in an allegory to how the white man/humans are fucking everything up. So yeah, the overall plot is a bit cliched, but what really makes a sci-fi movie great is the details about the world that everything is taking place in. Luckily, Cameron writes this movie in a world that is diverse and a great setting for numerous adventures. This is where the new Cameron technology comes in. Never before has a setting or landscape been so beautifully displayed than that of the planet Pandora. The widscreen shots of Pandora's environment were simply breathtaking, from the deluge of rock islands floating in mid air to the massive unique trees that were as big as skyscrapers. The wildlife and living plants are also quite noteworthy, as this technology can deftly portray Cameron's vivid ideas. Reading all of this may not particularly sway you to a favorable opinion about this movie, since we've all been pretty desensitized in recent years by an overload of special effects in movies (Star Wars Ep. III being the worst offender in this case), so CG doesn't necessarily dazzle us audiences anymore. Let me reassure you though: This movie brings us closer to bridging the gap between the physical and computer animated realms. The CG animals and plants have less of that cartoony or 3D look to them that is usually associated with CG structures, and have a more physical texture to them. It's pretty jaw dropping to see this alien environment get portrayed in a manner like this, as this movie is pretty much a benchmark in the evolution of digital filmmaking. Additionally, all of these CG structures are utterly beautiful. This is especially true in all the night scenes, when everything glows with a neon light that is brighter than the Las Vegas strip. A real standout example were some of the trees, which glowed like electric cherry blossoms, and were a real delight to see. This scenery was a real treat to look at, but was even more impressive to see the many action scenes take place in them. One of the final fights of the movie, which involved a dogfight between futuristic helicopters and dragons on the floating rock islands, is a standout example of this. This is a real credit to the abilities of James Cameron, as you can have all the technology that money can buy and still make a really boring movie. Cameron, however, shows us how much imagination he has by writing this elaborate universe and the adventures that go on in it. In that sense, it was probably good that the story was as simple as it was, since it gave more time for the actors and the Na'vi characters to explore this diverse world.

Which brings me to my next point: the Na'vi characters. These CG creatures are what would ultimately make this movie a rousing success or a complete laughing stock, as the real spectacle is to see how this new Cameron technology would mix with human acting. I've never been a fan of CG structures modeled after humans, as they look like a strange hybrid of cartoon character and human, which in the end looks pretty unsettling and creepy. The characters always look dead behind the eyes, and the facial movements always look unnatural. I am happy to say, however, that this new technology shows a huge improvement in portraying human characters (or, for Avatar's case, human-like creatures). When the trailer for this movie first came out, everyone scoffed at the Na'vi creatures, saying how they were more or less blue Jar-Jar Binks rip-offs and how they couldn't see what the big deal was about them. When you see them on the big screen, however, it is much easier to differentiate these characters from CG characters from the ones of the past. The Na'vi people, like the CG plants and animals, have a visible tangibility that has always been an elusive factor in making CG actors, and have much more genuine emotions. Even though the faces were humanoid instead of human, they still displayed very human emotions and had all the facial ticks and reactions that one would see on a real life actor. It was almost as if the actors were wearing extensive make-up and were not computer animated at all, which I think is a very important step in the evolution of movie making. Most fans of movies, including myself, highly prefer old school special effects techniques to their CG counterparts, such as make-up, stop motion, and even puppets. For me, CG graphics cannot replicate that tangible feeling that these techniques give off...but if this technology really does eventually bridge the gap between the physical and computer generated and gives EVERYTHING that tangible feeling that we prefer, then that really opens up the possibilities of movie makers everywhere.

Wow...I can't believe I went through this entire review of this movie so far only mentioning special effects, and not talking about the acting at all! The universe is truly folding onto itself! Even though the acting sort of takes a minor backseat to the effects in this type of movie, competant acting is still required to move the movie along and make you feel for the story. Luckily, we get a great cast who take this movie seriously and really pour their hearts into their performances. The cast is led by Sam Worthington as Jake Sully, who deftly portrays the leading hero of the story. He's charismatic and a strong performer, which is everything a movie hero should be. Another notable performance is that of Stephen Lang as Col. Quaritch, the main villain. It's odd that a human actor would be the most over-the-top factor in a movie that features the most bizarre landscapes and creatures that you'll probably ever see, but that is certainly the case with Lang in Avatar. Imagine R. Lee Emery times 10 and crossed with an evil version of the Halo space marine, and you get Col. Quaritch. It was fun to see him storming about the movie with his tough Marine bravado, as he was a really memorable bad guy. The cast is rounded out by some great supporting players, including the always dependable Sigourney Weaver and the always cute Michelle Rodriguez. it was good to see that in a movie that was as special effects heavy as Avatar, the actors still gave quite memorable and fun performances.

There are alot of people who are skeptical of how good Avatar will be. They see the trailers, see some blue CG creatures, notice that the overall plot is a bit formulaic, and are ready to completely dismiss this movie as another CG crapfest. What these people fail to realize, however, is that even though it's fun to mock his larger-than-life director persona, James Cameron is a master moviemaker. We're talking about the man who made some of the greatest movies of all time, including the then-groundbreaking Terminator 2! So if anything, have some faith that the man will show you a tight and fun movie, even if we did see the plot formula used dozens of times before. This was not only a gripping and emotional movie, but was also amongst the most beautiful I've ever seen. So if you can, make it a priority to see it in IMAX for maximum effect. I have no doubts that it will look great in regular 3D, but I'm not entirely sure how everything will translate to 2D. I'm sure the effects still look great, but it is possible that you won't be wowed as much by them if you see it in IMAX or 3D. As for the claims that this movie will "change the way you see movies forever", which is quite a sizable promise from Cameron, all I can say is that the effects in this movie ARE very revolutionary, and might possibly change the way we look at CG dominated movies. I've always hated these types of movies, as they have a immensely fake feeling to them that in the end disgusts me. However, if this Cameron technology is truly the future way that effects are produced and that this movie is a stepping stone to computer graphics completely resembling anything physical, then I suppose the almighty James Cameron is right: Avatar just might change the way I look at future movies.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Chris Powers is glad to live the remainder of his life knowing that he's seen Michelle Rodriguez's very cute face on the IMAX screen. Has he mentioned his infatuation with her on his Twitter?

The Great Mega Man Blitzkreig: An Insane Retrospective Look at Mega Man 1-10

Tue, 06 Apr 2010 08:49:28 GMT

by: comicBOOKchris
I have done what most gamers nowadays think is impossible: I have played through all 10 Mega Man games in a row unassisted! Part retrospective on the entire main Mega Man series, and part look into the psyche of the crazy person who decided to play these all in a row.

My name is Chris, and as some of you know, I write my own column for this site called Listen or DIE, in which I review albums usually in the realm of punk or hard rock that may have slipped under most people's radars. I haven't been writing it in awhile, however, because for the past couple of months, I have just been way too bummed out. I had recently been laid off from my job, and was utterly devastated in a way that I'm sure that most you you readers understand. Unemployment is one of the most nerve wracking situations anyone can find themselves apart of, though I am happy to say that I am adjusting quite well. I have even been on a few successful interviews for new jobs, and believe that I may have new work sooner than later. The time in between the interview and the call back, however, is an incredibly stressful period. Naturally, I needed something to do that would distract me from the situation during the time when I am not actively looking on job sites. This something would not only have to be time consuming, but above all else, really cheap. I had a couple of options, such as reading the stack of actual books that I let pile up since I neglected them for comic reading, start going to the gym again frequently, or to give my apartment a through cleaning and make it look immaculate. You know, actual constructive activities. It was around this time when I was reading some stuff on IGN and noticed that they had just put up a review for the latest Mega Man game, Mega Man 10. I was a huge fan of the previous game in the series, so I started to anticipate the release of this new game, as it would surely pass some idle time that I would otherwise spend worrying about my situation. Another thought immediately occurred to me though: This is the TENTH game of a series that is pretty much heralded as one of the definitive platform games of all of video game history, and I have barely beaten any of them! Don't get me wrong, Mega Man and I are no strangers, as I've played his games quite a few times through the years. It's just that out of all the games in the series that I have played, the only ones that I had played all the way through were Mega Man 2 and 9 (I had also beaten two games in the Mega Man X series, but for all intents and purposes, I'm not going to count those). I started to question my own credentials as a gamer, because I was always under the belief that only the creme-de-la-creme of gamers have the patience and ability to beat several of these games, and doing so is like getting a Bachelor's Degree in Video Gaming. Additionally, if one were to beat them without the help of any sort of game guide, it would be like getting a Doctorate. Not long after thinking about all this, I was plopped down in my chair with controller in hand with possibly the geekiest and most psychotic personal mission that I had ever made for myself: I was going to play every Mega Man game all the way through with absolutely no assistance. That's 10 full games of a series that is considered by many to be either extremely difficult and flat out unbeatable. My mission was to master all of them in a row. I wouldn't call what I did an experiment of any kind, though I'm sure if you ran an experiment called "What would happen if an unemployed gamer was given unlimited free and idle time?", I'm pretty sure the result would be something similar to what I did. Now that I look back on what I could have done with my spare time, I definitely feel that I could have used my rare idle time more constructively, but I have no regrets, since I bet anything else I would have been able to do wouldn't have been half as fun as The Great Mega Man Blitzkrieg. Plus, I wanted my Video Game Doctorate, dammit!

For those unaware of the games, allow me to fill you in a bit. Mega Man is a series 2D platforming games which was produced by Capcom, most of which were released on the original Nintendo. When the first game was released back in 1987, not only was the NES a hot new item for which game developers were just breaking ground in exploring its gaming capabilities, but the first Super Mario Bros. game was a fresh release by a year or two, and subsequently had not yet entirely made its impact in revolutionizing video games as we know them. Because of that, the Mega Man games kind of evolved in their own direction, as they have a slightly different feel than any other 2D game on the market. The main plot of the series takes place in the future in the year 20XX and revolves around two warring genius scientists: the good Dr. Light, who develops robots to help and serve mankind, and the evil Dr. Wily, who uses robots to try and take over the world. Naturally, Wily's actions don't fly with Dr. Light, so he sends out his greatest creation, Mega Man, to thwart his evil plans time and time again. It is quite a simplistic overall plot, and to be honest, the story never gets much more in depth through any of the games. The real spectacle here is the challenging and sometimes unforgiving gameplay. There are enemies and spike traps and death pits and floating platforms over said death pits galore, and navigating these challenges is no walk in the park. The games are a true test in your skills in platform gaming, as each level requires you to time all your movements perfectly. Initially, your only lines of defense are to jump and to fire little energy bullets from your arm cannon called the Mega Buster. For the most part, the game is non-linear, as you can play the levels in which ever order makes you happy. There's a twist to this however: At the end of each level, you will fight a boss battle against the level's Robot Master, who will each have varied attacks that fits within the theme of the character. For instance, Bomb Man will chuck bombs at you, Snake Man will shoot denizens of ground slithering snakes at you, and Heat Man will shoot fire balls at you. After beating each Robot Master, you will gain their respective powers for use through the rest of the game. These powers include projectiles that go in different directions, shields, boomerangs, and other types of varied weapons that will undoubtedly make clearing the levels much less of a torturous experience. The biggest asset to gaining these powers, however, is that for each power you gain, there will be one Robot Master who will be terribly weak to that power, as one shot with it will wipe out about a quarter of his health. So an added challenge of the game is to figure out the order in which to tackle the bosses, find out who is weak to what, and most importantly, which one of the Robot Masters is what I call the Bitch Boss and will go down easily and unassisted by any weapon besides your Mega Buster. Yeah, you can go onto Gamefaqs and see which order to battle the Robot Masters, but where is the fun in that? A big challenge in the game is to use trial and error, as well as odd video game logic, to figure out what power to use in what situation. As I mentioned before, part of my personal stipulations for The Great Mega Man Blitzkrieg was to stay away from any game guides in order to experience the maximum amount of challenge and, most importantly, to figure out the boss fight order by myself. So that's the basic low down on the Mega Man series, and now that we're done with introductions, it is time we head down into the 8-bit abyss...

MEGA MAN 1!!!

I dove headfirst into the first Mega Man game as an eager and doe-eyed gamer who was unaware of the extents of the test that laid before me, similarly to how a young kid enters Marine boot camp on Parris Island, or how a young heavy metal fan enters his first GWAR show. Oddly enough, my first thoughts upon playing my first level was "Man, this game looks incredibly dated!". I know this was a silly thing to be surprised about, being as I was well aware that this was an NES game released in the late 80's, but it was a bit surprising on how an early game like this compares to the later released and more detailed games like Super Mario Bros. 3 and the later games of this series. Here, the backgrounds are pretty much just solid colors, the minor enemies in the stages are a bit unoriginal and uninspired, and there are flickering glitches galore. So yeah, this is not the most attractive game in the world, but the gameplay is quite solid. In fact, the controls in this game will remain relatively unchanged through the entire series, with only small additions here and there. The boss order here is pretty easy to figure out, as they have quite elementary obvious themes (Fire Man and Ice Man are obviously linked somehow, as are Cut Man and Guts Man, who throws rocks). Each of the bosses had a unique look, but it was a bit weird playing against them as they only had about 2 animations each, so they looked extremely stoic. It was odd seeing Guts Man and Bomb Man hop around the stage while remaining completely unmoving. Also, it was a bit novel to see this game implement a staple that is even more extinct than the Velociraptor: points. Maybe it is because of the age we live in, but I found the extent to which winning points was hyped during this game was quite funny. "If you beat Ice Man, you get 60,000 points!! HOLY SHIT!!!" So to sum up my feelings on this game, it is halfway decent and lays the basic groundwork for the future games. It definitely feels like the blandest of all the games, but it's still worth playing if you have the thirst for 2D platforming.

MEGA MAN 2!!!

I did quite an extensive victory dance after beating Wily at the end of Mega Man 1, since I was kind of blown away. I wasn't surprised that I beat the game, as I knew that I would eventually do so. I was more surprised that I beat Mega Man, a game part of a series considered to be the most challenging, in 2 days. I don't know what exactly happened, but I was struggling a bit when I first started, and out of no where I got on a massive roll where I was making all the bad guys into my robotic bitches. After the final boss fight, I was pumped up on 8-bit adrenaline, so without break, I dove right into Mega Man 2. Perhaps it was because I had just came off of playing the previous game, but Mega Man 2 really blows its predecessor out of the water. The levels seem much more vibrant and better designed, and don't seem like interchangeable techno-based stages. The bosses were again unique, though unlike the last game, a few of them are starting to appear a bit quirky. For example, you have Heat Man (a walking Zippo lighter), Air Man (a walking window mounted circular fan) and the oddest, Wood Man (A robotic log with a face who has a force field made up of indestructible leaves). The controls remain unchanged from the first game, but whereas Mega Man sets the gameplay standard, Mega Man 2 pretty much sets all the other standards that remain through the series. The level select screen, the map of Wily's castle, the vivid and colorful levels and the overall subtle quirkiness are things that will become staples in the future games. This game is a noteable part of the Blitzkrieg in that this is one of the two Mega Man games that I had previously beaten, the other being Mega Man 9. I played Mega Man 2 a few years ago, and even though I beat the game, I did it back then with the help of a game guide. Luckily, I didn't remember the entire boss order when I replayed it as a part of the Blitzkrieg, though I did remember right off the bat who the Bitch Boss was. I do remember how easy it was to beat the game, however, when I knew exactly what to use on who. This was the reason why I wanted to beat this series unassisted: for me, it's just too damn easy to win when you have all the answers. So to wrap up Mega Man 2, I can see why fans consider this to be the best game of the series. The gameplay strikes a chord between simple and challenging, and everything seems to be in the right balance. After playing this, I was reminded on why I love this series so much.

MEGA MAN 3!!!

I breezed through Mega Man 2 in about the same amount of time as 1. I was really stoked, but didn't think much of it since I figured that since I had previously beat the game (albeit it being a few years ago), I would probably have an easier time beating it now since I remembered secrets here and there. This being the case, I was still in the mood to kick some robot ass. You couldn't sick me on those Robot Master bastards soon enough! So I did a leaping karate kick into Mega Man 3, but then realized that I more or less tried to kick down a brick wall. For those that aren't following me: Mega Man 3 is really fucking tough. It seems that after perfecting the game formula in 2, Capcom decided that the only way to make forward movement in the series is to ramp up the difficulty curve at an exponential rate. Perhaps it was due to the fact that only 2 of the powers you received were useful (Shadow Man's multi-directional shuriken blade and Needle Man's auto-fire weapon), but it was probably tougher to combat the overwhelming number of enemies in this game than any other. Not to mention that after all 8 of the Robot Masters are defeated and before you play through the final Dr. Wily stages, you play though 4 levels in which you must defeat stronger and faster versions of the 8 bosses from Mega Man 2! However, even though Mega Man 3 is one of the more difficult games out there, it is a bit notable for containing the Robot Master named Top Man, who is without a doubt the bitchiest Bitch Boss in the entire series. Not only is he a waste of space and super easy to defeat, but the weapon that you receive after beating him is probably the most worthless one in the entire series, and will probably only be used on the boss who is weak against it, if at all. The final few Dr. Wily boss fight is also probably the easiest in the series, because as with Mega Man 2, the final boss is defeated with the most useless weapon that you acquire. Difficulty isn't the only thing added to Mega Man 3, however, as Capcom continues to improve the graphics of the levels and backgrounds, and also features the debut of some other staples of the Mega Man series. For instance, this game features the first appearance of Mega Man's dog Rush, who is able to swoop in and act as a springboard, a flying skateboard or a submarine. Needless to say, Rush highly enhances your initial limited abilities, and is a highly welcome addition to the series. We also meet Proto Man for the first time, who we learn in this game is Mega Man's older brother. Proto Man plays an odd role in this series, as he's a good guy, yet you battle him nearly every time you meet him. He also acts as sort of a deus ex machina at the end of nearly all the games, as whenever you're met with certain doom at the hands of Dr. Wily, his trademark whistle plays as he comes down to rescue your ass. Finally, this is the first game in which Mega Man can perform a baseball slide by pressing the down and jump buttons together. This evasive maneuver comes in quite whenever you want to dodge low shots without jumping or if you want to move around quickly, so this is another nice addition. So for anyone looking for a solid challenge, look no further than Mega Man 3, as this one isn't to be treated with kid gloves.

MEGA MAN 4!!!

So Mega Man 3 wiped me the hell out. Maybe it was because I finished playing it sometime after midnight, but I felt mentally exhausted and unable to process anymore Mega Man action in my brain. So I went to sleep so I could rest up for Mega Man 4 (and whatever else I was doing the next day), and there it happened: I had a dream completely in 8-bit NES graphics. Now I'm aware of the theories behind dreams and how they are usually a combination of your thoughts and memories of the day, but I was still a bit freaked out. Mega Man had started to invade my conciseness! Even though I was kind of afraid that my mind would snap down the road and cause me to start seeing day to day life in NES graphics, I decided to soldier onto Mega Man 4. This is the first of many games in the series that tries to convince us that Dr. Wily is not the one trying to take over the world, and that it is a completely different adversary behind everything. I normally don't like to give out spoilers, but nearly every game from hereon out will not only have this same exact plot, but the same exact final plot twist: Wily was behind it the whole time! You will traverse the main baddie's multiple-stage castle, but then realize that you've been faked out and must go through Wily's castle. It's kind of like if at the end of all M. Night Shyamalan movies since The Sixth Sense, the big twist was that the main character could see dead people all along every time. This time, the main baddie is the hilariously stereotyped Dr. Cossack, who sits atop his Russian style palace and dispatches his Robot Masters onto the world. I can't quite put my finger on it, but the bosses in this game seemed to be the lamest of the series. They all seemed very mediocre, as they weren't as memorable as the ones in the previous games or as kooky as the ones in the future ones. The fights themselves also don't seem too fun, since they will just boil down to who can spam their weapon the fastest before health runs out. Everything else is fine, however, as the level design still continues to excel and the graphics push the envelope on the processing power of the NES. Mega Man even gains a new ability, in that now when you hold down the fire button, he can charge up his Mega Buster and fire a more powerful shot. It's a nifty addition, though it will become more useful in the later games. So I wouldn't say there's anything wrong with Mega Man 4, as most of the ingredients to a good Mega Man games are included. It just seems to be an average experience that is outshined by the other releases.

MEGA MAN 5!!!

I started to lose a bit of steam while playing Mega Man 4. I'm not sure if my fatigue caused me to not enjoy the game as much as the others or visa-versa, but all I knew was that if I kept leaping into the games a second after beating the previous ones, I'd probably go nuts to the extend I previously mentioned. So after 4, I took exactly 24 hours before I even put on the next game, and continued to do this through the rest of The Blitzkrieg. All I can say is that since I'm not constantly hearing a MIDI soundtrack in my mind and my girlfriend isn't an 8-bit GIF animation, my method has obviously worked and I have not snapped. So after a breather, I was onto Mega Man 5! It should be noted that while playing this, I realized that I must have evolved into some sort of Mega Man savant, since I took out nearly half the Robot Masters with just my Mega Buster. I don't mean to sound cocky, but after playing all these games in a row, it's a statistical fact that I was going to become a master at these games after playing these all in a row. Although, it could be that the bosses in this game are just easier, since in the later games, I had a much tougher time with some of them. In this game, replace Dr. Cossack with Proto Man as the main bad guy and you have your plot. However, as in pretty much every game before this one, we are faked out right after the "final" confrontation and must fight and even "finaler" boss fight against Wily. The Robot Master fights are more fun this time around, and and this time some interesting elements are included, like the constantly switching gravity during Gravity Man's battle and the almost non-existent gravity during Star Man's battle. The levels in this game are also among the best of the series, such as Charge Man's level which takes place on a moving train, the last stage in the Proto Man castle where you have to literally bring down the house correctly to navigate around, and the part of Wave Man's stage in which you hop onto a speeding jetski and zoom across the waters while blasting quickly approaching enemies. These levels not only push the graphical NES capabilities to the max, but are also some of the best in any Mega Man games. So to sum up, I would highly suggest Mega Man 5 to anyone. Yeah, Mega Man 2 is considered to be the all star of the series, but this game is so well balanced in terms of gameplay and difficulty that it deserves equal billing as an all time classic.

MEGA MAN 6!!!

Half-way done! At this point, I was feeling completely different about playing these games than I was around when I was playing Mega Man 3 and 4. Then, I felt like I had a chisel and was slowly chipping away at a monstrous 8-bit Aggro Crag that would be a pipe dream to completely cut down. Now that I was up to Mega Man 6, the final game released on the NES, I felt like I was in the midst of cutting off a huge glowing piece of the Aggro Crag and about to take it home after winning several twisted sports competitions (Alright! I'll stop with the Nickelodeon Guts references, just put the gun down!). There was certainly a light at the end of the tunnel, so I anxiously jumped into the game. The main baddie of Mega Man 6 is Mr. X, who apparently took everyone by surprise when he announced that he was taking over the world despite being the most obvious looking villain of all time (See image to the left where Mega Man is flabbergasted that a conspicuous looking man with the name of Mr. X would want to take over the world.) Also, I know what you're all thinking, and even though this series has a history of swerving us with the final boss battle, Mr. X is TOTALLY the main baddie here, despite looking exactly like Dr. Wily. Pinky swear! Anyways, another thing that all the games in this series has in common is the subtle underlying kookiness. From the simplistic cheesy dialog to some ridiculous Robot Master designs (Charge Man, for example, is a steam locomotive with legs), it is obvious that the makers of Mega Man weren't trying to make deadly serious games. It's in Mega Man 6, however, where the quirkiness is pushed to the front lines, therefore making the games even more amusing and fun to watch as well as play. The Robot Masters are certainly the weirdest of any of the ones who made NES appearances, as they include Blizzard Man, who dons a poof ball winter hat and gloves and chases you on skis, Flame Man, a sultan who resides in Arabian palace full of flammable oil, and Centaur Man, who...is a centaur! The tone of this game, however, is best described by the fact that one of the many enemies that you encounter in Blizzard Man's stage are evil robotic curling stones. I'll give you a moment to let that sink in, you an rejoin me when you're ready. Besides all the added weirdness, I found that this game looked very similar to Mega Man 5, since it was in that game where they pretty much perfected the way the series looks on the NES. It also seems to be the easiest of all the Mega Man games (I say this fully aware of my newfound godhood over anything Mega Man), and seems to be a good place for any newbies to the series to start off with. So even though I wasn't challenged as much this time around, Mega Man 6 did in fact pepper in some aspects that I thought made the game stand out. First off, your dog Rush, who usually came to your assistance as a springboard or rocket skateboard in the previous games, can instead transform and attach himself to Mega Man in order to form a Voltron-like robot. One of the armors gives you a jetpack which enables you to have limited flight, and the other bulks you up and allows you to perform a rocket punch that breaks down some walls. It's an interesting tweak that changes gameplay up a bit, and I wish that it was used in more games than in this one and Mega Man 7 (where it is perfected). Secondly, this game has some of the best music of any NES game I have played. I would be remiss to not mention how horribly addictive the music was in all of the games of this series (especially the theme to Mega Man 2, as well as the song that plays during the Wily levels of that same game), as the music composers of these games are more or less John Williams with the MIDI program. The Mega Man 6 soundtrack is my personal favorite of the series, as I can find myself playing through all the levels an additional time just to hear the songs again. The best song, though, is the one that plays during the boss battles (I think I found my new ringtone). So to close the casket on the NES games, Mega Man 6 doesn't have the difficulty level to make it as challenging of a play as the previous games, but it is an entertaining and fun game nonetheless. If anything, play it for the increased kookiness and awesome soundtrack.

MEGA MAN 7!!!

Goodbye NES, and thanks for all the fish! Capcom stuck with making Mega Man games on the NES until it was simply not profitable anymore and when Nintendo's new platform, the Super Nintendo, was being phased in to replace the NES. Additionally, when Mega Man 6 was released, Capcom found a new cash cow with a new Mega Man spin off series called Mega Man X. This new series boasted more sleek and stylish visuals as well as a more serious approach to story. For a time, these games simply outshined its father series, though this didn't stop Capcom from giving it the old college try and continue the original series on a new platform. The result of that is Mega Man 7 for the SNES, and man, was it a change for me at first. After playing 6 straight NES Mega Man games in a row in a short timespan, it was a bit jarring to put on this game and see the drastic graphic overhaul. The game looks very gorgeous, however, as the environment and characters are beautifully rendered in a soft cartoon form, and makes the entire game even more vivid than the creators were striving to make it look on the NES. Besides the game having a slightly different flow and feel due to the more animations of Mega Man's sprite, the gameplay has remained ultimately unchanged. That being said, this game seems a bit more sluggish than any of the other games of this series at first, though after getting adjusted, it was like I was playing any other classic Mega Man game. Besides visual aesthetics, a few new additions were made to the series through this game. At the level select screen, you had the option to going to an item store where you can buy such useful items like extra lives, E-Tanks which you can use to fill up your health in a clutch situation, and some more odds and ends. This is a big time saver, because before this when you wanted more lives or E-tanks, you would have to tediously replay a level a few times just to get whatever you need. This game also introduces a new major character named Bass, who can be best described as the anti-Mega Man, and will be one of the most difficult boss battles of this game. Now I'm a pretty bold man, so I'm going to make a bold statement: Mega Man 7 is one of, if not the, best game in the entire series. It has the best replay value of any of the games, as a big emphasis is placed on the exploration of all the levels to get certain major power-ups, like Proto Man's shield after a battle with him, as well as the Rush Voltron armor. The powers you receive in this game are not only useful against enemies, but can also be used at certain points in the level to find secret passages and to reach places that were previously unreachable. An example of this is during Slash Man's Jurassic Park stage, where you can use your fire weapon and burn down some foliage to find some important hidden stuff. This is an important thing to do, if anything to at least find the parts of the Rush armor, which is not only the most bitichin' weapon in any of the Mega Man games, but makes the final stages less of a challenge. This brings me to my next point, as Mega Man 7 is probably the most challenging game in the series since Mega Man 2 or 3. Even with the right weapon, some of the Robot Masters are very tricky and require precise timing in order to defeat them (like that bastard Burst Man), and nearly all of them require you to be a pro in order to beat them with your regular Mega Buster weapon. Additionally, in the previous games, I was always a little disappointed in how the some of the final Dr. Wily fights were easier than some of the Robot Master fights. That is certainly not the case here, as not only are the Robot Masters a nice challenge, but you will definitely have to take your vitamins and say your prayers, Hulkamaniacs, because the final Dr. Wily fight in this game is probably the toughest boss fight in any of the Mega Man games. So Mega Man 7 made a very successful leap from the NES onto the SNES, and even though the game was given a stunning graphical makeover, it doesn't distract the challenging gameplay that attracted me to this series in the first place. One of my favorites.

MEGA MAN 8!!!

It was during Mega Man 7 that my friends and family started to take notice of my ridiculous challenge to myself. I didn't make what I was doing private, and oddly enough, I had no shame in telling people "Yeah, I've become sort of a recluse for the past week and a half and am spending most of my free time playing Mega Man". Naturally, The Big Bang Theory comparisons started to fly in towards me, and was starting to get ridiculed by those close to me. If I was still on Mega Man 3 at that time and had a feeling that defeating all these games would take months, I probably would have called it quits. At this point, however, I had far too much determination to finish The Blitzkrieg since the end was so close. After all, I had just beaten every cartridge based Mega Man game, so there has been major progress! So onwards I went onto Mega Man 8, which I was convinced was going to be the best game of the bunch. I had the highest expectations for this game, since it was released on the Sony Playstation, which would allow Capcom to release a stunning 2D platform game where the sky was the limit in terms of looks and level design. So don't get me wrong, Mega Man 8 is the most beautiful entry of the entire series and is a fun game to boot, but its errors are just as glaring as its strong points. The Playstation raised the bar on the quality of video game design, as with a disc based game, designers could include things in games that were once thought unimaginable, such as fast and fluid motion, 3D based character sprites, and bright vivid colors that were previously unseen on a home console. Other non-design related aspects could be added as well, such as fully animated videos and voice acting through the game. These aspects could be a real burden to a game if done wrong, and in Mega Man 8's case, really drag down the quality of the overall product. I don't know what was up with Capcom during the Playstation 1 years, but between this game and the Resident Evil series, they really dredged up some of the worst voice acting in all of video game history. Check out the video that plays before the first level, as it will prove my point. Bass' voice sounds horribly directed, Mega Man sounds more like a prepubescent girl than the actual prepubescent girl in the scene, and Dr. Light sounds exactly like Elmer Fudd. (Jump to 1:35) This horrible voice acting isn't only limited to the videos. All of the Robot Masters, who annoyingly taunt you through their battles, are given atrocious&oddly feminine voices. It's also funny how Rush sounds like he's constantly being castrated whenever he makes a noise. There are even some funny little Engrish translations while the characters speak in text bubbles, such as when Dr. Wily captures Mega Man and proclaims (asks?) "You can't move, can you!", or when the two are about to fight and Dr. Wily yells "Goodbye!!! Megaman!!!" The story also seems to take itself too seriously this time around, as it had to do with these robots who personified good and dark energy, and after a big battle they both come crashing down to Earth, with the plot of the game being that Mega Man has to collect all the dark energy before Wily gets his hands on it and becomes a more powerful being. It's a square peg in a round hole situation, as this series flourishes when everything is moderately light hearted and kooky, so it was a bit weird to see a serious story like this. So everything along those lines were a bit of a distracting mess, but luckily the gameplay is still quite fun. The levels are beautifully rendered in a 3D/2D mix, and even though the Robot Masters in this game aren't too memorable, they are nicely designed nonetheless. There are some interesting aspects to a few levels, such as when you hop on top of Rush during Tengu Man's stage and the game becomes an R-Type/1941 style shooter, the puzzling maze in Astro Man's stage which is followed by you running to the top of a tower while it is collapsing, and figuring out the pattern to the deathtrap floors in Clown Man's stage. One aspect, however, that drove me completely bonkers was the snowboarding during Frost Man's stage. For nearly the entire first half of the stage, you are heading downhill at blinding speeds on a snowboard and have to jump over fast approaching death pits, sometimes one right after another. You are given an audible "Jump, jump!" warning when a pit approaches, but when the pits come right after another and the warnings start to get jumbled, you will surely die numerous times unless you have the timing precisely down and jump the exact correct distance. It's a hardcore exercise in trial&error as well as controller-snapping frustration, and it doesn't help that you must do this again during one of the final Wily stages. Rush's abilities are also given a bit of a makeover in Mega Man 8, as he can either turn into a motorcycle, can carpet bomb your enemies, or provide parachute air relief with health items. It's an alright makeover, but nowhere near as cool and useful as the Voltron armor and a lot less practical than the normal Rush abilities. So to wrap up this synopsis, Mega Man 8 is without a doubt the best looking game in the series, and while the gameplay itself isn't at the top of any best-of lists, it's still fairly fun and balanced in the way that Mega Man 5 was. However, this game could be a the top of another list: worst video game voice acting. It's beyond laughable and cringe inducing, especially during the boss fights. Check out this game for decently fun gameplay and camp value.

And that's all she wrote for nearly 9 years. Mega Man 8 was moderately well received, though right after it was released, Capcom seemed to shift its focus onto other Mega Man related projects. The Mega Man X series also made the jump to Playstation and seemed to have more success than its father series, as Capcom released 3 games for the platform, and then a bunch more for the next-gen consoles. Also, the release of Mega Man 8 was right around the same time as the release of the Nintendo 64, and subsequently, Super Mario 64. Mario 64 was a landmark game in that it set nearly all the standards for 3D platforming games. Naturally, in the wake of Mario 64's popularity, all the rival video game developers tried to get their landmark characters to make the transition to 3D. Capcom was no exception, as they threw their weight behind the entirely 3D Mega Man Legends, which despite spawning a sequel and its own spin-off, the series never really caught on. Some Gameboy spin-off games were released later on, including some card battle based games that I choose to ignore. Even though Mega Man games exist in these 9 years in some way or another, the main series had remained relatively untouched. That is, until...

MEGA MAN 9!!!

It's 2008, and the video game world is vastly different than it was in 1997. We've gone from the infancy of the N64/PS1 generation to the peak of the PS3/X-Box 360/Wii generation, and now have downloadable content to either enhance a disc-based game, or to be its own smaller game. Also, we have an old generation of gamers who look upon the old 2D games with nostalgic reverence, as well as a new generation who weren't alive for the 8-bit party. Knowing its audience and the fact that the system's downloadable markets partly exist to cater to the nostalgic crowd, Capcom decided to perform an inspired and smart experiment: they would make a Mega Man game that was 100% reminiscent of the ones from the NES, complete with 8-bit graphics, a MIDI soundtrack, and everything that fans loved about the older games. It was a smart decision, because not only was it a ballsy move that caught people's attention, but old school fans would completely eat it up. Also, since the game was being programmed with ancient graphics, it would be small enough to be made into a downloadable game, thus lessening the risk if it was a poorly received disc based game. Fortunately this was not the case, as fans and critics praised Mega Man 9 for being an outstanding return to form. I downloaded this game on its release date, and should be noted that there were many years in between then and when I last played a Mega Man game, so I was absolutely terrible. While playing through, I chuckled while reminiscing about how much of a newbie I was back then, and how far I've come with my new found mad Mega Man skills. Oh, those younger and carefree days. Anyways, Capcom and Inti Creates decided to use the most popular game in the series, Mega Man 2, as a template to base this new game upon. This meant the removal of Mega Man's charged shot and baseball slide, which alone adds a good deal of difficulty to the game, especially if you found yourself using those as a crutch in the previous games. The plot of this game revives the silly and simplistic plots of the NES games of yore, as many of Dr. Light's robots are running amok, and Dr. Wily gives evidence that Dr. Light has turned evil and wants to take over the world (This, of course, leads to an INCONCEIVABLE plot twist later in the game!). The levels are all a nice challenge, and show that even though the gameplay mechanics have been pushed back to Mega Man 2, the graphics and visual designs are as vivid and interesting as they were back in Mega Man 6. There's no extraordinary graphical upgrade, just some minor improvements from 6, which especially show through in Tornado Man's rainy stage. Speaking of the Robot Masters, not only are they very memorable for the first time since the NES games, but they also make for interesting fights. Galaxy Man, a fruity looking UFO with legs, zips around the top of the stage while shooting black holes at you. In fact, when you beat him, you receive probably my favorite power in the entire series called the Black Hole Bomb, which is a slow moving projectile which you can detonate when you want and will proceed to suck in all the nearby enemies. Another very fun boss is Splash Woman, who for those keeping score at home, is the first ever female Robot Master. She is a mermaid who you fight underwater, and swims around while using her magical singing voice to call upon her piranha minions while trying to impale you with her trident. Finally, since I already beat this game before partaking in the Blitzkrieg, I decided to try out the other new addition to the Mega Man series: obtaining trophies and completing challenges. It's kind of funny when you think about it, how an old relic of video gaming such as Mega Man mixes with a modern staple such as public trophies, but it adds to the replay value tenfold. One particular challenge I accomplished was to defeat all the Robot Masters with just your Mega Buster, and while it was a bit difficult, it made for an interesting hurdle to clear. Some of the trophies are just ridiculous, however, such as the one for completing the game without getting a game over, the one for completing the game without losing a life, and the one for completing the game without getting hit a single time. I might be pretty great at these games now, but hell, even I know my limitations. So to sum up, Mega Man 9 signals a great new direction for the series to head in, as Capcom and Inti Creates made a fresh game based on something that was thought to be archaic. Thanks to nostalgia for retro-video games, new life has been breathed into Mega Man.

MEGA MAN 10!!!

Here we are, ladies and gentlemen, the grand finale! We've seen a lot of Mega Man action through his previous 9 adventures, but here's where the Great Mega Man Blitzkrieg starts to apply its brakes...the recently released Mega Man 10! I mentioned that I lost a bit of my steam while playing Mega Man 4, but being as this signified the end of my crazy personal mission, I was once again hoped up on geeky adrenaline just like when I started this whole madness! I had a feeling kind of like when a jogger sprints to the finish line, or when a mother lifts a car to free their child. I was ready to make this game my bitch. While downloading, I had a hard time speculating what kind of improvements or additions will be made here. It's not like many graphical changes were going to be made, and from what I previously heard, the control scheme was going to be the same as it was in Mega Man 9. Shortly into playing, however, I saw what was added to the proceedings: sheer absurdity. I had previously mentioned how all of the Mega Man games have a subtle kookiness about them, though it was for the most part unintentional and rarely crossed the line into downright nuttiness. Since the newer Mega Man games pay tribute to the old NES games as well as continuing their standards, both these games not only have a campy feel, but the campiness is raised to a ridiculous and very funny level. I'm not normally a fan of artificial camp (like when someone tries to make a parody of an old 50's sci-fi B movie ala Lost Skeleton of Cadavara), but in this case, the incredibly kooky aspects mix in well and make for an all around authentic experience. Both games have pretty funny cutscenes which feature poorly spaced out text scrolls and funny uses of the limited animations of the character sprites, and also have "box art" which parodies the boxes of Mega Man 1 and 2, in which the character depicted on the box looks absolutely nothing like the ones in the game. but Mega Man 10 takes the cakes for featuring the best and funniest Robot Master line-up in the entire series. There is Strike Man, a giant walking baseball who throws fastballs and himself at you. There is Blade Man, a giant walking kitana with two kitanas for arms. There was Pump Man, who is a robotic ancient pump with a lever on his head and a nozzle for an arm, and shoots water by holding out his nozzle arm and manually pumps his own head. There's Chill Man, who straight up had a giant icicle covering his head. I'd love to put up pictures of all these bosses to showcase their absurd greatness, but in order to conserve space, I've decided to show the greatest of them all: Sheep Man. You heard me right. Sheep Man. Wait until I tell you what he does...he throws up his wool into the air, which then shoot out lightning bolts. So yeah, the Robot Master character designs reek of awesomeness this time around. The fights themselves are also a lot of fun, since just like the best Mega Man games, not only is the right weapon needed, but the right strategy as well. The levels are as fresh as always, and just like the last game, a couple of little gimmicks are added, such as the need to run on a conveyor belt to generate power that activates these platforms that stay on for a limited time, or how a sandstorm routinely blocks the entire screen and pushes you towards potential traps during Commando Man's stage, or how you have to dodge oncoming high-speed truck traffic during Nitro Man's stage. So to close the book on the final game in The Great Mega Man Blitzkrieg, I can't recommend Mega Man 10 enough to people. I know I've said this about a couple of the previous games, but I highly believe that this is one of the best games in the series. Not only does it have f'n Sheep Man, but it includes awesome boss fights, interesting inclusions to the standard Mega Man level design, and best of all, the best humor out of any game in this series.

Done. After kicking the crap out of Dr. Wily in deep space at the end of Mega Man 10, I was finally done. Every single main game of the Mega Man series, a series considered by many to be the hardest of all video games, has been vanquished by me! No player guides, no walkthroughs, and no cheats. Just me, my controller, and some mad old-school gaming skills! Sorry if I seem a bit boastful, but this whole experience has made me happy during a time in my life that is perpetually in a downward spiral, and I'm glad that something good has come of it, as trivial and geeky as it may be.

So what did I learn about Mega Man from this whole experience? For one thing, I find it funny how through the years, Mega Man has changed drastically in what the games represent. During the NES era, the Mega Man games had constantly striven towards being the most graphically advanced game on the market. In many ways, it can be said at those times, Mega Man represented the future. Nowadays, since the release of Mega Man 9 and 10, he represents the polar opposite, as he now is the poster boy for nostalgic video games. One can look at the recent releases and dismiss them on the grounds that the series is making negative progress, but that isn't necessarily true. The 8-bit graphics in the new games aren't a regression, but part of the evolution of what Mega Man has become: a partial outlet for campiness. Due to the success of these later games and his new status as king of the old-school, it's unlikely that we will ever see a Mega Man with state-of-the-art graphics again. It suits me fine, however, as I don't care how they dress up the series, just as long as the challenging gameplay never changes. I doubt that it is ever going to, though, as this aspect is probably the most integral part of any Mega Man game, so as long as they keep cranking them out, I'll keep playing them. As for my favorite Mega Man games of the series, I will have to give the top 3 spots to Mega Man 2, Mega Man 7, and Mega Man 10. There were a lot of NES Mega Man games that were well rounded, but I think that Mega Man 2 nailed it the best. The game overall was difficult yet not frustrating, the music score was to die for, and is just an all around classic. Mega Man 7 proves that this series can have legs no matter how you dress it up, as it is not only one of the most challenging of the games, but one of the best looking, as well. 7 also had a big emphasis on exploration and hidden areas containing great secrets, and I wish that this aspect was used more often. Plus, you can't go wrong with that Rush Voltron armor! Finally, Mega Man 10 is a highly successful attempt to recapture the glory days of the series, and provides us with some of the funniest campy moments and the coolest Robot Master crew.

And finally, what did I learn about myself? For one thing, I learned how much I value my geeky pride, and how much stock I put into knowing that I can outplay most of the people who find this series impossible. I'm not normally the boastful kind, but I'm very happy that whenever someone talks about Mega Man, I can be like "Oh yeah, those games? Totally beat them all, completely unassisted. It ain't no thang :)". It's life's little victories, after all, that make life worth living at times. More importantly, however, I learned how I can be much more committed to a cause than I thought possible, which can be a great attribute to use in the future. Perhaps I can commit myself to write more articles for this site again, among other things. Additionally, this sense of commitment has made myself realize that I can stay 100% focused on finding a new job, and that I can stay strong through this tough time and any others that bitch called life will throw my way.

See? I knew I can walk away with a great life lesson from sitting on my ass for two weeks straight playing video games. Your mother was wrong.
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Chris Powers is happy to be the proud recipient of the P.h.D of Video Gaming, and hopefully will get a framed degree to hang next to my legit Bachelor's of Electrical Engineering degree. Two huge life accomplishments hanging together. If you were surprised that he can write this much about a topic like Mega Man, then you have obviously never read his Twitter.

Cult of Midnight Cinema #1: Night Of The Living Dead

Mon, 12 Apr 2010 00:17:34 GMT

by: comicBOOKchris
Welcome to the first meeting of The Cult Of Midnight Cinema! For our first night of rituals, we shall bare witness to the father of zombie movies and indy cinema: Night Of The Living Dead!

"They're coming to get you, Barbara!"

Welcome, one and all, to the birth of The Cult of Midnight Cinema! As the high priest of...no wait, I can think of a better title for myself than that...as First Deadly Venom of this new cult, I ask all of you to join me, as I worship the best of cult cinema, B-movies, and all around incredible movies! Who knows, it's highly possible that you're already a member. Do you regularly go to a Sunoco at 11:30 at night to stock up on beef jerky, pints of Ben&Jerry's and other junk food to take home to chow down on while watching an incredibly trashy movie? Have you ever planned your night around seeing special midnight screenings, ranging from incredible classics like The Thing and Rocky Horror Picture Show to horrible schlock-fests like The Room? Do you worship Bruce Campbell or Lloyd Kaufman? If you answered yes, not only are you already a full fledged member, but you get exactly what this cult is about. We're here to not only worship these incredibly unique movies, but also the rebel filmmakers behind them. Whether the final product is a well written and thought provoking experience or a silly schlock fest, all these midnight movies have the same thing in common: They're all incredibly fun! There are so many midnight movies that I would love to expose to my devoted followers, so picking the first one was a tough task. So for our inaugural meeting, I have decided to go with a title that everyone has at least heard of: the father of all zombie movies, Night of the Living Dead!

Now before we talk about the flick, I should let you know that our rituals aren't going to be as easy as just popping in the DVD into your player. Sacrifices must be made by all of us upon each meeting. This is a cult after all! Upon each meeting, everyone of you is required to make a Gastronomical Sacrifice, in which you will cram your face with the junk food of your choice while viewing our selected flick. Any type of junk food will be acceptable, from microwaveable burritos from the gas station to a large #4 from McDonalds to a 4 gallon tub of gummi bears. Get creative! Tonight, I'm going with my standby: a bag of Terriyaki beef jerky and two of those huge 99 cent Arizona Iced Tea cans, one regular and the other green tea (Hey, I get really thirsty! Don't make fun of your leader!). Besides, what a better way to celebrate watching a movie about zombies eating flesh than chowing down on some jerky? Themes, people!

So if you haven't seen our feature yet, don't fret! You can either the physical DVD and watch it on your TV (Do NOT get the 30th Anniversary edition, it re-edits and chops up scenes!), or you can watch it right here! Because the movie is public domain, it has been uploaded legally onto YouTube with great quality. So if you haven't seen this yet, watch it while performing your Gastronomical Sacrifices, and we'll discuss below...

...Finished? Shit, wasn't that great?!

While Night Of The Living Dead wasn't the first ever zombie movie, it was the start of the cinematic zombies as we know them today. Before this, zombies were entirely different creatures. Movies like the classic Bela Lugosi cheesefest White Zombie had a voodoo zombie master who would place a spell over some unsuspecting living victims which would render them into his mindless slaves, who would perform his every command. In Night Of The Living Dead, horror god George Romero wrote these creatures in a completely different way: while they were still relatively mindless monsters, they have become reanimated corpses who operate on only the most animalistic instincts, chief among those is the urge to eat fresh-blooded bodies (Flesh, brains, both...whatever part of the human they're after varies from movie to movie). The zombies also have no master and aren't resurrected primarily by magic, but usually by some horrible science related accident. As you will have noticed, Night Of The Living Dead briefly delves into what could have caused the zombie resurrection during the TV news broadcast, but finding and combating this cause isn't the main focus of this flick. Instead, we get the story of seven ordinary people who get caught in the middle of the zombie breakout and try to set up a fort in a remote rural house. This set-up allows for some great character moments to shine through, as the focus of the movie isn't only to see some good old fashioned zombie bashing and repelling, but also to see these characters, whose tempers and sanity range, react to the stress of the zombie outbreak and plan how they are going to survive.

Notable interactions include our hero Ben (who, in the beginning, sports the most bitching heroic cardigan) and the primary non-zombie antagonist Mr. Cooper, who clash throughout the entire film over how they are going to defend themselves against the imposing zombie doom. Another wonderful character-driven scene happens right after Ben and leading lady Barbara first meet in the house, while Ben prepares to barricade the doors and windows. Both characters tell their backstories involving how they got to this point in time, and while doing so, give the audience a detailed picture of their traits. Ben, despite experiencing the horrors of the zombie invasion, shook off the initial shock and tries to remain quick witted and resourceful against the threat. Barbara, on the other hand, has a much more frail psyche and thus can't keep her composure like Ben does. We follow her from the opening credits as she visits a cemetery with her brother, and see as she quickly descends into madness after she witnesses a zombie murder her brother, who then chases her into the house where she sees blood dripping from many places and then finds a partially eaten corpse. While talking in this scene with Ben, we see that she pretty much has completely lost her grip on sanity, and then proceeds to break into hysterics. This character driven formula is something that many horror filmmakers try and use in their own films with varying degrees of success. The reason why it works so well here is because there is always a sense of immediate danger stemming from the ever increasing zombie horde, and that the character scenes are balanced out with some tense action scenes. The actors, in typical midnight movie style, are all unknowns that Romero picked up from his native town of Pittsburgh. Though if we're going to learn anything from our time together in this cult, it's that the unknowns can always come from the dark and deliver a riveting performance (even though at times, said delivery can be a bit campy). Everyone in this movie puts on a great performance, as their terror and reactions come off as very real. Kudos go out to Duane Jones, who plays Ben, for playing the assertive heroic leader so well. Judith O'Dea also deserves special recognition for her role as Barbara, as she played the crazy role very realistically, as this type of role can cause actors to appear either highly corny or annoying if not played right.

The biggest props, however, go to director (and one of the many gods of the Cult Of Midnight Cinema) George Romero. Night Of The Living Dead is a champion of not only horror movies, but of all independent movies for showing what Romero can do with a budget of only about $100,000. Despite the shoestring budget, Romero is in no way a minimalist, and displays many visceral scenes using many independent filmmaker tricks and techniques. Perhaps best of these techniques is during the zombie horde scenes, which are grainy and shadowy without it being totally obscuring and dark. Make no mistake, I think Romero's use of shadows in this movie is the best I've ever seen. Not only does it give the entire film that old dirty Grindhouse feel ala Texas Chainsaw Massacre, but it makes the oncoming zombie horde look that much scarier. If this were shot clearer, the zombies would probably look a bit silly, since the make-up doesn't have the level of sophistication as Romero's follow-up in the series, Dawn Of The Dead. The best scene that highlights these techniques is definitely the cannibalism scene. Like I mentioned, Romero is in no way a minimalist, and shows the zombies chomping down on human meat in all its glory. With the graininess and shadows, however, the scene gives off an even more harrowing and creepy effect. So Romero makes some great directorial choices here to make this little production into the crazy flick that it is known for today. He was also half of the scriptwriting team, and not only wrote a tense and interesting script filled with action and strong character scenes, but also one of the most shocking and haunting end sequences I've ever seen. Make no mistake, if this movie doesn't shock you through its running time, the ending will really get you to feel something.

So I hope that everyone enjoyed the first meeting of The Cult Of Midnight Cinema, and I'm looking forward to seeing everyone's discussion on the film. If you haven't watched it yet, steer clear of the comments, as it will be a total spoiler zone. Also, let us know what junk food you chowed down upon for your Gastronomical Sacrifice! At our next meeting, we will bear witness to the midnight movie with possibly the biggest ever cult, The Rocky Horror Picture Show. So get cracking on getting that DVD, or go to the many midnight showings of it that are all over the country. Peace be onto you, fellow midnight cretins!

Rocky Horror Picture Show: A Cult of Midnight Cinema call to arms!

Thu, 15 Apr 2010 20:29:59 GMT

by: comicBOOKchris
Snag a copy of the Rocky Horror Picture Show, because for our next Cult of Midnight Movies meeting, we're going to discuss the sweet transvestites from Transsexual Transylvania!

First off, I'd like to thank everyone who read and participated in the first Cult of Midnight Cinema meeting! If you haven't yet, you can both discuss AND watch our first movie, Night Of The Living Dead right here! I hope to get alot more followers in my new cult as time goes on, from those who frequent midnight movies and regularly watch cult films, to those who are completely new to these. Expansion is the key!

So after the gloom and doom of Night Of The Living Dead, I thought that we should go for something a little more fun for our next ritual...and I have just the flick! Not only is our next movie arguably the biggest cult hit of all time, but it encompasses everything that the Cult of Midnight Movies stands for. I'm talking, of course, about The Rocky Horror Picture Show! So run to your nearest videostore, drag this to the top of your Netflix queue, or even go to one of the many midnight screenings they have for this movie all over the country, because in two weeks, we're going to do the Time Warp and talk all things Tim Curry and Rocky Horror! For those that haven't seen it yet, click on the floating lips below for the preview. See you in two weeks, midnight cretins!

Wrestling Recap: TNA Impact 4/19/10

Tue, 20 Apr 2010 22:34:04 GMT

by: comicBOOKchris
New series! I get back into the world of wrestling with TNA Impact and bring you a recap of the night's events, including the crowning of a new champion!

I used to love wrestling. When I was in middle and high school, the highlights of my week were when the various wrestling shows were on TV. There was WWF Monday Night Raw, then WWF Smackdown on Thursdays, ECW on Fridays and late Saturday night, and the monthly Pay Per Views for both WWF and ECW (for awhile, the only way to see ECW was on the Pay Per Views). Yeah, I knew the matches and confrontations were all scripted, but it was still highly entertaining to me for a number of reasons. I loved the showmanship and charisma of the wrestlers, the high intensity and crazy moves that they pulled off (even though some of them were highly improbable), and the overall anarchist and wild west attitude towards everything, where if two big headed and posturing guys were having a spat, nothing would keep them from getting into an all out brawl to settle their differences. I rode the wave that was my love of wrestling for awhile, but that wave started to slowly ebb. It started in 2001 when ECW, the company that I grew to love even moreso than the WWF, went bankrupt and shut its doors. Not too long after this, WWF (soon to be changed to the WWE for legal reasons) was the only game in town, as they acquired the rights to ECW and their more prominent rival, WCW. Sure, alot of my favorite wrestlers were still around and kicking ass, but around my senior year of high school, I became a bit less interested then I previously was. After going to college, where I didn't have a TV for a good chunk of the time, I straight up forgot about the world of professional wrestling and never looked back. It's been a number of years since I actively watched any sort of wrestling on television, though I've recently became curious about the current state of the wrestling world after some nostalgic conversations with my brother, as well as watching some classic matches on YouTube which excited me just as much as the first time I watched them live. I figured I still loved wrestling, but just wasn't impressed with the product like I was 10 years ago. So last week, I sat down and watched my first WWE Monday Night Raw in many years, and walked away as unimpressed as I was when I stopped watching. However, I decided give wrestling one more shot, and this week decided to sit down and watch the newer kids in town: Total Nonstop Action Wrestling (TNA). After perusing the roster on their website and seeing some familiar and favorite faces from ECW, WWE and WCW, as well as some fresh faces that my wrestling fan friends have mentioned to me, I thought that this could be a fun experience that can possibly rekindle my love of pro wrestling. After watching this weeks TNA Impact!, I'm not entirely sure yet if I'm fully back on the bandwagon yet, but I'll say this: I have had more fun watching wrestling tonight than I have had in many years.

Allow me to set the stage before we get into the recap of tonight's episode. On screen, TNA is being run by bigwig Eric Bischoff, who is notable for being the on-screen head of WCW in its heyday. The big marquee topping feud going on right now is between veterans Hulk Hogan and Ric Flair, who have both became popular when I was a baby. They both have stables of young protege wrestlers at their command, aptly named Team Hogan and Team Flair. Now I'm a simple and normally non-judgmental man, but come on, those are some pretty weak group names! Why couldn't they go for a nice catchy name like D-Generation X, the Nation of Domination, or even fricken Hulkamania?! But I digress...it's possible that these guys have more of a loose association to each other and aren't infact a tight-knit group, so I'll let the weak names slide. Hogan, who is the good guy (babyface), has the following wrestlers who pledge allegiance to him: the monstrous masked-man known as Abyss, the guitar smashing southern boy (and TNA co-founder) Jeff Jarrett, the highly acrobatic and stoned-out-of-his-mind Rob Van Dam, the big Welsh hulking powerhouse Rob Terry, and the high-flying freakshow Jeff Hardy. Flair, who is the bad guy (heel), commands the following: the intense face painted veteran known as Sting, Robert Roode and James Storm, who make up the good ol' boy and beer bottle smashing tag team known as Beer Money, the cocky British upstart Desmond Wolfe, and Flair's top pupil, the World Heavyweight champion, The Phenomenal AJ Styles. The last big match between the two factions was during the last TNA Pay Per View, Lockdown, which aired this Sunday. It was a 10 man tag team match in a steel cage, which was won after Eric Bischoff decided to side with Team Hogan and threw Hogan some brass knuckles, which were used to knock the lights out of Flair. And now, 24 hours after TNA Lockdown, we enter the Impact Zone...

We start out the show with the World Heavyweight Champion, AJ Styles, walking out to the ring looking like a pretty boy in his expensive yet tight fitting suit. The crowd is giving him alot of heat and are booing the crap out of him, as well as chanting "AJ SUCKS!". The fans are all pissed at him after his cheap win during his title defense at TNA Lockdown, in which he jabbed a pen into the eye of his opponent, "The Pope" D'angelo Dinero. AJ gets to the ring, grabs the mic and starts giving the cocky heel speech that the bad guys give to piss off the fans, bragging about how he is the workhorse behind TNA and is the best wrestler that ever graced this company's presence. But then music starts to play out out comes The Whole F'n Show and one of my all-time favorite wrestlers, Rob Van Dam, to a monstrous applause. He gets in AJ's face and tells him "You might be a great wrestler, but you don't impress me, dude!" Right when it got to the point where RVD and Styles were breathing on each others faces, out comes freakfaced Jeff Hardy to jump onto the "diss Styles" bandwagon. After Hardy's shpiel, we hear the badass nWo theme come onto the speakers, and out comes Hulk Hogan! Instead of verbally bashing Styles like how RVD and Hardy was just doing, he goes onto congratulate him and laud him for his immense talent. Hogan also reminisces about his time as a World Heavyweight champion through the years, and how its great to hold the belt since it gets you respect from the guys in the locker room, attention from all the ladies, and the nice big paychecks. However, he says that to be the champion, you constantly need to prove that you're the best in the business, and that he's going to make Styles prove his worth as a champ. After that statement, Hogan announced that, tonight on Impact, Jeff Hardy and RVD will be competing for a shot at Styles' championship belt! This set Styles into a hissyfit, and said that he will not have enough time to face the #1 contender at the next Pay Per View. Hogan tells him not to worry, because he won't have to face him at the Pay Per View...Styles will have to defend the title tonight! And there we have our main event!

And now we go into our first match of the night...

TNA Knockouts Tag Team Match: Daffney&ODB vs. The Beautiful People (Lacey Von Erich&Velvet Sky)(champs)

Our first match of the night is for the Women's Tag Team Belts, but since the women wrestlers in TNA are called Knockouts, the belts are aptly called the Knockouts Tag Team Belts. The defending champs are The Beautiful People, who consist of the picturesque models Lacey Von Erich and Velvet Sky, and are accompanied to the ring by fellow Beautiful Person and Knockouts Champion, Madison Rayne. The opponents are ODB, who is a big butch girl who seems to be a wild and unpredictable contender, and Daffney, a black clad goth girl (who happens to be the love of my life! :)). This is a pretty decent match, as these girls seemed to know how to actually wrestle and not just pull hair and slap, which is sadly what wrestling fans are used to seeing a good chunk of the time. In the end, though, we get a dirty win, as when ODB had pinned Sky, the referee was distracted by Von Erich. Raye took this opportunity to get in the ring and blind ODB's eyes with hair spray, which then lead to her being pinned by Sky for the win.

The winners, and still TNA Knockouts Tag Team Champions, The Beautiful People!

Right after the match, we jump to backstage where Jeremy Borash, TNA's main backstage interviewer, is on camera. He performs some crafty investigative journalism and sticks the camera right outside of AJ Styles' locker room, where the door is ajar. Styles is bitching to his mentor, Ric Flair, about what an unfair position that Hogan placed him in. Flair says not to worry, as he's sure that Styles can beat either RVD or Hardy at the end of the night. However, Flair himself is sore over the lost match at Lockdown, and demands a rematch with Team Hogan. It was here that Borash emerges from the shadows and questions Flair about the rematch, and Flair looks at the camera and gives the members of Team Hogan five minutes to accept this challenge. What he will do if they don't respond, I have no idea. Nevertheless, a challenge has been made!

After the commercials, we see two of the members of Team Hogan, Abyss and Jeff Jarrett, come down to the ring. The monster Abyss, as intimidating as ever, grabs the mic and starts berating Team Flair. He yells that since they already kicked their asses at Lockdown, they would have no problem doing again tonight, though there's the problem that two of the Team Hogan members, RVD and Jeff Hardy, are already in competition tonight. Ric Flair then comes out with his posse of Sting, Beer Money and Desmonde Wolfe, and is visibly pissed at the trash talk that Abyss is spewing. So he sicks his goons on Abyss and Jarrett. Everyone bum rushes the ring to attack, except for Sting, initially, who silently stalks the ring from the entrance way. Eventually, however, Sting runs up with his trusty baseball bat and makes short work of the two Team Hogan members. Shortly after this, however, the Global champion Rob Terry comes to the rescue, manhandling and chokeslaming every member of Team Flair. Annoyed, Flair continues to make his endless barrage of threats out of the ring, but is interrupted by a sneaky Eric Bischoff. Bischoff tells Flair that he will indeed get a rematch tonight, as it will give him great pleasure to see his team get embarrassed again. Additionally, in RVD and Jeff Hardy's place will be Rob Terry and a mystery opponent! I wonder who it will be!

After another set of commercials, we cut to backstage, where the TNA Tag Team Champions, Matt Morgan, is lurking. Yes, you read that right. Both of the Tag Team Champion belts are being held by one dude. I'm curious to see how the scenario played out in how he won the tag titles, but that's for another day. Tonight, he's approaching Shannon Moore, a hardcore punk who is sitting on a crate reading his own personal Bible, The Book Of Dilligaf. Morgan tells more that "TNA Management is forcing us to defend the tag team titles against Team 3D (formerly the Dudley Boys, my favorite tag team of all time) on next week's Impact, and we need a partner. So why don't you join us next week?" Good to know that Morgan's ego is big enough to form an imaginary tag team partner. Moore, however is uninterested, as next week he has a shot at the X Division championship belt (which is the belt that alot of the newer and younger guys go for). Moore says that the Book of Dilligaf is telling him that Morgan and his huge ego can kiss his punk tattooed ass, and walks away. Morgan, not pleased at all, says during an extreme close-up "Big mistake, punk...big mistake!"

We then cut to Hogan and Bischoff backstage, where both men are having a friendly chat and are talking about how excited they are to see Team Flair get walloped again. Hogan asks if Bischoff is sure that the mystery member of Team Hogan will appear, and Bischoff tells him not to worry. Hogan then asks, in an equally cryptic way, about some new ranking system that will determine contenders for the TNA World Heavyweight Championship. Bischoff tells him that everything is in place, and that he's going to debut it on next week's Impact. Bischoff then yells out "MISS TESSCHMACHER!", and out comes a beautiful short secretary with a booty that can be used as a shelf. Bischoff asks her to bring Mr. Hogan the files on the new ranking system, where then Miss Tessmacher asks "Is it in the brown thingy, or the green thingy?" and Bischoff replies "...the green thingy." After she walks away and both men get a good look at her leaving, Hogan gives Bischoff an odd look, to which Bischoff replies "What? She takes excellent dictation." The look on Hogan's face perfectly mirrored my reaction, as that is more about Eric Bischoff than I ever cared to know.

We now follow Rob Van Dam as he's walking to the ring while taping up his hands. He says that he has no problems facing his friend, Jeff Hardy, as they both understand that this is the chance of a lifetime and will not affect their friendship one iota. What he will do, however, is prove to the world that he is The Whole F'N Show, ROB. VAN. DAM! (It's more effective and dramatic when you see him doing his taunt while saying that). Which leads us to out next match...

#1 Contender Match: Rob Van Dam vs. Jeff Hardy

Rob Van Dam and Jeff Hardy both enter the ring to a thunderous applause, as the fans know that they are going to get a hell of a show. Both contenders are knows for their high flying and high risk maneuvers, so this is going to be a hell of a match to watch. Both men shake hands, and start out the match by trying to take each other down with some actual Grecco Roman Wrestling maneuvers. This soon evolves into a fast paced brawl, with both men trading blows and narrowly escaping each others moves. Eventually, RVD catches Hardy's leg, from which Hardy counters with an Enziguri. The fight then spills out to the side of the ring, where RVD knocks out Hardy and plants him on top of the guardrail that separates the audience from ringside. RVD then climbs back onto the ring and jumps off, nailing Hardy with a twisting leg drop! RVD then throws Hardy back into the ring, but lets his head hang outside and performs another devastating leg drop! As Hardy gets back onto his feet, RVD jumps back into the ring with a high flying cross body slam, but only gets a 2 count. From here on out, RVD and Hardy continue to trade blows and impressive moves. Eventually, after Hardy nailed RVD with a devastating suplex, Hardy goes to the top rope to perform his signature move, the Swanton Bomb. RVD gets up just in time though, and delivers a spinning wheel kick to Hardy on the top rope! RVD them climbs the turnbuckle as well to perform a suplex off the top rope, but Hardy knocks him down. Everything is in place now, so Hardy flips off the top rope with the Swanton Bomb, but RVD rolls out of the way just in time! As Hardy is writhing with agony on the mat, RVD capitalizes on the situation by jumping onto the top rope and performs his own Signature move, the Five Star Frog Splash! He connects, gets the cover and the three count for the win! Rob Van Dam wins, and is facing AJ Styles for the World Heavyweight Championship for the main event! What a great match this was!

The winner, and #1 contender, Rob Van Dam!

After more commercials, we see Rob Van Dam and Jeff Hardy being interviewed backstage. Both men, while watching highlights from their match, stress the fact that they are as tight as ever, and that both men are going to support each other no matter what happens. Camaraderie, people!

We then cut to the locker room, where Abyss is hyping everyone up for the upcoming 8-man tag team match. He also thanks Rob Terry for making the save, in which Terry said it was no problem, and he was inspired by Hogan to step up his game and show everyone what The Freak is all about (Gettin' freaky!).

So now we get to the 8-Man tag team match. Here's the rules: The match is going to start out with just two opponents, who will duke it out by themselves with a timer counting down. When the clock reaches zero, a member of Team Flair will come out to the ring, and then a member of Team Hogan after another countdown. This repeats until all the members are in the ring. So here we go!

8-Man Tag Team Match: Team Flair (Sting, Beer Money Inc., and Desmonde Wolfe) vs. Team Hogan (Jeff Jarrett, Abyss, Rob Terry, and ?)

Sting starts things out for Team Flair, but doesn't even get to the ring before Jeff Jarrett jumps him from behind. The two men are having a street fight in the stands even before the bell is rung. The two men then continue to beat each other with chairs and throw each other into walls, when finally, Sting gets the best of Jarrett by picking him up dropping him onto the audience guardrail neck first. Sting the rolls Jarrett into the ring and soon follows him in. Sting continues to pound Jarrett's face in and goes for the Stinger Splash, but Jarrett rolls out of the way just in time. After trading a few more blows, both men accidentally clothesline each other, and both contenders lay dazed in the middle of the ring as the timer reaches zero.

3...2...1...

Desmonde Wolfe rushes to the ring, hurrying along his female valet. Sting reaches Wolfe for the tag, and he starts to beat down a tired Jarrett. Wolfe is clearly outmaneuvering Jarrett, but Jarrett manages to keep slipping away before any permanent damage is done. This cycle continues until the timer reaches zero...

3...2...1...

And out comes the hulking Welsh Freak Rob Terry, who Jarrett manages to crawl to and get the tag. Terry makes short work out of Wolfe, as he starts powerslamming the crap out of him. Sting even tries to interfere, but Terry is able to stave him off by knocking him down with a clothesline.

We then cut to a commercial break (I HATE when they do that during a match!), and see that Abyss and Robert Roode of Beer Money have both joined their respective teams, and are currently brawling in the ring. Roode seems to be no problem for Abyss, as the monster nails a nice chokeslam and then continued to pummel him in the middle of the ring. As this is happening, the timer reaches zero...

3...2...1...

Out comes Roode's tag team partner, James Storm in his trademark cowboy hat, who interferes by kicking Abyss' head in. Roode manages get get Abyss down for a moment by connecting with a flying neckbraker off the middle rope, and then tags Storm in. Storm gets a few blows on a dazed Abyss, but when Storm tries to run at him, Abyss catches him out of nowhere and throws him down for a powerful side slam. Both men are down now, and crawl to their corners where Storm tags Wolfe in, and Jarrett tags himself in by slapping Abyss' back. Things get ugly very fast, however, as both members of Beer Money come in to assist Wolfe and triple team on Jarrett. They end up whipping Jarrett into the corner, and then attempt to throw Stom into him for a flying body splash. Jarrett gets out of the way at the last second, however, causing Storm to crash into the turnbuckle! Jarrett even manages to take down both Roode and Wolfe with a double clothesline, at which time the timer counted down to zero, and we are about to see who the mystery partner of Team Hogan is!

3...2...1...

It's Samoa Joe!! Back from an extended leave of absence, Samoa Joe walks down to the ring to a thunderous applause, as he is one of the most talented and popular upstarts in TNA. Joe then tags himself in by slapping Jarrett's back, and proceeds to annihilate every member of Team Flair by himself. Joe starts dishing out brutal suplexes left and right to every single member, and then grabs the legal man, Roode, and finishes him off with his Finishing Move, the Muscle Buster. Joe gets the 3 count, and Team Hogan wins with the explosive return of Samoa Joe!

The winners of this match, the team of Jeff Jarret, Abyss, Rob Terry and Samoa Joe, Team Hogan!

Samoa Joe doesn't stick around to celebrate with the rest of his teammates, and heads straight back to the locker room after getting the pin fall. While the remaining members of Team Hogan are basking in the spotlight, Ric Flair comes out to rain on everyone's parade, and is more pissed off than ever. He bitches that this loss meant nothing, and that he refuses to accept defeat. In fact, Flair singles out Abyss, and points out the Hall of Fame Ring that Hogan gave to Abyss as an inspirational present. Flair said that the ring meant nothing to him, and that Flair has a Hall of Fame ring of his own that he earned himself. In fact, a challenge was made for a singles match on next week's Impact, where Flair will put his ring on the line and Abyss will put Hogan's up. Abyss accepts the challenge, and it looks like we have another match for next week!

Right after that confrontation, we then head right into the Main Event!

TNA Heavyweight Title Match: Rob Van Dam vs. AJ Styles (champ)

Despite already wrestling in a high octane match against Jeff Hardy, RVD doesn't look phased at all for this match. My former ECW guys are real troopers! It's a good thing too, since AJ Styles is certainly not the one to be taken lightly. Even though he acts like a cocky prick, Styles is in fact right with his claims that he is one of the hardest working and most talented guys in TNA. Being as that both Styles and RVD are at the top of their games tonight, we are in for one hell of a match tonight! Styles doesn't even wait for the bell to ring, however, and immediately bum rushes RVD as he enters the ring with a barrage of punches. Styles then throws RVD out of the ring, and then proceeds to run and jump onto the top rope and perform a crazy flip onto RVD outside the ring! Styles then throws RVD back into the ring, and continued to dominate him with many moves and blows. One thing he did in particular was to try and wrench one of RVD's legs out of its socket, and continued to attack it. Thinking that he took RVD's leg out of commission, Styles put him in the corner and ran at him to perform a splash, to which RVD countered with a boot to the face. After that, the match went back and forth, with RVD getting a close 2 count after hitting Styles with a devastating monkey flip, and Styles continuing to work on RVD's leg by locking him into the Figure 4 leglock. RVD managed to escape from this by surprisingly rolling Styles up into a pin, but again was only able to get a 2 count. After trading a few more blows, Styles sets RVD up for his Finishing Move, the Styles Clash, to which RVD countered and threw him outside the ring. Styles, quick to his feet, rebounded and tried to hit a leaping top rope splash from outside the ring, but RVD caught him and delivered a back shattering powerbomb! Ever the opportunist, RVD hopped to the top rope and nailed Styles with a Five Star Frog Splash! We got a cover, and a 1, 2, 3! Holy shit, is this for real?! RVD has just dethroned AJ Styles as the World Heavyweight Champion!

The winner, and NEW TNA World Heavyweight Champion...ROB...VAN...DAM!!!

Confetti streams down from the ceiling, and RVD is ecstatically celebrating in the ring, while Styles looks on from outside the ring in sorrow. We then get a big chunk of the TNA roster coming out to the ring to congratulate RVD, including Hulk Hogan, Jeff Hardy, and Team 3D. Everyone shakes hands and hugs him, and then Team 3D hoists RVD onto their shoulders to elevate their new king! It's an intense and great memorable moment, and I am glad to have seen it on my first episode of Impact!

Watching tonight's TNA Impact, I felt the excitement that I haven't felt for a long time when watching wrestling. There's a great roster of talented and charismatic guys, including some of my all-time favorites. I can totally see myself getting sucked back into wrestling again by watching TNA. So join me again next week, as it's looking like we're in for a great show, including a tag team championship match with Team 3D and an X Division Title Shot, which I hear are always exciting. See you all next time: Same Murmur time, same Murmur channel!

Cult Of Midnight Cinema #2: Rocky Horror Picture Show

Tue, 27 Apr 2010 16:08:04 GMT

by: comicBOOKchris
Throw open the switches on the Sonic Oscillator! It's time for the next meeting of the Cult Of Midnight Cinema! Tonight, we're talking about the biggest cult film of all time, Rocky Horror Picture Show! So take that jump to the left and that step to the right and join in on the discussion!

So...come up to the lab, and see what's on the slab!

Throw open the switches on the Sonic Oscillator! It's time for tonight's meeting of the Cult Of Midnight Cinema! I'm Chris Powers, the First Deadly Venom of this fantastic following of feverish fanatics, and I've gathered all you midnight cretins here to worship the best in cult, midnight, and B movies from various points in history and the world! Now for all of you joining the cult for the first time, I'm going to use my telekinetic powers bestowed upon me from the Midnight Movie Gods to read your minds and answer the question all you newbies have: what makes a midnight cult movie? That answer is simple: a certain charm that is so memorable and unique that the film develops a cult-like fanbase through the years. Each midnight movie is unique from each other and makes its mark to stand out in this world of celluloid conformity. They can start as mainstream attempts like The Big Lebowski or small budget independent affairs like The Toxic Avenger. They can be old classics like The Curse Of Frankenstein or more modern outings like Battle Royale. They can be box office bombs like the Rocky Horror Picture Show or huge successes like Ghostbusters. Big or small, good or bad, each of these movies have a devoted cult who fill up the theaters at midnight to see them for the billionth time.

We had our inaugural cult meeting two weeks ago when we watched Night Of The Living Dead, and right after that, I announced our next movie, the sci-fi/horror/rock musical known as the Rocky Horror Picture Show. So I hope all you midnight cretins did your homework and watched this, as we're going to be taking that jump to the left and that step to the right tonight while discussing this!

Before we get started, however, we must make our sacrifice. I speak of course, of the Gastronomical Sacrifice that we must all make, in which we stockpile on the junk food that is required to ingest while watching these films late at night. Any type of junk food will be acceptable, from microwaveable burritos from the gas station to a large #4 from McDonalds to a 4 gallon tub of gummi bears. Get creative! This week, I decided to head to my local 7-11 for junk food and walked out with: 1) A Super Big Gulp of Coke with vanilla and cherry syrup, 2) a terriyaki jerky stick, and 3) A Don Miguel Bomb microwavable burrito, a 14 oz. monster of a burrito that is your intestines worst nightmare. So now that we have that out of the way, let's get to the movie...

...and we're back! Hell, wasn't that killer?!

It's impossible to talk about cult films without bringing up the Rocky Horror Picture Show, as not only is it arguably the biggest cult film of all time, but one of the few that has crossed over into mainstream success. When it debuted in theaters in 1975, it more or less crashed and burned at the box office and was quickly yanked from rotation. It was son re-released as a midnight movie, and the legend grew from there. There were plenty of other midnight movies around at the time, as they were much more common than they are today, but the Rocky Horror Picture Show became the most famous out of all of them for not only the bizarre story and characters, but also for the audience participation that has evolved through the years. What initially started out as folks yelling stuff and cracking jokes at the screen ala Mystery Science Theater 3000 had soon evolved into a show of its own, where the audience comes dressed as their favorite characters, participate to an audience script, and watch scenes and other hijinks that are acted out in the aisles by a theater troupe. This tradition has become a true American institution, right along side apple pie, baseball, and KFC Double Down sandwiches.

But what of the movie itself? For one thing, Rocky Horror Picture Show is a great satire of all the B monster and sci-fi flicks that we at the Cult Of Midnight Cinema hold dear to our hearts. From the exquisite lab sets with the big switches and knobs to the bizarrely weird and creepy characters, this movie lovingly wears its influences on its sleeve. In fact, there are a few direct references to the great Hammer Horror films that starred Christopher Lee and Peter Cushing. These include the fact that the castle in this movie has been used in many Hammer flicks, and that the scene where Rocky is born mirrors the scene where Frankenstein's creature is born in Curse Of Frankenstein. Barry Bostwick and Susan Sarandon's respective roles as Brad Majors and Janet Weiss were also great and parodies of these films, as they spoofed the token square heroes who sometimes come across as a bit dopey and naive. It's very funny to see them play up these kind of roles, and Sarandon is especially funny in her exaggerated distress scenes. This is an example of why Rocky Horror Picture Show works so well as a comedy, as it displays the essence of the B-movies of old and parodies this with fresh and funny jokes.

The songs in this flick are also 23 flavors of awesome. Catchy and fun, Rocky Horror Picture Show boasts a great soundtrack that warrants many re-listens. The opening song, "Science Fiction/Double Feature" reaffirms the love letter that this movie is sending to old sci-fi and horror movies, as the singing floating lips rattle off a laundry list of classic films that this is spoofing, such as When Worlds Collide and Forbidden Planet. After the opening credits, we get a slew of catchy and varied old school rock tunes, ranging from sweet dittys like "Dammit Janet" and "Over At The Frankenstein Place" to exciting show stoppers like "Rose Tint My World", "Hot Patootie", and the immortal "Time Warp". All in all, each and every song sounds great and memorable, as the lyrics are infectious and the musical arrangements work really well, as they aren't too complicated and are simply fun rock numbers.

Some may complain that this movie has a flimsy plot, but I'd argue that this is pretty much the point. From the beginning, the initial story is that a newlyengaged Brad and Janet are on their way to visit their old teacher, Dr. Scott. Unfortunately, their car gets a flat tire, and they are forced to take refuge in a mysterious looking castle. From here, the movie turns into pure anarchistic madness, as they are sucked into the crazy and sex driven world of Dr. Frank-N-Furter. Sexual awakenings, boy toy creations, and gender bending costumes start piling in a mile a minute while the characters dances to infectious rock songs. I was really young when I saw this for the first time, and needless to say, the risque subject matter shocked me a bit, since this was pretty much my introduction to the broad concept of sex. In a way, one could say that Rocky Horror Picture Show gave me that sex talk that I'm kind of glad that my parents never gave me. But anyway, the movie is wonderfully wacky and bizarre, and really benefits from its loose plot.

Finally, the biggest kudos go to Tim Curry as Dr. Frank-N-Furter, who eats up every scene that he is in. From the moment he makes his dramatic entrance, Curry gives a hell of a performance that is both powerful and sensual, and both masculine and feminine. He steals the show every time he is on screen, whether he doing the diabolical villain bit, posturing about like a Hollywood diva, or is belting out a song with his booming and unique voice. Curry will most likely be the reason you come back to view this flick, as he gives one of the most brave and entertaining performances in cinematic history.

It's not hard to see why Rocky Horror Picture Show is such a roaring success in the cult movie circuit. Not only is it a uniquely funny send-up of old sci-fi movies with catchy songs, but it features some great performances throughout the film, especially from Tim Curry. So now I'm hoping to hear what you, my fellow Cult members, thought about this cult classic. Let us know what you think, and if you had an experience at one of the many midnight screenings across the country, be sure to share that as well! Be sure to check in at Murmur around the end of this week, as I'll be posting info on The Cult's next movie, Tenebre. See you in the comments, and peace be onto you, midnight cretins!

Tenebre: Cult of Midnight Cinema call to arms!

Thu, 29 Apr 2010 04:49:30 GMT

by: comicBOOKchris
Get info on the next movie to be discussed in 2 weeks on The Cult Of Midnight Cinema: Tenebre!

With junk food in hand, the Cult of Midnight Cinema soldiers on! I hope that all you readers enjoyed the discussion on Rocky Horror Picture Show, and if you haven't yet, jump on in with your thoughts and join the Cult! Like I said before, one of the biggest goals that I have for this new group is to turn people on to great movies that, while they aren't too well know in the mainstream world, are true fun cinematic gems. Expansion is the key!

For our next meeting, we're going to travel from the Transylvanian Castle in middle America across the globe to the grand city of Rome, which is the setting of our next movie. Corsets and lingerie will be traded in for glistening razors and axes, as our next film is none other then the Dario Argento masterpiece, Tenebre. One of the most famous giallo films (an Italian slasher/horror film), Tenebre is a taut and rollicking murder mystery that features high tension, shocking scenes and twists, and a bizarrely wonderful synth-rock soundtrack. Here's the plot synopsis from Tenebre's entry on Netflix.com:

"Shortly after American mystery novelist Peter Neal (Anthony Franciosa)lands in Rome on a book tour, a rash of grisly murders -- patterned after the slayings in his new novel -- sweep the city. With the police scratching their heads, Neal launches his own investigation. Veronica Lario portrays Neal's ex-lover and John Saxon plays his publicist in this twisty giallo shocker from Italian horror-meister Dario Argento."

This is a must see film not only for all fans of horror, but those who are fans of a great mystery. So run to your nearest videostore, put it on the top of your queue on Netflix.com, or swipe a copy from a friend, because in two weeks, The Cult is going to reconvene for a new article to talk about everything Tenebre. Check out the trailer below, and see you all in two weeks, midnight cretins!

Tenebre Trailer

Trailer till Tenebre från rstvideos trailerarkiv.

Cult Of Midnight Cinema #3: Tenebre

Tue, 18 May 2010 20:32:13 GMT

by: comicBOOKchris
Tonight at the Cult of Midnight Cinema, we play detective as we try and solve the case of the Dario Argento giallo masterpiece, Tenebre!

"When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth." -Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

Welcome to another apocalyptic meeting of the Cult of Midnight Cinema! I'm Chris Powers, the First Deadly Venom of this fantastic following of feverish fanatics, and I've gathered all you midnight cretins here to worship the best in cult, midnight, and B movies from various points in history and the world! For those joining us for the first time, we at the the Cult of Midnight Cinema meet up every two weeks to discuss those rebel and renegade films that we worship for being a truly unique piece of work. Each midnight movie is unique from each other and makes its mark to stand out in this world of celluloid conformity. They can start as mainstream attempts like Office Space or small budget independent affairs like Evil Dead. They can be old classics like Forbidden Planet or more modern outings like Ghost In The Shell. They can be box office bombs like They Live or huge successes like Escape From New York. Big or small, good or bad, each of these movies have a devoted cult who fill up the theaters at midnight to see them for the billionth time.

At our last meeting, we paid tribute to the biggest cult movie of all time, The Rocky Horror Picture Show. Tonight, however, we are going to shift tones with our selected movie and bear witness to one of the most shocking and visceral slasher mysteries made in our day, Tenebre. For those of you that did your homework and watched this, I first would like to apologize if the more violent scenes of this movie freaked you out. That's just the way we roll here! You have to admit, though, that even though some of the more violent scenes were pretty shocking, the mystery surrounding the movie surely captivated you. Before we go any further, however, we must perform the necessary sacrifice to appease the midnight movie gods. I speak, of course, of the Gastronomical Sacrifice, in which we go out into the world and acquire a high volume of junk food to eat while watching the movie. Since tonight's film is of Italian origin, I decided that the best way to sacrifice myself to the gods would be with a nice big pizza. Since we here at the Cult Of Midnight Cinema only believe in showing the best of movies, we naturally believe in eating the best of pizza as well! For this, I made a short drive down to L&B's Spumoni Gardens in Brooklyn, in which the best pizza in the world is made. The slices are made of thick squares of dough, which are topped with gooey mozzarella cheese, rich and tangy tomato sauce which goes on top of the cheese, and grated cheese. I say this with no hyperbole: eating a slice of this pizza is absolute bliss. So now that we have this delicious business out of the way, let's get to the movie!

So Tenebre falls under the category of a specific type of horror movie called giallo. Giallos are Italian thriller/slasher flicks that are known for usually going over the top in terms of both bizarreness and violence, though they never really reach the level of camp that you would find in a Hammer or Troma movie. These types of films are also characterized for being beautifully shot on film despite the usual grisly subject matter. The settings are classy and sterile, the colors are vivid to the max, there's always a strong sense of sexual energy, and the shots are always very stylized and memorable. From a visual standpoint, I think of giallos as the antitheses to films like The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. While that film has more of a grungy feel to it that coincides with the films subject matter, most giallos have a weird inverse relationship between how pretty the flick looks to the horrible things that happen during its running time. Did I mention that most of these movies are pants-on-head bizarre? After watching a bunch of these movies and a good number of Spaghetti Westerns, I've come to the conclusion that no one makes weirder movies than the Italians.

The most important giallos came out in the 60's and 70's, as they were being cranked out on a regular basis from such Cult Of Midnight Cinema Gods like Mario Bava and Lucio Fulci. Tenebre was a later effort from another master of the horror and giallo realm, Dario Argento. Prior to this flick, Argento was already on the map as a highly successful horror director for making a string of great giallo films which included Deep Red, and was hot on the heels of making two incredible supernatural mindfucks, Suspiria and Inferno.

Tenebre continues Argento's hot streak, as it is without a doubt his best scripted film. The story is a taut mystery surrounding Peter Neal, an American author who is visiting Italy to promote his new novel, Tenebrae (By the way, the there seems to be a dispute on the proper spelling of the film's title, as it is shown in several places as both Tenebre and Tenebrae). While visiting, a mentally unhinged killer seems to have taken Peter's novel of lusty affairs and gruesome killings to heart, and has been driven to murder victims in ways that were depicted in the novel. Peter is stalked and tormented by the killer, and thus teams up with the police to find the killer.

Anyone who loves a great mystery will undoubtedly eat Tenebre up, as all the correct elements are here: a gripping storyline, characters with motives and mysterious elements, plenty of clues and red herrings, and the overall feeling that you are accompanying Peter and his cohorts as they discover new leeds and breaks with this murder mystery. One of the most memorable clues is one that only the viewer sees, and comes from the point of view of the killer. First we are shown an extreme close-up of the killer's eye, and then the shot fades into the killer's dream. Here, we see the killer accompanied by a group of teen boys on a beautiful beach, who are all having lots of sexy fun with a gorgeous young woman in a white sun dress and red stiletto heels (Fun fact: this woman is played by transgender actress, Eva Robin's. She sure fooled me). At the end of this scene, we see the killer-to-be get sexually humiliated by being held down and having one of the heels shoved down his throat. This bizarre sexual encounter, believe it or not, is actually the norm in most giallo flicks, as there will usually be some sort of weird sexual undertone. In Tenebre, a bizarre sexual encounter seems to be the killer's motivation, not to mention that the killer targets victims that he considers "sexual perverts", such as the ill-fated lesbian couple.

Speaking of the lesbians, the scene with them is one of the best parts of the movie for several reasons. First, it has one of the most bitching uninterupted tracking shots in movie history, where the camera starts out shooting one of the girls looking out the window, and then proceeds to pull away and cover the entire house, while looking through some of the windows and at one point going over the roof. From a technical standpoint, this is an incredible feat that Hitchcock would have given his right nut to be able to pull off. By the way, this is all done to the film's bizarre synth-rock soundtrack, which is a stable in all Argento films. After this, we get the quintessential giallo murder scene, complete with the close up of the glistening razor and leather gloved hands (Fun fact: the killing hands in this movie are those of Dario Argento's), the interesting shots, and last but not least, a crazy amount of blood. Here's the clip of that scene below:

This brings me to the last point I want to make about Tenebre: the bloody killings that are predominant through the film. I am reminded a question that Bruce Campbell once asked Roger Corman: "Which do you think suits a horror movie best: Less gore? More Gore? Implied gore like The Haunting?", to which Corman responded that he preferred less gore, and that if the filmmaker can create a successful visceral experience, then the audience will have a scene playing in their heads that is far more frightening than anything that can be filmed. While I certainly agree with this sentiment, I think that a movie that features an expertly done gore scene can leave an impact in a way that the same scene with the gore implied cannot. Naturally, there are great examples of movies that have incredible visceral gore scenes, including Psycho and The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. On the flip side of the coin, however, we have movies like George Romero's Living Dead films and The Exorcist, in which if the memorable disgusting scenes were cut out, I highly doubt that these movies would deliver the same punch. In the end, I would say that one style is better than the other, but there are certainly certain movies and scenes in which one style works better than the other. While there aren't any "geysers of blood" like there was in Army Of Darkness, Argento doesn't hold back on the blood in Tenebre. From the aforementioned lesbian scene to what I consider the best axe scene in any movie (even better than American Psycho), this is a movie that quite literally goes for the jugular with its horrific yet clever scenes.

That about wraps it up for this week's Cult Of Midnight Cinema meeting. I hope everyone enjoyed the bloody fun that was Tenebre, as it is one of the best slasher mysteries in movie history. I haven't quite decided what is going to be the next movie that we will watch, but stay tuned to murmur.com for the announcement this week. So from all of us here at the Cult, peace be onto you, midnight cretins!

Cult Of Midnight Cinema #4: Godzilla vs. King Ghidorah

Fri, 11 Jun 2010 03:48:47 GMT

by: comicBOOKchris
Put Doctor Who, The Terminator, The Day The Earth Stood Still and kaiju movies into a blender, and you have the Cult Of Midnight Cinema's next film: Godzilla vs. King Ghidorah!

It's time for some muthafuckin' giant monsters! I'm Chris Powers, the First Deadly Venom of this fantastic following of feverish fanatics, and I've gathered all you midnight cretins here to worship the best in cult, midnight, and B movies from various points in history and the world! For those joining us for the first time, we at the the Cult of Midnight Cinema meet up every couple of weeks to discuss those rebel and renegade films that we worship for being a truly unique piece of work. Each midnight movie is unique from each other and makes its mark to stand out in this world of celluloid conformity. They can start as mainstream attempts like Slap Shot or small budget independent affairs like Evil Dead 2. They can be old classics like Kiss Me Deadly or more modern outings like Akira. They can be box office bombs like Plan 9 From Outer Space or huge successes like Tremors. Big or small, good or bad, each of these movies have a devoted cult who fill up the theaters at midnight to see them for the billionth time.

At our last meeting, we visited the gorgeous city of Rome and witnessed some bloody killings in the giallo classic, Tenebre. For our next movie, however, the terror isn't just a puny human who slashes up sexual deviants, but a radiation-drenched prehistoric beast who towers at 100 meters. Whereas the killer in Tenebre was slitting throats and hacking folks with an axe, our foe this time works on a much bigger scale by rampaging across countries (well, primarily just Japan) and knocks down buildings with ease. At this week's Cult Of Midnight Cinema meeting, we're going to witness the battle of the century in the 90's kaiju film classic, Godzilla vs. King Ghidorah! Given the multitude of Godzilla films that the Japanese have given the world, it was quite a difficult decision to pick a single movie to talk about. There are a healthy cast of Kaiju monsters in the history of these movies, and it is fun to see Godzilla throw down with each and every one of them while causing property damage of epic proportions. So I went down into the Cult's labs, to do some extensive testing on which was the best 90's Godzilla movie. The process was long and arduous, but I have deducted that Godzilla Vs. King Ghidorah is the stand out Heisei Era Godzilla flick. But more on that in a minute.

Before we go any further, we must appease the Midnight Movie gods and perform the Gastronomical Sacrifice. The experience of watching a midnight cult film is incomplete without shoveling mountains of junk food into your mouth, so we perform the Gastronomical Sacrifice to fulfill that requirement. Tonight, I went to my local 7-11 to stockpile the usual junk food fare, like a Super Big Gulp of Spoke (mixed Sprite and Coke) with vanilla and cherry, terriyaki jerky and a bag of Coller Ranch Doritos. I also stockpiled some delicious onigiri, which is a Japanese snack that is basically a rice ball wrapped in sea weed and has some delicious sushi fish in the middle. They are quite delectable, but it takes a skilled artisan to get the wrapper off. I'm quite sure that I use less concentration to crack a lobster or king crab. The work is well worth it, however, as these things are like crack to me.

Just like with Night Of The Living Dead, we are lucky enough to have Godzilla Vs. King Ghidorah streaming online. So if any of you heathens haven't seen this classic piece of Japanese cinema yet, just click on the link below, bear witness to the apocalyptic battle, and come back here to discuss!

Click here to be blown away by Godzilla Vs. King Ghidorah!

Back? Wasn't that fucking epic?!

So let's have a roll call of Kaiju monsters in this monumental flick:




           Godzilla!

King Ghidorah!
Mecha-King Ghidorah!

Sure, this movie doesn't reach Destroy All Monsters levels in terms of monster appearances, but we're not going to hold that against this movie, since it does everything else with near perfection.

Godzilla Vs. King Ghidorah was made during the Heisei Era (or the Vs. Era), which is the film series that includes all the Godzilla films that were made in the 90's. These films had a weird continuity in relation to the films of the earlier era, as the first Heisei Godzilla movie, called The Return Of Godzilla, is considered a direct sequel to the original Gojira that came out in 1954. After Return, each succeeding Heisei flick is a direct sequel of the previous one. If you're confused by all of this, think of how Superman Returns was a direct sequel to Superman II and ignored what happened in III and IV, and you will have the basic idea about how the continuity of this series is mapped out.

Godzilla Vs. King Ghidorah is the third movie of the Heisei Era, and begins with Godzilla still reeling from the events of the previous film, Godzilla Vs. Biollante. While Godzilla is licking his wounds at the bottom of the Bearing Sea, some time travelers called The Futurians come back from the future to warn present Japan that the entire country will be destroyed because of Godzilla's continued antics. They offer a solution: assisted by some experts from the present, they will time travel back to World War II and transport the dinosaur that will become Godzilla away from where he was blasted with a hydrogen bomb, ensuring that he will never become the behemoth that he is in the present day. Everything goes according to plan, but little do the people of the present know that the Futurians have an ulterior motive! After the dinosaur that would become Godzilla is transported away, the shifty time travelers release their own monster onto the hydrogen bomb drop site, who then absorbs the radiation and becomes King Ghidorah and is controlled by the Futurians to wreck havoc in the present. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention: if you haven't already guessed, time travel is a big factor in this movie.

I was never a big fan of the the way Godzilla was portrayed as a straight up good guy in some of the older movies, as it always kind of rang false that this giant pissed off lizard would form some sort of attachment to us puny humans. In Godzilla Vs. King Ghidorah (as well as most of the movies from Return of Godzilla onwards), Godzilla takes up more of an anit-hero role, as he does battle against his Rouges Gallery of kaiju monsters while maintaining an antagonistic role. The plot of this movie is a perfect example of that, as Godzilla is in no way allied with the humans and is feared and notorious throughout Japan. However, with King Ghidorah running amok in the name of the evil time travelers, the humans have no other choice but to rely on the King Of All Monsters to take out the trash. What I like about this set up is that after the evil monster is dispatched, Godzilla doesn't just go back into the ocean to celebrate with a bottle of Cristal. He's still pissed off and goes rampaging through Japan! The plot seems a bit richer because of the way Godzilla is portrayed in this movie, because the plot of the movie isn't just simply good monster vs. bad monster, but is instead about how the humans manipulate these warring angry monsters.

Which brings me to my next point: the humans of kaiju films. A big complaint that some people seem to have with select kaiju movies is that there is too much focus on the human stories. While too much can certainly be a problem, it should be known that these stories are indeed essential for a successful overall movie. Without the human element, the only thing we'll have is an hour and half of a few monsters fighting, which is one of those things that may sound good initially, but would get boring fast. The key to a good kaiju film is finding that balance between monster fighting and human drama, which is why Godzilla Vs. King Ghidorah stands out as one of the most notable films. The human story is probably the most ambitious of the 90's Godzilla flicks, as not only does all the time traveling get kind of crazy, but the film delves into deep themes such as communism and the fear of imperialistic nations. You know that stereotype on how Japan has a severe inferiority complex? One could use this film as proof of that sentiment. You see, the Futurians are trying to destroy Japan to prevent them from becoming the most powerful nation in the world, and doing so would ensure the safety of the communist-like society of the future. This plot point doesn't weigh down or overburden the film, as Godzilla Vs. King Ghidorah still has a strong focus on the giant monster fighting. However, these themes are showcased in a few character moments that enrich the overall flick, such as the scenes between the Futurian leader and a Japanese Futurian named Emi, who is sympathetic to the present day Japanese. Another notable point is the character of M-11, who is the Futurians service/battle android. He seems to be this movie's response to the Terminator bot and Bishop, and has a curious number of action scenes based around him. It would baffle me why this Terminator would have the number of scenes that he has focused around himself, but then again, after seeing Godzilla: Final Wars and the massive amount of human action scenes in that flick, these seem paltry in comparison. Again, none of this overburdens the main focus of the movie: the titular fight!

There are less monsters in this movie than in some of the others in the catalog, but the aim for Godzilla Vs. King Ghidorah is quality over quantity. The budget is wisely spent on quality built miniature city sets, which is probably the best thing to invest in so that when Godzilla rampages through the city, it looks as little as possible that he is knocking down cardboard boxes and is kicking around toy tanks. The fight scenes are also well shot and choreographed between Godzilla and King Ghidorah, and while that may be a silly thing to set praise upon, keep in mind that being the man inside the Godzilla suit is considered a huge honor and that there is an exact science to the movements and mannerisms of the King Of All Monsters. Try and track down the episode of Johnathon Ross' Japanorama where he talks about Godzilla for more info on that. Finally, as for Godzilla's foe in this movie, you really can't get much better than King Ghidorah. Throughout the years, King Ghidorah has become The Joker to Godzilla's Batman, and the fights between them have always been epic and entertaining, as his towering height and multiple radiation-breathing heads always prove to be a sizable threat to The King Of All Monsters. Additionally, at the end we are introduced to the awesomely designed Mecha King-Ghidorah, who Emi pilots like a Zord from Power Rangers. It was a cool surprise reveal at the end and made for a great climatic fight, even if Emi didn't have the common knowledge to point the radiation-shooting end of Godzilla AWAY from her monster when she was airlifting him out of Japan.

So I hope everyone enjoyed Godzilla Vs. King Ghidorah, as this stands out as one of the best kaiju flicks ever produced. Even though the concept of giant monsters attacking Japan seems silly on the surface, the filmmakers collaborated and put forth serious effort and money to make a highly enjoyable flick. It is this reason that most Godzilla films stand the test of time: the filmmakes don't treat this production as a joke. For further viewing, be sure to check out the other many Godzilla films out there, as the good ones far outweigh the bad ones. I think all the 90's ones are the best, though the original Gojira and the 2001 Giant Monsters All-Out Attack also top the list of my favorites. The world of kaiju monsters is something that the Cult Of Midnight Cinema will surely revisit sooner than later. As for the next movie, stay tuned to murmur.com tomorrow for the announcement. Until then, peace be onto you, midnight cretins!

The Cult Of Midnight Cinema #5: Ghost In The Shell

Mon, 12 Jul 2010 19:07:24 GMT

by: comicBOOKchris
The Cult Of Midnight Cinema returns! Tonight, we jack our brains into the net and watch the great 1995 anime classic, Ghost In The Shell

Welcome, one and all, to this meeting of the Cult Of Midnight Cinema! I'm the First Deadly Venom of this fantastic following of feverish fanatics, and I've gathered all you midnight cretins here to worship the best in cult, midnight, and B movies from various points in history and the world! For those joining us for the first time, we at the the Cult of Midnight Cinema meet up every couple of weeks to discuss those rebel and renegade films that we worship for being a truly unique piece of work. Each midnight movie is unique from each other and not only makes its mark to stand out in this world of celluloid conformity, but also is the key ingredient for some kick ass screenings!

At our last meeting, we paid homage to the kaiju and Building Smash-Fu flick, Godzilla vs. King Ghidorah. Tonight, we won't be traveling away from Japan, but will instead be traveling into the neon drenched future. Giant city destroying monsters aren't the ones threatening the general public, but expert hackers who can take control of their minds and make them do their evil bidding. That's right, tonight we are going to pay tribute to the 1995 anime cyberpunk classic, Ghost In The Shell.

Before we go any further, however, we must appease the Midnight Movie gods and perform the Gastronomical Sacrifice. The experience of watching a midnight cult film is incomplete without shoveling mountains of junk food into your mouth, so we perform the Gastronomical Sacrifice to fulfill that requirement. For the past few Cult Of Midnight Cinema meetings, I've been heavily relying on the very meaty junk food snacks of 7-11, such as jerky and burritos and more jerky. Tonight, however, I have decided to switch up the regiment and give into my throbbing sweet tooth. Being a connoisseur of anything of the gummi variety, I snagged a bag of Haribro Gummi Bears (the best kind), and a pint of the greatest ice cream to be invented by the Ice Cream Gods, Ben&Jerry's Key Lime Pie. Since this type of pie is ultimately the greatest dessert ever created, it's quite obvious that the ice cream based on it is also quite brilliant. It's not as tart as a good authentic key lime pie, but it still has a nice luscious flavor.

So now that we have all the precursors out of the way, let's talk about the movie! For those that haven't seen it and are fortunate enough to have Netflix, you're in luck! Ghost In The Shell is readily available on Instant Watch, so all you have to do is click on the link below and you'll be basking in the glory of one of the best anime movies that Japan has ever blessed us with. So take a look, take-a-lookers!

Ghost In The Shell: The full movie on Netflix Instant Watch!

So if you just watched the movie, take a minute, catch your breath, and let's talk some anime!

Ghost In The Shell certainly isn't the first great breakthrough anime, as prior to the release of this in the States, we've seen the likes of films like Akira and Ninja Scroll. What this is, however, is the anime movie with arguably the first strictly adult story. When I say adult, I don't mean that this is the first anime movie to feature a gaggle of violent and sensual scenes, because Ninja Scroll has this movie beat out in that department by a longshot. Ghost In the Shell is mature in that its story is a complex and twisting tale that is in the vein of classic film noir movies like The Maltese Falcon or The Big Sleep. The main plot of the movie is simple enough, as it starts out as a search for a dangerous cyber criminal. However, like all great noir films, the story twists and turns at a rapid pace, and thus the "hows" and "whys" become a very complex factor in the scheme of things. In this movie's case, the story moves at a very brisk pace and doesn't stop too many times for the viewer to take a breather with its plot or high concepts.

The main concept of this movie involves the cybernetic bodies that the general population uses, which are the titular Shells. In the future, humans can have their brains extracted from their bodies and put into a robot construct, forming a "cyberbrian", which are then put into cyborg bodies. With these bodies, people can connect to an Internet-like mainframe through connections to jacks on the back of their necks (Sound familiar?). The "Ghost" in the title Ghost In The Shell are what the characters call their own personalities and souls, which makes up for the movie's biggest running theme. See, a Shell with a human brain possesses a ghost, thus giving it a very human personality and differentiates this person from strictly being a machine. Major Motoko Kusanagi, the main character, ponders this state of being throughout the film. She is the top officer of Section 9, a wetworks anti-terrorist division, and is in control of one of the most advanced Shell models which she uses to very effectively kick cyber-terrorism in the balls. However, in her free time, Motoko struggling with the state of her existence. She questions her own humanity, even though the general consensus is that if you're a cyborg with a ghost, you're pretty much human. Additionally, she is unsure that her memories of her life prior to becoming a cyborg are truly her own, and that they are just artificially created sequences to give her the illusion of being human. It's a truly brilliant and engaging theme, as it not only got me sympathizing for Motoko's plight, but it is also very reminiscent of the stories by Philip K. Dick. Dick's stories have some of the most bizarre and high concepts to be featured in the world of science fiction, yet he would find a way for the reader to connect with the character's dilemma on a very grounded level, despite said dilemmas being utterly fantastical. This is what makes Ghost In The Shell so incredibly special. Yes, a good portion of the movie is devoted to action that is seen in many other anime movies, but the deep issues, philosophical and otherwise, aren't just footnotes in an action piece and are 100% integral to the movie as a whole.

Above, I noted that this movie is reminiscent of many film noir movies. I'm aware that some people through out the term "noir" a bit too freely when describing certain works, but in the case of Ghost In The Shell, I feel that the term deftly describes both the story and look of the flick. As I mentioned before, Ghost In The Shell starts out on a simple note. Motoko and the rest of the agents in Section 9 are on the search for a master hacker who is only known as the Puppet Master, who commits crimes by Ghost Hacking people's brains and taking control of their actions and thoughts unbeknownst to the person who is being hacked. The crimes being committed are all linked by being politically driven, and so the gang try and chase down all the leads that they have on hand. Naturally, the story becomes a bit more complicated as Motoko and Section 9 find out that the Puppet Master is much more than a simple hacker, from which double crosses and plot twists ensue. One thing that stuck me as notable was the Ghost Hacking victims and how incredibly tragic their plight was. When these people are jacked into the net, the Puppet Master hacks into their brains, erases their memories, creates false ones, and sends them out to unknowingly do his bidding. The scene when the garbage truck driver was being interrogated and being told that his memories of his wife and previously happy life were fabricated was especially heart wrenching, as you saw him slowly fall apart while sobbing and realizing that everything he knew was a lie. There were also plenty of expertly written action scenes to compliment the story, such as the scene that opens the movie where Motoko performs a quick assassination mission and the climatic final battle where she battles an enormous tank. If it seems like there is a lot crammed into this movie, you wouldn't be completely incorrect in thinking this, but then again this isn't too much of a problem. Ghost In The Shell moves at an incredibly brisk pace, and when all is said and done, you will most likely think that the movie was shorter than it really was. None of the plot elements seem superfluous, however, as everything has a purpose and all the plot points are neatly addressed. It's just that the story moves a bit faster than most others. Additionally, in typical film noir fashion, some plot points are resolved through extensive dialog and exposition, so extra attention should be given to character's dialog and use of names. If you are a veteran Chandler or Hammett reader, then you should have no problem with this.

Motoko is a great main character and a good example of a strong lead heroine. From the way I described her and her dilemmas, it would be fair to those reading this to expect her to be whiny throughout the film. You can be rest assured, however, that this is not the case. While she does spend a good amount of time brooding over her own robotic existence, it feels as if she's intelligently contemplating the dilemma instead of just bitching and moaning. Additionally, she doesn't carry any of her baggage into work, as she proves to be a highly skilled agent and a true force to be reckoned with. And then there's Batou, who wins the Cult Of Midnight Cinema medal for Greatest Sidekick. Blunt and pragmatic, Batou is a fellow Section 9 agent and is Motoko's second in command and best friend, and acts as her down to earth foil. Even though Batou doesn't quite agree with Motoko's views on her lack of humanity, he always engages her in an intimate conversation and is generally caring and concerned for her well-being. Additionally, he always shows up at the right time with a big ass gun, so it's difficult to think of a better friend than him. Batou is my favorite character in this film, and as I dove deeper into the Ghost In The Shell universe through the sequel and TV series, I was very happy to see how his character has been expanded upon.

So Ghost In The Shell has an exemplary story and well written characters, but this is only part of the reason why this flick is so noteworthy. Not only does this film feature the most gorgeous animation to be drawn since Akira, but it also features very stylistic and slick directing from Mamoru Oshii. The fight scenes are the ones that benefit the most from this style of directing, as the wide shots in unusual locations and unusual environments make for great viewing. The best shot scene is the aforementioned climatic tank battle, which is so detailed and brutal that it makes you cringe while watching, despite knowing that both combatants being robots. The crux of this scene occurs when Motoko jumps on top of the tank and tries to rip off its CPU, which is bolted very tightly on. While this is happening, the camera zooms in on her naked body as all of her muscles are bulging and going haywire. This happens until her machinery ultimately rips out of her skin and her body parts start to explode in slow motion. It's a very gruesome scene by nature, but is so wonderfully shot that it becomes a thing of beauty. Also, I mentioned that this movie didn't necessarily slow down to much, but there is one scene in which the narrative is put on hold and we get an extended look at the scenery of the future. The drawings and mood are pitch perfect for this scenery shot, as we get beautifully drawn landscapes of the less than perfect city. While the camera pans across the gray skies, scaffolded building and dirty waterways, a simple Asian chant plays which truly enhances the bleak yet mystifying atmosphere. It's all very reminiscent of the city in Blade Runner. Even the subtleties of the animation are exceptional, such as the lifeless and artificial expressions on Motoko's face during one of the last scenes in the movie, her radiant and gorgeous eyes through the entire movie, and even the strange transformation that the character's hands go through when they type on a computer. It should also be noted that this movie was one of the first animated movies to blend traditional hand drawn animation with 3D effects. It's most noticeable during the opening credits sequence, but it blends in seamlessly through pretty much every other part of the film. In the end, what really makes Ghost In The Shell stand out beyond it's peers is the high quality animation, as every little movement is detailed to the minute degree and all the colors blend together perfectly to create the ideal cyberpunk environment.

Ghost In The Shell is brilliant on many levels. It tells a story that is complex and adult without being too convoluted and base. It features characters and situations and are highly sympathetic and relatable despite being relatively other-worldly and fantastic. Finally, it features scenes that are not only drawn and animated beautifully, but are shot in an expert manner. To call this movie anything less than a masterpiece is to severely undercut its greatness. Ghost In The Shell is more than just an anime classic: it's a highly important work of science-fiction along side Blade Runner and Star Wars. It's an interesting universe that has a lot of depth to it, so luckily there are more ways to explore this world. Be sure to check out the sequel to this movie, Ghost In The Shell 2: Innocence, which is also written and directed by Oshii and focuses on the solo adventures of Batou. Also, be sure to check out the TV series Ghost In The Shell: Stand Alone Complex, which ran for two seasons and a TV movie.

So I hope everyone enjoyed this meeting of the Cult Of Midnight Cinema! Be sure to join us next time when we pay homage to the desolate, striking and ruthless Spaghetti Western flick, Django. Below is the trailer and plot synopsis from Netflix.com. So if you're interested, pop it on your queue and join us for the conversation next time. Until then, peace be onto you, midnight cretins!

Django trailer
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In a lawless frontier, a master gunman carries a dark secret -- and a coffin filled with chaos. Franco Nero stars as Django, a mysterious stranger caught up in the violent crossfire between Mexican bandits and sadistic vigilantes. This landmark classic is packed with indelible images and some of the most shocking brutality of any Spaghetti Western ever made.

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Predators: aka There's No Chopper To Get To This Time

Tue, 20 Jul 2010 01:51:48 GMT

by: comicBOOKchris
It's been 20 years since we have seen another true sequel to the great Predator movie, but Robert Rodriguez and company bring back the ridiculously vicious alien hunters for another go around. Was it epic? And if so, how epic??

There have been many cases of franchise murder over the years. You all know the prominent examples. From the goddamn Star Wars prequels to the goddamn 4th Indiana Jones flick to even the goddamn Batman (there's the popular example in Batman&Robin, but I've also heard people say that The Dark Knight killed the movie series). However, I would say that the franchises that have been murdered with the most sharpshooter-like accuracy are the Alien and Predator series. I mean, here we are with two exciting movie series that, with even the weaker entries, provided some fun and interesting flicks. Then, like Ripley in the Alien movies, both of these franchises go into a cryogenic sleep, due to the fact that the final entries didn't light the box office on fire. So after the Alien series is stagnant for 7 years and the Predator one is M.I.A for 14 years, along comes Paul W.S. Anderson with his giant Japanese love pillow to smother both of these franchises in their sleep by making Alien Vs. Predator. Not only did this movie contain zero percent of the suspense that made the classic films of this franchise great, but good ol' Paul W.S. sparred no expense in including every cliche imaginable from both series and action movies in general. He didn't even let inter-planetary species sodomy get in the way, as he wedged in a subtle love connection between the Predator and the lead actress. For christssake, he even kind of ended it the same way as Predator 2! As this was the movie that killed both franchises at the same time, Alien vs. Predator: Requiem can be considered the hypothetical pissing on the ashes, as it just as safe and lame as the previous movie. Sure, they added more blood (alien and otherwise), but it still felt incredibly safe and boring, and was one of the worst shot movies I have ever seen on top of all that.

Despite all of this, I was reasonably excited when Predators was announced. The minute that I saw that Robert Rodriguez's name was attached, I felt assured that any stylistic or thematic connection to the AvP movies would be severed, and that we would get the Predator movie that we were all waiting for ever since we saw Danny Glover have a boxing match with one inside its spaceship. You see, Rodriguez is an action movie maven. He's truly a genius when it comes to this genre. The directors that I respect the most are the ones that can make an impressive looking movies with little or no budget, which is what Rodriguez did with El Mariachi. So even though the news was that he wasn't directing Predators, I was satisfied with him producing it and having it shot at his studios, since it was obvious that we wanted the creative control necessary to make sure the flick met his standards.

I'm happy to say that this gameplan worked. It's indeed long overdue, but Predators is the movie that we've been waiting for since 1990. It's generally exciting, well shot, and chief of all, reintroduces suspense into the films. Suspense is what made the first film the classic that it is today, as the main premise was that the main humans were being hunted by these incredibly skilled and brutal killers. When you take away the hunt aspect from these films, then that pretty much also takes away the suspense. Predators has an ideal premise that plays into this motif. The movie opens up with several humans being airdropped onto a jungle planet with weapons, and then proceed to learn that they all have one thing in common: they are all proficient in the trade of killing. They then find out that the ever-gaming Predator aliens are setting up an elaborate hunt for each of them, and thus they try to outwit and out-hunt their vastly superior foes. This premise works because the Predators are painted as brutal tacticians instead of cartoon monsters, which is what made these foes so terrifying in the original Predator. The big difference between this flick and the original, though, is that we meet the Predators face to face in the first half hour or so and that little time is devoted to the mystery of the humans' assailants. This set up works towards the movie's favor, as it doesn't seem like the filmmakers are trying to remake the original story with all the same beats. Instead, it seems like they are enhancing it by upping the ante with more Predators, who are written just as well as in the first movie, but this time around are alot better at doing what they do best. It is similar, but not exactly, to the relationship between Alien and Aliens. Aliens is a movie that upped the ante on the suspense by increasing the number of foes and making them more efficient. The difference between the two franchises and their sequels, however, is that Aliens is a vastly different movie than Alien thematically speaking, as Alien is a thriller/horror movie and Aliens is a straight up action beast. Even though Predator and Predators aren't the same movie and, for the most part, don't follow the same beats, they share the same theme. This works in Predators' favor, since it uses the groundwork that was set up in the original movie without it seeming like this new one is completely ripping it off. It makes the Predator aliens fun to watch, as they are more stealthy and ridiculously vicious than ever before. If you are coming to this movie for some intense Predator action that has been missing from the cinemas for nearly 20 years, you are sure to get your money's worth here.

Now onto the aspect of Predators that I think that most people will have a problem with: the characters. Even though the previous movies weren't Shakespearean works in character study, they got the point across with some charismatic figures. Arnold's crew in Predator were a fun bunch of typical military type characters, and the players in Predator 2 were all characterized by how much more crazier each one was from the next, with Danny Glover as the king of the wackos who sits atop his throne of peanuts. Here, the characters aren't so much defined by any sort of base characteristic, but instead by the weapons they carry. I mean sure, there's a scene where the big Russian who carries the heavy guns has a scene where he says he misses his family, but that's all it is: just one scene. The only other thing we know about him through the entire movie is that he's a Spetsnaz trooper and that he fires a mini gun. Likewise, the only thing we know about Danny Trejo is that he's a Mexican cartel enforcer and that he shoots two uzis at a time, the only thing we know about Walton Goggins (Shane from The Shield) is that he is a cocaine snortin' and "bitch-rapin'" convict who carries a shank, and the only thing we know about the shifty Asian man is that he is a Yakuza member and that he really knows how to kick ass with a Samurai sword. These aren't so much characters as they are action figures. The only person who we spend an increased amount of time with is Adrian Brody, but that's only because he's the leading man of this flick. In all honesty though, I enjoyed Brody in this role as he was fun to watch as the badass leader. I don't know how I missed it in the past, but Brody's thick New York accent and penetrating stare makes for great potential ingredients for him to be a believable action hero. He certainly puts all these attributes to good use, and even though he was quite one dimensional, it was fun to watch him as the no-nonsense roughneck. We also get a cameo which is along the lines of Kevin Spacy's in Se7en and Tom Cruise's in Tropic Thunder. It literally comes out of nowhere, and evokes quite a chuckle when you see this random actor come onto the screen.

As much as I am harping on the lack of character depth, part of me thinks that this was entirely intentional on the filmmaker's part. See, this isn't just a case of little depth. There doesn't even seem to be a hole in which depth can be measured. It almost seems as they go out of their way NOT to explore character. Additionally, we never learn any of the character's names. I mean, they have names on the IMDB page, but throughout the entire course of the film, none of the characters are referred to by their names (We do learn Adrian Brody's name at the end, but that is only because the mystery of his name was a small running plot point through the flick). With this evidence, I get the feeling that the lack of character depth isn't so much a flaw on the scriptwriter's part, but instead a snarky statement. It's not overtly goofy comedy like Snakes On A Plane, but I wouldn't be surprised if this is indeed semi-intelligent snark from the filmmakers, since it would fit the tone of the movie. In a movie where the Predators are performing the Sub-Zero spine rip fatality from Mortal Kombat 1, it seems like the filmmakers are not only trying to make an insane action movie, but are also playing around with the cliches and tropes that go along with the genre. This doesn't excuse ALL of the films flaws, however. For instance, why is it that everyone finds out at the beginning that Arnold tricked the Predator's infra-red vision in the first movie to defeat him, but they wait until the very end to use this extremely helpful tactic? Why does the Predator's laser blast, which has been shown to explode people with one shot and to cut through everything, fail to penetrate a thin steel chestplate that very obviously isn't Mithril? Why didn't the Predators ever bother to investigate a broken down spaceship when all they had to do was point their infra-red scanners at it to notice life hiding inside of it? These questions are just merely nitpicks, however, and it doesn't detract from all the fun in this movie.

If you are a Predator fan who, like me, never quite got a decent fill of cinematic adventures featuring the intergalactic hunters, then Predators is right up your alley. In fact, compared to a lot of the other movies that have come out recently, I would even venture to say that one of the better done action movies of the summer. It seems that Rodriguez and company knew exactly what made the original movies so great, and reasonably succeeded in structuring this flick to make the Predators seem like a suspenseful threat. As for the acting and characters, your mileage may vary on this topic, and may possibly affect your enjoyment of this film. Like I mentioned, I saw the lack of character depth as purely ironic and intentional, but if you don't see it the way that I do, then I could understand how this can be seen as a major flaw. I suggest that everyone should check it out regardless however, as the movie is fun viewing for its well done action scenes and the overall suspense.

Listen Or DIE!: Skindred - Roots Rock Riot

Wed, 21 Jul 2010 01:31:30 GMT

by: comicBOOKchris
Listen Or DIE! returns to appease all you freaks who love the fringe scene of the music world! Today, we jam to the dancehall metal of Welsh rasta-rockers Skindred!

If there is anything that I love more than hard rocking music, it's eclectic music. Whether it be the bizarre rock n' roll orchestral-style arrangements of Frank Zappa, the strung out acid blues of Captain Beefheart, the systematic metal chaos that is System Of A Down or the punk rock infused journey through different genres of The Clash, I always give music artists bonus points when they put a unique and weird spin on the music that they perform. This is why I enjoy Skindred so much. They're a modern hard rock band that not only has a unique and different overall voice, but makes absolutely electrifying music.

Hailing from Wales, Skindred plays music that I like to call "dancehall metal", in that it combines modern day hard rock and metal with that reggae dancehall sound that The Clash liked to play around with all the time. It's a great mix that gives the dancehall songs a harder edge and gives the hard rock songs a funky sound. To make matters even better, lead vocalist Benji Webbe is a highly proficient metal and dancehall singer, as he possesses the best qualities from both genres. He can rattle off lyrics faster than a speeding bullet with his lightning quick reggae style, but then really blast the roof off the ceiling with his metal bellows. Both these styles don't seem exclusive to each other, as these musical and vocal combinations gel together nicely and cause the formation of some wonderful fast paced and catchy songs with a hell of a bite.

Roots Rock Riot was released back in 2007 and is Skindred's second album, following their breakthrough and critically acclaimed debut album called Babylon. Even though that album was nice heavy fun, Roots Rock Riot is a much stronger album in terms of songwriting and contains much catchier and memorable tunes. "Trouble", which is one of the single's off the album, is a great example of how Skindred matured as a band since their last album, as it's an infectious song with a funky beat, but doesn't at all lack the necessary hard edge. This also true for the song "State Of Emergency", which is the closest thing to a straight up dancehall song that the band does on the entire album. It's a brilliant mix of danceable beats and headbanging fun. Even though Babylon was a much more frantic album, this doesn't necessarily mean that this is softer outing. The songs on this album are just structured and written better so that the songs are catchy as well as heavy. "Destroy The Dancefloor" and "Rat Race" (the other single off this album) are great examples of relentless songs that can light off your average mosher into a frenzy, as they feature the band's streaming heavy instrumentals and Webbe's intense ragga-metal singing and lyrics.

Whether you are looking for a great album to rock out to, dance to or get funky to, you cannot go wrong with Roots Rock Riot. Skindred are truly a great band that stands at the top of the ranks of today's rock acts, as they not only create a unique and eclectic sound that differentiates themselves from everyone else, but they're also immensely fun and really know how to fucking rock.

Razor Sharp Album Cuts

Trouble

State Of Emergency

Rat Race

Stand For Something (This is actually on their next album, but it's such a great song and video that I couldn't help but include it here)

[ Download ]

I Like The Nightlife, Baby!: My Favorite New York City Bars

Sat, 24 Jul 2010 01:25:25 GMT

by: comicBOOKchris
New York City has quite an overabundance of places to get booze, but not all are created equal. Here, I talk about my favorite places to get your drink on in the beginning of my short series called I Like The Night Life, Baby!

New York City is my hometown, and I wouldn't have it any other way. It's a city where something is always going on and a night is never boring if you play your cards right.There are many factors to what make a great NYC night, so I decided to do a little series of articles of the very things that I like to do on a Big Apple night. To start out this series, I wanted to start in the obvious footing and talk about my favorite places to hang out and get a drink. Keep in mind that I mostly hang out downtown around the Village, so a majority of my picks are going to be situated in that very area. It's for this reason that I want you readers to weigh in on your favorite bars as well, since this isn't so much a comprehensive list of the best bars, but instead is are the places that I consider the best and the ones that I frequent the most for that fact. So without further adieu, let's go barhopping!

Manitoba's
99 Avenue B, East Village, Manhattan

I first heard about this place when I heard that it was owned and run by Handsome Dick Manitoba, who is the lead singer of one of my favorite punk rock bands of all time, The Dictators. I went there initially to meet the afroed punk king, but I ended up coming back night after night, as this place has become possibly my favorite place to grab a drink in the entire city. It has that great CBCG's/Knitting Factory hole in the wall vibe to it, but is upkept enough so that it isn't a smelly and disgusting dive (Not that I'm bashing those...I'm just saying). Since the aforementioned classic music venues are on the sharp decrease nowadays, Manitoba's and a few other select bars are the premiere places to get the authentic punk experience. What I like about this place is that even on it's busiest night, Manitoba's is lively but never extremely crowded. I've never really seen too many obnoxious assholes here, except for that time I went here on Halloween and I saw Thomas Jefferson get into a fight with a lucha libra wrestler. You can always walk around easily and grab a table upstairs, or you can head down into the basement and chill out while your friends attempt to whoop each other at air hockey. They also have a classic jukebox with some amazing song selections, ranging from punk to classic rock to country to blues. As for the staff, I've only went on nights where Handsome Dick or Kevin was there, but they are extremely nice dudes who are fun to chat up and make some really good drink mixes. As for beer, you have your standard decent selection here that doesn't cost. Nothing too fancy, but I always end up getting a Killian's so I don't really mind. More importantly, the drinks are reasonably priced, so you never get the feeling that you're being ripped off. So yeah, like I said, this is probably my favorite place to chill out in the city. Low key, awesome punk atmosphere with some matching memorabilia on the wall, kick ass jukebox, air hockey, and a punk rock madman behind the bar. It's everything I can ever want out of life.

Rudy's Bar&Grill
627 9th Avenue, Hell's Kitchen, Manhattan

Sorry to say, but if you're looking for a place to drink around midtown, there's a good chance that you'll stumble into a place that bleeds your wallet for booze. Nothing to get too upset about, that's just the way of this city. This is especially true concerning Times Square and the Theater District, which is where the most tourists flock to. Finding an affordable bar around here is like finding a needle in a haystack, which is why I'm so glad that Rudy's Bar&Grill is in this area. Existing more or less on the border of the Theater District and Hell's Kitchen, Rudy's is the place to go if you find yourself leaving a nearby show or just leaving Midtown Comics with this week's pull list. It can get a bit crowded here at times, but you just can't beat the deals here, especially in this area. You have your typical beer selection here, but the price averages out to be $3-4 per drink everyday. The bar also has it's own line of blonde and red beers which are pretty good, of which I always go for the Ruby's Red since it has more of a kick to it. Another great thing about this bar is that along with the great deals on beer, Rudy's also serves free hot dogs to its customers. Good ones, too. Better than what you get on the street. You will not believe the amount of times that this place has saved me from my roaring stomach in cases where I didn't want my beer money to be wasted on something as silly and inconsequential as food. So if you don't mind a small crowd and want to go to a no-nonsense bar with cheap beer, head up to Rudy's, where it's not only important to tip your bartender, but also your weenietender.

Barcade
388 Union Avenue, Williamsburg, Brooklyn

Whoever thought up this place is a goddamn genius. Located in the hipster capital of the world, Williamsburg Brooklyn, Barcade is just what the name implies: a bar and an arcade that have been fused together in a freak teleportation pod accident. The bar itself is a refurbished industrial space like most of the other hotspots in the area, so not only is it very open in terms of space, but it also looks very unassuming on the inside. This type of design is part of its charm, however, as feels like a low key underground type of place that you go to because the fancy bars are cramping your style. There's also the arcade games, which was totally the initial draw for me. The wall is completely lined with old school arcade games from the 80's, like Paperboy, Tetris and Contra. These are some great time killers and only cost a quarter each, and even though it would have been nice to see some more modern games in the mix, there is a fun selection of games. The beer selection here isn't your typical selection, as Barcade boasts a nice selection of craft and microbrewery brews for very reasonable prices. They rotate the draft menu quite frequently, so Barcade is a a perfect place to try some new and previously unheard of beers while you marathon though some arcade classics.

Hell Gate Social
1221 Astoria Boulevard, Astoria, Queens

Hell Gate Social is probably the nicest bar in terms of decor on this list, which is a coincidence because it's also the hardest to find. Located in a quiet part of Astoria, there isn't much signifying that the bar is there. Just a huge black door and a tiny red sign above it. It gives off the essence of an insanely ritzy and expensive club, but once you go inside, you'll see that it's one of the chillest and most welcome bars in the city. There's a good selection of beer and wine here which is priced pretty nicely. It's a nice atmosphere inside, as the interiors make seem like a laid back lounge with the warm colors, slightly dark lighting and cushy sofas in a few corners. There's also a very nice outside patio with more seats and tables. Since this is in a remote spot in Astoria, it's nice and quiet out here with the only major noise coming from the bar. They also have some good theme nights as well, including X-Box 360 Rock Band competitions and nights with all you can eat BBQs and midnight cult movies. I remember one night they were showing The Room, and my friend and I, who are well versed Room veterans, got up and led the rookie audience through a wonderful cadence of movie bashing. It's a wonderful hidden gem in the city, and even though it's more tucked away than most other popular bars, you really owe it to yourself to make the trek down to Hell Gate Social.

Peculier Pub
145 Bleecker Street, Greenwich Village, Manhattan

Go to Peculier Pub's website and look in awe at their beer list. It's monumental! With over 300 beers from all around the world, you're bound to spend a good amount of time just ogling the menu and trying out different brews from countries that you didn't even know exported beer in a major capacity. Some of the foreign beers can get a bit pricey, but a good chunk of them average to about 5 or 6 bucks. The domestic selection is also quite wonderful, as it not only features the more popular selections, but also a good microbrewery representation, which are all mostly within the aforementioned price range. This is truly a bar for hardcore beer lovers, since even though most of the selection is bottled instead of on tap, this place has the most staggering beer menu in the entire city. It's a place to really celebrate that wonderful drink that Lenny from The Simpsons calls "Ancient Hops and Grain Juice". It's also probably the most habitable bar on Bleecker Street, as a good number of the the other ones are usually wither filled to capacity or overflowing with obnoxious fools. Plus, there's a cool blues club nearby it called Terra Blues. A blues club, people! Now you have no reason to say you haven't gone here.

The Library
7 Avenue A, East Village, Manhattan

Like Manitoba's, The Library is a nice punk rock bar with the ambiance of a place like CBGB's. To be honest, I like this place for a lot of the same reasons I like Manitoba's. Great atmosphere, always a place to chill out, old school jukebox with a great selection of my favorite songs, friendly staff and reasonably priced beer. I do find it funny that both places have one particular brand of super-cheapo beer. At Manitoba's it's Pabst Blue Ribbon, and here it's Tecate. The jukebox is small in size, but is packed to the brim and cheaper than most that I run across. Out of all the places on this list, The Library is certainly the place that feels like dive of the bunch, but that's part of its charm to me. It's a great punk dive where I can go to for a late night cap, where I can just chill out at the back tables and drink cheap beer under the dim lights and big bookshelves filled with random works of literature.

Hi-Fi
169 Avenue A, East Village, Manhattan

I didn't even originally come here for the alcohol. I did a search for best jukebox in NYC, and I was pointed to Hi-Fi, a bar I haven't frequented before that was in the neighborhood that I consider my stomping grounds. Make no mistake, this jukebox is epic. It's the jukebox equivalent of Library Of Alexandria. Containing over 3,000 albums, it's most likely that you will find the indiest of indy music and the fringiest of fringe music on this thing. The best thing about this, however, is that it's a computerized jukebox that shouldn't be operated while drunk, since you'll most likely get confused after you put your money in. Fortunately, this doesn't stop these people from doing just that, so if you're sober enough, you can waltz right over and see that some drunk person had put a bunch of credits in before you, but got frustrated and walk away. Thus, you get free songs! Otherwise, you get a nice selection of beers for the typical price, and you even have some really big bottles as well. There's a pinball machine and a pool table as well, and even though it can get a bit crowded at times, it's a cool bouncing place with some great song selections.

PDT (Please Don't Tell)
113 St. Mark's Place, East Village, Manhattan

PDT is a straight up speakeasy. It's a clean and nice looking speakeasy, but one nonetheless. The entrance to this bar is located in a "secret door" in a place called Crif Dogs, a late night atop for delicious hot dogs of all different varieties. Inside Crif Dogs is a phone booth, which has a panel inside which is the door to PDT. You pick up the phone to ring up the bar, and if you have called ahead and got reservations, they'll let you right in. If not, then they'll let you in if they have room, or will ask for your number to give you a callback when they do. Inside, it's a small space with a low ceiling, cushy seats and a shnazzy decor. The whole place has a very smooth and cool atmosphere to it, and has a very Mad Men feel to it. There's no beer here, as it's a strictly mixed cocktail bar. They are a bit expensive here, averaging at about $14 a glass, but being as the bartender is the Bill Nye of mixers, you're getting exactly what you pay for, which is an expertly mixed and delicious drink. They will be able to mix any type of drink that you have in mind, and even some ones that you definitely haven't heard of. Additionally, you can order the excellent hot dogs from PDT's cover location. Fuck yeah.