Murmur - Zeblue's Content

So, I Finally Saw Zombieland

Fri, 16 Oct 2009 15:34:47 GMT

by: Zeblue
It?s no secret that I love zombies. Before you roll your eyes and let out a sigh expecting that the rest of this review will be nothing more than a geek squee from a partial fan, I want to let you know that I don?t love zombies, that way.

It?s no secret that I love zombies. Before you roll your eyes and let out a sigh expecting that the rest of this review will be nothing more than a geek squee from a partial fan, I want to let you know that I don?t love zombies, that way.

Zombies are a fun subject to create stories around and to place into existing stories to change their style. In this regard, zombies are no different than ninjas, pirates, the wild west or anything else of the like. They?re exciting because they are fantastic, something we will most likely never see like we do in movies, graphic novels and books, but their origins are tied to half-truths, extreme situations and our general ignorance of things scientific. All of which, makes the possibility of zombies seem more real, and, therefore, more intriguing.

The two best things that zombies do for people, I think, is scare them and allow them something that the world considers okay to beat with a bat until nothing put goo remains. In fact, that want to be scared and that want to release pure, uninhibited violence to lust-point is so strong that since we don?t know enough to say that zombies couldn?t exist, they can, and since we don?t know how zombies could be made, we thought of ways to make them.

Even so, zombie movies, in my mind, aren?t classified into a ?zombie movie? category. Instead, they?re filed around inside of other genres, like action, horror, suspense, comedy, tragedy, and the like. If I had to put Zombieland into a category, it would probably be comedy, but it has so much more.

The two main characters of Zombieland make the movie, and the grand total of four human characters makes it cozy. Explanation is coming. In the post-apocalyptic anarchy that is a world completely covered with death, the remaining humans are obsessed with two things: staying alive and staying sane. Rarely, at this point in the chronology of a zombified Earth, will a human see another uninfected human, and if two do meet, they don?t want to stick together because at least one of them is certain to die, and neither wants any more emotional strain. This is how Tallahassee (Woody Harrelson) and Columbus (Jessie Eisenberg) feel when they stumble upon one another, and why their names are simply destinations. This theme is reiterated and expanded upon when Tallahassee and Columbus meet Wichita (Emma Stone) and Little Rock (Abigail Breslin). The sisters are focused on survival, which is clearly shown when they con Tallahassee&Columbus out of their vehicle and weapons, but they are also focused on sanity. The two sisters have always been together and will never split apart; they are each other?s hope and salvation. Eventually, however, the four learn to work together and each finds what they were missing or had lost from their lives, previously.

I won?t give away too much, but? the kind of writing that gives so much character definition is definitely OSCAR worthy, not only for it?s complexity, but for it?s ability and willingness to create a comic moment out of a dire&heartfelt situation. That?s the beauty of true comedy: it?s on another level; it?s so good that it can give all the insight to the human soul a Rembrandt can, but it also teaches you to laugh.

The story may have been lacking for some, but the narration of the lead character, Columbus, filled gaps where it would have been otherwise emotionally inappropriate for a character to speak. Without the narration, the movie would probably have been dragged out another twenty to thirty minutes with long pauses where the audience would stare at a Eisenberg?s face, wondering what he was thinking. The story didn?t lack character backgrounds, in fact, the audience knew enough of all four to feel connected with each, but, in all honesty, I feel that if it had any more, the movie would feel too rushed and forced, as so many other recent movies, do. The great part about the writing, however, isn?t about what?s in the movie: [*TIDBIT*] Reese and Wernick actually intended Zombieland to be a television show and this movie is actually just the first two episodes. So, there?s plenty more where this came from.

The graphic quality of this movie is high ranking, for sure, but not without its flaws. The feel of the colors and environments of every scene are very akin to anything you may remember from I Am Legend and the like. Almost always dark, and when there?s light, it?s just as frightening. So, I have to give major props to the editing and direction for maintaining the proper feel of a horror/suspense film throughout, and while I?m not going to cost the film points for things they don?t have much control over (like outfitting Wild Adventures, a working theme park, as a refined movie set), I am going to wag my finger at a few other things.

Make-up and costuming were pretty dammed great. I?d say 8 out of every 10 times I saw a zombie, I was at least partially disgusted by the gratuitous use of blood capsules and ooze dripping from undead mouths. The splatter effects they made were awesome, by the way. Not every zombie, however, looked as awesome and epic. Some simply looked like people in make-up, and whether those people are the center of the frame or not, that just won?t do.

CGI was another thing I could wave my finger at, in general. While the quality was definitely refined enough to putZombieland into an imported car lot of motion pictures, it was not the most tricked out ride. I think the most obvious example of this is when three zombies chasing Columbus through Wild Adventures get smacked by a strangly pendulous carnival ride, as if it were a giant mace. They do seem to flail quite a bit like redeading undead creatures, but rag dolls and different camera angles probably would have looked better. I doubt it would have cost less, if that?s what you were thinking, as CGI is a bit cheaper, nowadays, than paying people to make dolls, operate machinery, and film inanimate objects.

There?s not really a whole lot more about Zombieland that I can write about without doing a thorough, completely spoil-laden synopsis. I laughed out loud, a lot (though Cloudy With A Chance of Meatballs is still my number one comedy this year), I cried true tears of sorrow (if you?re a father, you?ll understand), and I was honestly scared to the point of a startled jump at least three times (fantastic feat; bravo). I recommend seeing this movie, but only if you understand and accept that it is, indeed, gory, full of lots of violence, suspense, heartbreak, romance, hope, love and zombies.

Global Agenda: Beta Breakdown

Wed, 21 Oct 2009 20:20:14 GMT

by: Zeblue
Zeblue reviews the current closed beta build of the newest upcoming and independently developed MMO, Global Agenda.

Since my first visit to Hi-Rez Studios, I?ve maintained intermitant contact with the staff and tried to participate in the development and, to a lesser extent, the viral marketing of Global Agenda. I attended Hi-Rez?s ?Nerd Up? as a guest speaker (on zombie culture? go figure...), had some fun at their Dragon*Con LAN party, and I aggravate David Tyler, one of the game developers that happens to be on Twitter, pretty regularly. While I am not able to drive to Hi-Rez Studios? main office in Alpharetta, Georgia to participate in weekly, in-house testing sessions (I've only done that once), I am a part of their closed beta testing program, and that?s what this article will be based on.
[-] What Testing is All About [-]
Before any gamer geeks out there start panting hard and fogging up their screens while they think (with all too much enthusiasm) on the possibility of playing a new game before many else are able, realize that it won?t be what you?ve experienced before. I?m not making reference to the various features Global Agenda offers in contrast with other games, as I will elaborate on later while attempting to not repeat statements in my previous GA article. I?m referencing to that fact that beta testing GA is just that: beta testing.
All too often, a select few, anxious gaming enthusiasts are given the opportunity to join in beta testing of a game that has not yet been released. Nine out of ten times, this experience has nothing at all whatsoever to do with actual testing, but is, instead, all about you experiencing a polished and finished game before anyone else and then telling the rest of the world all about it.

If anyone out there actually thinks that they were making major contributions to games like Aion or will make a difference in SWTOR?s beta testing, think again. Most people who played Aion beta payed for the privilege, and BioWare stated before opening beta sign-ups (in an interview that I can?t find, now) that studios don?t learn anything new from beta testing. This means to me that most studios don?t want to invite the general public to test their games, hence, they don't expect anyone in their "beta test" to actually test anything at all. If I remember the interview with BioWare correctly (MAN! I wish I could find that link), developers for SWTOR even expect beta testers to keep most bugs a secret so that players can exploit the bugs after the game goes live. Hi-Rez Studios, however, thinks much differently.

Hi-Rez makes sure to issue an email about one week before every non-in-house test, explaining what they want testers to look for and be aware of. They also make sure to include a snippet to help motivate beta participants to test, not just play. A real tester is going to find bugs, write them down, report them, and try to duplicate the bug until the studio fixes it or just tells them to move on.

[-] My Rating of Global Agenda's Most Recent Beta Version [-]

---GRAPHICS

I rank the graphics as one of the highest in quality for an MMORPG, which shows through even better when I play from my gaming rig at home compared to the computers Hi-Rez keeps for LAN parties and in-house testers. It takes a few seconds at the login screen for the graphics to really kick in, but I have absolutely no performance problems in-game.

I?m not so big on the smooth way lighting caresses textures that Hi-Rez chose to use for the characters, items and environment, but it?s not a deal breaker, either.

I'm kind of taken back to the days of Doom 3, but with less dramatic contrast in light to dark. It makes sense for me to feel this way, I suppose, seeing as how Global Agenda uses the Unreal 3 engine.

---SOUND

The music and sound quality are more than adequate, but not necessarily ground breaking. Global Agenda is definitely making use of my 5.1 surround sound force feedback headphones, though. Whenever I'm involved in PvP combat (that's combat against other players), every queue an enemy can give to let me know they?re attacking is worth watching and listening for. Precision gaming audio equipment will give a player that much more of an edge, making the difference between number one and second best.

I can hear as players fly over me, can identify the sound effects associated with specific attacks, know what a player is shooting at and what he's using to shoot it with. Most gamers don't think about the work these sort of sound effects require; it's intense. Nevertheless, it's also expected. So much so that anything short of the best sound quality is considered lacking.

The one thing audio-wise I'm missing in Global Agenda is music. There is some music, and there's also some environmental resonance, but it's not enough for me. It's small differences in quality like audio that distinguish a video game from the video game. Whether environmental, situation based (like in versus out of combat) or otherwise, music really helps me to immerse myself into the virtual world.

---USER INTERFACE AND ITEMS

As for the user interface, I have mixed feelings. I really like the helpful info stations that a player can query to find specific locations, such as the armor store, and it generates a three-dimensional path hovering above the ground for the player to follow. As for equipment and talent windows, they?re not quite there, yet.

It was very confusing for me to figure out how to set any equipment or abilities at all. Most players are used to filling up their skill trees, dragging combat ability buttons from a menu to a hot bar and then equipping weapons to a character slot from the inventory. Not in Global Agenda. If it weren't for the Hi-Rez game dev I was chatting with while playing, I would still be trying to figure out what button gets me to the skills menu and wondering how to set them. Actually, no I wouldn't... I would have just stopped playing. Also, I had no idea where to get a weapon from. Turns out, after settings skills, weapons automatically become available and are equipped from a tab in the skills window. In short, weapons aren?t items in an inventory that you need to buy or find, but are given to you.

Don?t worry, you can still upgrade your weapon, armor and more beyond what another player has through the use of special mod items. These mod items are supposed to have something to do with nanotechnology in the game lore, but they?re used the same way as gems in WoW.

The controls and interface are a bit different than any MMO you have probably played before, but it doesn?t take long to figure out. In fact, the only hindrance to playing the game at maximum intuitiveness is not moving around the map, but using the hot bar to initiate attacks and special abilities as you run around. The pace of the game is very similar to an FPS, but the differences are that it's third person and your abilities mean way more than your base weapon, in most cases.

---GAMEPLAY

The game runs smoothly. I have no complaints, there. I have not yet been able to test the orientation portions of the game, including any missions that grant experience. I?ve only been able to test PvP, so far, and while it is pretty close to finished on the PvP side (that?s the part Hi-Rez wants to focus on), I really, really want to get in on some PvE.

The PvP has a few different maps and modes. There?s a capture-the-flag type map, with three flags to capture/defend until time runs out. There?s a sort of escort mission that doesn?t use an MVP, but instead forces one team to move an object from one side of the map to the other, while the opposing forces try to stop it?s movement. Also, the object cannot be reset or reversed and moves sort of slow.

The only other PvP map I played besides those two looked to be a different version of capture the flag, but my team was getting pwn?ed so hardcore, I can?t tell you what the hell it was about. Which brings about another point...

---COMMUNITY

In any game, players and the way they experience the game are what define the project. A person will say a game is "good" or "bad" based on their experience. Sometimes (most times), players will interact with a game's content in ways the developers never intended, giving the content a completely different feel. The most influential way players can change the face of a game are through community interactions in an MMO. For most players, the community makes or breaks games.

In general, I like Global Agenda?s community. The dev?s all have characters and play the game, though it?s usually for testing, and they?re all super nice and/or helpful in game ? even while they?re stomping you into the ground in PvP. Though almost every last one of the players in beta testing, right now, are high schoolers, they?re not entirely unruly. My chat box is not constantly overfilled with cursing and derogatory comments, which is nice.

I asked a lot of newb questions when I logged in on the beta. While most of the testers who could read me didn?t respond, there were a few that actually answered my questions, were super helpful, and even offered me in-game currency to buy equipment that was, at that point, purely aesthetic.

---ISSUES

The only issues I experienced had to do with things on the game coding side. I couldn?t participate in the first beta because there was some sort of issue that prevented me and several other players from being able to run the program. That issue, however, was fixed before the second beta, during which I ran around trying to learn the classes and how to play them in the short amount of time I had. During the second test the only issues I had were: (1) the game was unstable in windowed mode and would freeze or crash regularly, and (2) after leaving an instance based mission, the game would either crash or freeze. Thankfully, the application never caused my computer to crash completely.

The reason for the score? Any issue that keep me from and discourages me from playing the game is a big issue.

Thanks to developer David Tyler, I was very well taken care of on the support side of things. Thanks, David!

[-] Overall [-]
I cannot stress enough that this game is still in development, and since every bug I?ve ever experienced or reported has been fixed, I forgive them any problems I have had. All other aspects of the game, including, to a lesser extent, graphics, and to a larger extent, things like user interface and class abilities, are constantly being updated. Hi-Rez Studios is making sure they get class balancing and intuitive in-game controls as fine-tuned as possible before releasing their baby for the whole world to play. For that, I will delay most of my opinions concerning most any aspect of the game, until the game is released.
[-] Pertinent Questions [-]

When is the launch date? No one knows, yet. This game has a long way to go before the pristine condition needed for launch is achieved. Every time I ask about something I don?t like in the game, the response is always ?Yeah, we?re working on that.? In fact, every time I talk with any developers, it looks like Hi-Rez is making and dev-testing new builds at least once a day.

How can you get into the closed beta? Create an account and request to join.

Do you like Global Agenda enough to play once it is released? As long as I?m not bogged down with SWTOR or FFXIV (because I have extreme lust issues for anything Star Wars and/or Final Fantasy), I will most likely be playing Global Agenda. Something I didn't note, earlier, is that Global Agendawill likely make a nice change of pace and sort of "stress reliever" as a secondary game to play for any hardcore MMORPG player.

Retro Review: Little Nemo

Thu, 22 Oct 2009 07:11:43 GMT

by: Zeblue
A young boy whose dreams transcend reality is sucked into his his own fantasy, which is everything he has dreamed of until he unleashes a century old secret...

Do you have déjà vu? Do you dream? Do you sometimes inadvertently call upon a memory, but the memory isn't an image, smell or sound? Do you have sudden bouts of emotional persuasion brought on because something sparked an ancient light in your mind, a memory from so long ago that it is much too far away in your mind, now, to see clearly, but you can feel it's glow? It has warmth and familiarity, yet it has been so long since you last visited that specific brain space you've forgotten how, exactly, that memory feels. So, you investigate. You rattle your mind in an attempt to jog the memory, hoping to let loose a flow of emotion you haven't thought on since you were near infancy. A pure, warm, innocent thought so basic and from so long ago that it is ingrained in your soul.
This happened to me not two weeks ago while sitting at my desk. Something caught a snag of an old memory from a time before childhood, but after infancy. I spent the rest of my afternoon digging around frantically through my brain, searching the internet for clues with terms I attempted to mold as warmth became brief images and brief images became words. I looked and looked, but couldn't find it. I earnestly wondered for hours if I had only dreamt such a feeling.

After work, I called my sister to ask for help. I told her about my ordeal, but that I could at least remember a small boy named "Nemo" and a bed that could move, somehow. She told me that I wasn't dreaming and that it must involve something named "dreamland." We went searching. It was not 10 seconds later that we had found it: Little Nemo: Adventures In Slumberland.

Turns out, I couldn't have seen it at as young an age as I had thought, since the movie was released in the U.S. in 1992. I was not put off, however, and went straight to work finding a copy to watch so that I could relive a childhood memory. Fortunately, I found a copy, and began watching, immediately.

[-] Synopsis [-]

The main character of the story is Nemo, a young boy, maybe around 8 years old?, who is the only child in an upper-middle class home. The setting for his home looks to be early 1900's and could be geographically located any place close to Marry Poppins. Nemo's father is the type of character who is not too snooty to play with his son; he's just too busy obsessing with his work. His mother doesn't look to have a job other than fussing about Nemo and baking pies for him to sneak out of the ice box at night. Oh, and Nemo has a pet flying squirrel, Icarus, that chirps out enunciated English so well, we might as well be talking.

Nemo likes to spend most of his time in some sort of near-death coma, during which he spends most of his time dreaming about some crazy place called Slumberland. Actually, he was gathered by a royal entourage lead by one Professor Genius who entered his upstairs window via dirigible and presented him with a royal invitation. When Nemo arrives, he's greeted by a festival in his honor, meets a princess (Camille) who thinks his pajamas are cute, is lead around by a dirty, cigar smoking clown riding a giant crow (Flip), and is told by a toy train loving gargantuan of a king (King "Morphy" Morpheus) that he, Nemo, has been selected as the heir to the thrown of Slumberland. At this point, Morphy gives Nemo some sort of magical key that unlocks any door in Slumberland and is told there is one door he must promise to never, ever open.
So, later that night... Nemo opens that one door he promised not to ever open, lead into mischief by Flip, the dirty clown. The gala being held in honor of Nemo's coronation is interrupted shortly after when an amorphous blob of darkness swallows King Morpheus. Everyone else is left unharmed, but curious as to who opened the door. Then they all simultaneously slapped their foreheads and walked slowly towards Nemo, mumbling his name like an undead horde.

Nemo wakes up in his bed and decides it was all a dream, but King Morpheus' giant royal scepter of all things light and dreamy laying next to him in his bed says different. Disregarding the foreign object in his bed, Nemo goes down stairs to get some pie but upon opening the ice box, his house is flooded. So, he jumps on his bed and rides it through the water to the safety of a vast and featureless expanse of blue, surrounded by fog. There he bumps into Professor Genius who informs Nemo that Morphy is now a prisoner in Nightmareland. Nemo convinces the Prof. that they should use the power of the King's staff to enter Nightmareland for a rescue operation, but the only person in Slumberland who knows how to get there is Flip, the dirty clown, who everyone hates... and who is being prepped to be shot out of a cannon by order of Princess Camille.

Nemo and Genius stop Flip from being the first clown in space and grab the princess, just to make sure all the principal characters are together, and head to Nightmareland.

Once in Nightmareland, the Princess is nearly drowned by weird, flippery creatures and the group stumbles on the three of the only four friendly goblins in the whole of evilness. Later, a group of flying monkeys take everyone away and Nemo is powerless to stop them.

Again, Nemo wakes up in his bed, and again with the scepter. This time, he also has the three friendly goblins with him and the fourth one falls from the sky. Nemo, the four things, and Icarus jump on the bed, at which point it grows legs and walks through the city to gallop into a giant vortex. After that, the bed choses to simply fly.

Nemo leads through group to the dark fortress center of Nightmareland where we don't see many creatures, but we do get to see a freaky, flying, hammer-head manta-ray and the giant, bat-like evil king of all darkness. Using the scepter, the King Morpheus' incantation (delivered from nightmare prison via good goblin, earlier), and Icarus like a music lyre, Nemo blasts the king of darkness into nothingness. Everyone captured is now safe, but Nemo is looking a bit on the dead side. So, Morpheus uses the scepter to bring him back to life. Next, everyone has a huge party as Nemo leaves Slumberland to wake up in his bed, leaving all of us to wonder if any of it ever really happened.

[-] Review [-]

This movie is definitely a fun one, but doesn't quite rank with the likes of other epic animated movies form the past, like Miyazaki. There is an obvious mix of styles as the character designs look American, object motion looks Japanese and the environment looks of ambiguous origin. This alone makes Little Nemo a unique film to watch, but that does not mean it is necessarily the kind of animation you would like to see.

All of the characters are as memorable as the characters of, say, Adventures of the Gummi Bears. Not especially memorable, but not really all that forgettable. The four friendly goblins suffer the unfortunate circumstance of being completely flat characters. Flip, while memorable visually, is not so well remembered for his lines or voice acting (Mickey Rooney). Even Nemo isn't very interesting; most of the time he's screaming out garble about pajamas while trying to remember the incantation to use the scepter. Morpheus is a typical epic kind of character, like most any other king in a children's movie, but still flat. Princess Camille definitely ranks most memorable as the most outspoken one of the bunch who is allowed to convey the most emotion. Camille laughs, cries, cuddles, insults, is sarcastic and even punches Flip in the face. Plus, at the risk of sounding somewhat pedophilic the combination of her voice, personality and physicality makes her very attractive.
The movie seems to move through a lot of story pretty quickly just so it can spend more time establishing moods for scenes other places. This is something I always dislike. I really don't mind a longer movie if it means that all of the story is told. We are supposed to see connections between the real world and Slumberland based on subtle queues from the background and such. For instance, Nemo must like planes and dirigibles since they're hanging in his room, but never focused on, hence why there are lots of balloons and blimps in Slumberland. Also, I feel as though the movie is trying to convey the sense that we are watching a dream, but it doesn't quite get me there.

The world of Slumberland changes four times from pristine, to flat and neutral, to dark and evil, and back to pristine, again. Each of these changes are transitioned by Nemo waking in his bed with some element from the dream in hand. This should be like a dream in that the entire landscape changes drastically, without warning, and that Nemo's mind is tricking him into seeing his room, but the dream persists even there, as if he were about to wake up, and then went back to dreaming, again.

The story is pretty classic good versus evil, and there is at least one lesson about keeping promises presented as a sort of theme throughout the movie. So, I guess there's some substance there, but if I were to watch this movie as a new release, today, it would have to have some serious hype for me to recommend to any serious movie goers.

When it comes down to it, the only thing this movie has going for it is my infatuation with it from childhood. It gave me a lesson in the form of pure emotion that can never be expressed in words, but it can all be expressed in one scene of the film that happens near the very end: the kiss scene.

[-] The Kiss Scene [-]

Watch it here, first!

The kiss scene is between Camille and Nemo. Nemo is just the guy. In almost any kiss scene, ever, the guy can be replaced, but Camille cannot. She has been established as a woman, essentially. Her qualities up to this point show that she is sensitive to feelings of others, aware of her duties to her kingdom, and in control of her emotions to a certain point, which makes her more personable than someone who always retains control. In this scene, Camille shows a myriad of emotion and messages through three simple acts.

[1] The first act is cuddling with Icarus who she expressed dislike with earlier in the movie. [2] The second act is shedding a tear while thanking Nemo. [3] The third act leaning out to kiss Nemo.

What this all means to me is that Camille knows she is a figment of Nemo's imagination and that the whole of the events were a dream. She's passing out kindness because she feels that this moment may be her last moment in existence, which she expresses by holding Icarus. When she tries to thank Nemo for creating the dream and letting her experience the adventure they shared, she means to dole out kindness as she did with Icarus, but she cannot. She sheds a tear because she realizes cognitively what she was feeling subconsciously: she will miss Nemo. So, finally, she leans out to kiss Nemo and to claim a bit of comfort for herself that makes life worth living, the kind that is shared between two people in one act of committed love and acceptance, the kind that, at this age and in the face of nonexistence, is also as pure and innocent as it can possibly be.

This may be fantastically over-romanticized, but it's what I felt as a child and what I appreciate more, now, that I can assess Camille for her character qualities.

[-] In the End... [-]

I think that the movie is worth watching just to gain the knowledge and experience that goes along with, what looks to be, a fantastic comic strip spanning from 1905 to sometime in the 1920s. The original strip is now past the expiration of copyright protection and I plan on buying it form whoever may have it published. I'll have to find out who's got the latter strips.

If you want to find out more about the story behind the story, check out this wiki page.

Retro Review: Typing of the Dead

Fri, 23 Oct 2009 14:18:20 GMT

by: Zeblue
Remember those light-gun arcade games where you shot zombies in the face? Yeah, it's the same thing... but you type zombies to redeath.

If you've never been to an arcade, then I pity you. You've missed out on some of the best aspects of what gaming is all about, an aspect that many players forget: fun. Playing video games is about having fun, not being hardcore, beating every level, unlocking every secret, and being otherwise OCD. Sometimes, though it pains me to admit it, playing video games isn't about the graphics, music or story; sometimes it's just about the amount of fun a game allows you.

Ask any person who may not even consider themselves a gamer, per say, what it was that they enjoyed about any game made prior to the year 2000. You'll most likely notice a glaze over their eyes as they stare into space, as if they were literally looking into the past, and then present you with information concerning simple stories, epic struggles of good, evil and turtle shells, hours spent playing with friends and family, and how enjoyable every last bit of it was. I, for one, remember waking up early and running to the houses of friends and cousins, getting there before even our parents were awake, to play games of Mario, Star Wars and the like.

Years later, when gaming had evolved and become more interactive with various peripherals, most notable of the lot being light guns, arcades seemed more fun than playing the consoles at home. Many of my favorite games of all time involved shooting aliens, zombies, and various other baddies. Unfortunately, I didn't always have the money to attend the arcades or to even, later, buy consoles, games and peripherals to play the old games I fell in love with at home in my very own bordello of game lust. It is thanks to, let's be real, emulators that I was able to play many a classic title, and many more obscure ones. One of the best, lesser known titles of all being The Typing of The Dead.

There are many awesome things about arcade games concerning their peripherals. There's the light guns, sure, and ones that embarrass you a bit, like the Dance Dance Revolution stage, but then there's cool ones. Cool ones where "cool" equals "geeky", but not "nerdy" because you're totally using a keyboard in an arcade to kill zombies by typing.

[-] What is it?! [-]

TotD, not to be confused with "thought of the day," though it should be one, wasn't originally a typing game, oh no. TotD is, actually, a modified version of House of the Dead 2, which is part of a series of awesome all about using a light gun to blow away all sorts of creatures who have no business living, dammit! **SLAMSFIST**

There is a bit of story that prequels TotD, seeing as how it's actually a sequel, and all. It's got something to do with some sort of evil corporation that developed some kind of something that turns animals into giant, evil things and people into zombies. It basically is just another version of the same story that's in Resident Evil and the like.
All that's important is that you are here to kill zombies by typing at them with the SEGA Dreamcast that's attached to the back of your sexy, sexy suit.

[-] My Experiences [-]

GRAPHICS

Considering this is a game from 1998, and it's a SEGA game (you know what I'm talking about, here), the graphics are pretty suck.

The characters look like someone took those cardboard blocks you used to play with as a kid, stuck them together and made people. The textures are pretty lame, too. Somehow, though, the game is able to combine enough sucky graphics in just the right way to let you get a good picture of what's going on. It really does give you a sense of urgency.

I blame the constant camera movement, a technique that action and survival movies only recently started using en force.

SOUND

The sound is pretty crappy, too. I have to admit.

Sound effects get the point across when coupled with animations or graphics, but probably couldn't stand alone. I know that when I hear something that sounds like yetti screaming at me from ten years ago through a microphone connected to a guitar peddle set to "grunge"using the sound production quality of an ear bud, something bad is probably about to happen. When I hear the same sound, only shorter, I know someone shot a gun.

The music is also pretty terrible quality, but not terrible composition. I can feel the emotion they're trying to convey (terror), especially when the music is used in the background, as it should be.

Voice acting? Except for the typical SEGA announcer guy with the dead voice, the voice acting is crap. It's not really acting. I suppose I could give them credit for being the most monotoned persons ever to speak into a microphone and then have it published, but I?m not.

GAMEPLAY

I really like light-gun games. I don't have to worry about moving my character around with a controller, mouse or keyboard. I just let the camera go around and I shoot things. It?s much more of an interactive movie experience, really, and TotD does it well.

As I mentioned before, the constant screen movement, even while focused on one scene, helps add to the realism and sense of urgency. The flowing hordes of zombies flying at the screen helps with that feeling quite a bit, too.

Another huge feature that adds a lot to this game is, of course, the keyboard. Typing to kill zombies may sound ridiculous to read, but think about it. If you had to type like your life depended on it, could you survive a zombie apocalypse? Oh, it starts out easy enough. Just type a quick "To" here or a random "KO" there, but pretty soon you're blasting out sentences connected to a central theme while a giant, headless monster is chasing you with a chainsaw as you run backwards through a maze. Here's a video of it.

What could possibly add more awesome to something already that awesome? How about making the sentences and phrases you type to stay alive have nothing to do with zombies, death or survival, at all? One of my favorite sentence series to type was ?It?s hard to ride a bicycle uphill? [dodge zombie attack] ?I have to push hard with one foot and then the other? [dodge zombie attack] ?My kid brother has polio? [dodge zombie attack, start laughing, screw the next sentence up and die].

ISSUES

I don't really have any issues with this game. It's so old that it is what it is. It's come, it's gone and the only people who play it are people who think the same way about old games as many think about old movies. They're classics.

[-] Overall [-]

If this were a new game, I'd rank it something terrible, I'm sure, but as this is a retro review and I?m playing something the likes which we don't get the chance to play any more (novelty, I'm talking novelty, people!), I'll give it a nine.

This game is really fun, at least to me. I'd definitely recommend it to anyone who was even remotely interested. It has very helpful tutorials, various game modes, and even training and practice levels to help you with your typing speed and accuracy.

If you play this game, you will get better at typing and learn to not look at the keyboard. Also, if you're in an office with the sound turned off, you'll look like the busiest employee in the history of looking busy.

V - Episode 1

Wed, 04 Nov 2009 03:22:36 GMT

by: Zeblue
Read Zeblue's opinion of the first episode of ABC's 2009 version of the 1984 mini-series for NBC "V".

So, the hype was big and the advertisements were wide spread. You couldn't visit a website without seeing a banner, watch T.V. without seeing a commercial, or tune far enough away on your radio to not here about ABC's remake of NBC's 1984 mini-series V, which aired 8pm EST Tuesday, November 3rd.

Even if you hadn't seen the original series, you were likely to find out what the hype was all about. If you had seen the original series, like me, you were likely trying not to get too excited like you did for the recent Transformers and G.I. Joe movies, in the attempt to avoid massive disappointment. If you didn't watch tonight's episode, or if you did watch it, but don't know what your own opinion is, I'm about to tell you, and I'll do it without referring to the original series... except for the pictures because they're classic. Also, this will have spoilers.

The story, so far, of V has established several characters that we can assume will frequent our screens, given us our setting and have also shown us turmoil. All of these are necessary for a proper story to be told, and V does it rather well, for television.

For our characters, we have:

A female FBI agent, Erica Evans, who is a single mother of a 17 year-old boy after a recent separation with her husband. Her personality displays great skepticism, but her beliefs are based on logic. She won't believe it until she sees it. As an FBI agent specializing in monitoring terrorist cells, she has a talent for understanding human behavior when in a group, but when coupled with her logic, she shows a lack of compassion and understanding for people on an individual basis. Basically, she's set up to be the the rock-hard pillar static, badass, action hero character of the series.

The character who will be acting out the role of human compassion, confusion and immeasurable sixth sense and/or intuition is Father Jack Landry. Father Jack showed an immediate unwillingness to accept the visitors with such haste as they had revealed themselves and we are to assume it was because of his fear that the visitors might be worshiped as gods.

The conflict of racism will doubtless revolve endlessly around character Ryan Nichols, a visitor disguised as a black man. He knows that the visitors have been around planning to take over Earth for decades and is a traitor to their cause. Ryan wants to help the humans, but because he is a visitor himself, he will definitely be accosted with distrust and blatant, senseless racism from humans, and a distinct lack of compassion from other visitors.

Other important characters, so far, include:

Anna, the leader of the visitors. She has shown herself to be very manipulative and to have a keen understanding of the human race. She knows what humans want and how to get them to like her.

Chad Decker is the television personality who the visitors, mostly Anna, con into becoming their human spokesperson who sacrifices his journalistic integrity and sells out the human race in the hopes of furthering his career by heralding the greatness of the visitors, as Anna sees fit. I expect him to die about the same time he grows a conscious, but before he actually gets to do anything significant against the V's.

Tyler Evans, Erica's son, who, motivated by his uncontrollable teenage sex drive which is manipulated by visitor, Lisa, has joined with the visitors' ambassador program meant to enhance humanity's acceptance of the V's. This will surely become important as our stone-cold action hero will probably risk humanities survival trying to convince her son that the V's are evil.

Valerie Stevens is Ryan's fiance, and her role will probably be to confuse or enhance human opinion concerning Ryan. I wouldn't rule out, however, the possibility that she is also a visitor manipulating Ryan.

There are also several minor characters that will mean as much to the story as turtle shells in any Mario game (essential to make the story what it is, but not dynamic, evolving or even that interesting). One such character is Erica's partner who turns out to be an anti-human visitor, Dale Maddox. Another is Marcus, Anna's right-hand man and obedient visitor servant. Then there's Gorgie Sutton, the leader of the only anti-visitor organization that knows how long the visitors have really been around and what they've been planning. Besides that, there will probably be characters that mean something emotionally to these various main¬-so-main characters that will probably die and/or turn out to be visitors themselves, creating a small amount of conflict within the main characters for us to watch.

The story so far:

Aliens. They're here. They say they're going to help us, cure us, take something, and then leave. Plus, they look hot. Almost everyone in the world wants to give the aliens anything they want and become mindlessly devoted to them, almost instantly. A select few question or just out-rate hate the visitors. Of these select few, the ones the story focuses on are those that meet together in a secret place to discuss what the visitors really are, how to recruit more to resist the aliens and how to militarize a resistance force. This meeting is interrupted, however, and almost everyone is killed, except those characters listed above. Erica's son joins up with the V's. Ryan, an old resistance comrade of leader Gorgie's, saves Gorgie and reveals himself as a traitor to the visitors. Erica looks up into the sky and decides she's going to blast the aliens to hell, after she defended her life against her partner (and, maybe, lover?) who was a visitor spy, and confirms Father Jack's fears that humanity my well be doomed as they are all being manipulated to worship false gods.

The other stuff:

The overall feel of the episode was somewhere between made-for-TV movies and well funded sci-fi programming.

I'd rate the graphics about on par with Farscape, but higher than something like Stargate SG1 or Star Trek: The Next Generation and it's various counterparts. To be fair, however, the visual graphics used in V focus around CGI, whereas those in Farscape focused on set design, make-up and puppets. As far as make-up effects go, V has done well in the first episode, what with fake human flesh ripping away to show reptilian skin, and all, and the integration of CGI into live-action scenes isn't horrible, but it is noticeable.

The music should really be called aura, I suppose, since it barely shows up or enhances anything in the show. Much like other modern sitcoms or prime-time programming, the focus is on the dialog between characters.

I want to say that watching V gives the same feeling as watching Grey's Anatomy minus the sex the audience wants to happen mixed with Bones minus any humor. You're intrigued enough to see where the story goes, the scene transitions and prolonged focus on any character's face as they emote ominously aren't too over-the-top, but there is the same amount of predictability. You know where the story is going and what the characters will likely do, even if you never saw the original series. I'm really hoping to be surprised by some twists and turns, but only time will tell.