Tuesday, June 23, 2009 11:22 PM
One of my first articles for this website was me stating I have finished watching The Simpsons. It was a painful decision, but even being a fan for my entire life (literally), I just cannot take how awful the humor has become. There just does not seem to be a single writer on their staff that really can make a hilarious episode from the first to last second. Only one writer in the history of the series could do that; John Swartzwelder. But even he has decided not to stay with the series anymore (with only make a brief return for the film). With over fifty-nine writing credits and creating some of the best jokes in the history of the series; I think Swartzwelder is one of my all time favorite writers (in any medium).
What makes him such a great writer is that you never really know what he's gonna do. One mintue he can write a simple scene of Homer talking to his family; the next shot could be one of the most abstract thing you could see in a tv show. A perfect idea of this comes from the seventh season episode "Radioactive Man". One minute Bart is talking to Milhouse on the set of the self-titled film (Milhouse is Fallout Boy), then he suddenly blows up! We learn it was just a dummy and Bart sighs seeing Milhouse just riding on a bike....and then the next second he gets run over by a truck! It's the quick timing of his jokes that really makes it funny. Most people would set up the joke or let the viewer in on what is really going on; that isn't how Swartzwelder does it. He just keeps going and going and it feels like the jokes will never stop.
His scripts in particular are really interesting to see (as some are available on DVD's or online) cause it's just a best look into the mind of Swartzwelder. There's so much he adds to his work that the other writers have to trim his stuff cause they are really risque for television. Some jokes, however, gets to stay in the final script, as they are too funny to pass up. Again another example of this comes from his ninth season episode "Bart Carny". In it, Cooder (a carnie) shows one of his many talents with a cigarette. He puts it in his mouth, it comes out of his nose. Then he puts it in his ear, and then suddenly it comes out of his....well a place where the sun don't shine (to put it mildly). That was not suppose to air but they allowed it anyway; plus the fantastic offstage 'No!' by Homer (also a Swartzwelder joke) makes the joke one of the classics of the series.
Now I know what all of you are thinking: 'If Swartzwelder is such a great writer, why hasn't he done other tv shows? Or why hasnt he expressed his views on his writing, like on a DVD commentary?' Well the problem with that is, he is a recluse. He wants no part of expressing his 'genius' and has stressed he will never give interviews or comments on his work. What he does do, other then Simpsons episodes, is novels. Detective and science fiction novels to be more exact. Let me tell you that they are some of the funniest books you could read and definitely some of the more 'far out' ideas for a book. Most follow the adventures of detective Frank Burly and it is a detective/noir novel but with a comedic twist. These novels are basically just how his Simpsons scripts read. Very surreal and will totally make no sense when you first read them. If you are wondering on what these books are and how to get them: Go on Amazon.com and please pick up The Time Machine Did It, Double Wonderful, How I Conquered Your Planet, The Exploding Detective, Dead Men Scare Me Stupid, and future title Earth vs Everybody.
It's a shame John Swartzwelder decides to live the hidden life. He writes some of the funniest things shown on Television and his books are also some of the funniest books you can read. Considering how he lives his life, constant chain smoking and coffee, he might not live that long. However, as Swartzwelder puts it, 'that a doctor did say my constant smoking doesn't seem to hurt me, they might even be benefiting me. If that gives you a chuckle, then that is just a taste of the strange mind of the strangest comedy writers ever. The Simpsons might not be a great series anymore, but the fifty nine episodes he wrote are still some of the best peices of television you will watch.
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I forgot to mention my favorite part of Swartzwelder. When something occurs on screen that doesn't make sense, he puts 'for some reason'. Example: As cowboys are having a duel, one of them is digging a hole for some reason.
Considering this photo is from 1991, he could be a criminal mastermind with no updated photo. lol
Hey I'm gald someone else loves this guy. You definitely need to get his other books, they are hilarious. How did you get his autograph though? That could be one of the most rare things to occur in the universe.
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This is excellent motivation to get that next book. I have an autographed copy of The Time Machine Did It, and it is my treasure, but I never pulled the trigger on the rest of 'em. They look weirdly self-published.
It's also entirely fitting that the only photo you could find of him looks like the one they show on the news of the criminal mastermind that the FBI's been looking for since 1983.